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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People who post mental health memes on social media

64 replies

DonkeyHohtay · 15/05/2019 17:27

AIBU in thinking they are the last people you'd turn to in a crisis?

Those twee little "my door is always open" or "I know who will repost this and who won't" and "Always providing a listening ear to those having a tough time".

I have an acquaintance on FB who posts them all the time. She is the most self-obsessed, selfish and rubbish listener there is. She's only posting the trite shite to make herself feel better.

Anyway. It's mental health week this week. If you're struggling, call a helpline or just tell someone you're having a tough time. In most cases it gets better.

OP posts:

ssd · 15/05/2019 17:29

Totally

Same as when someone describes themselves as a people's person..... And they never are...

ssd · 15/05/2019 17:31

I think part of mental health week should involve advising people to stay well clear of fb

BettysLeftTentacle · 15/05/2019 17:35

IME it’s the people who post those that would have every excuse under the sun if I asked them for help.

RickJames · 15/05/2019 17:35

I know, it always gives me a bitter lol. I have very under control BP II and the family members that post this shit tend to talk about me with hushed voices. The odd time I have gone off on one and spoken what was on my mind at the time, there's been tears, recriminations and god knows what else said behind my back! I don't bother with them much, I'm just living "my best life" as one of those twee fuckers would say

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/05/2019 17:35

I repost these memes, because I have mental health problems, and am there if my friends need me.

I have never seen these memes posted by someone who is ‘self obsessed, a rubbish listener or selfish’ - I know that my friends who post or repost them are genuinely caring individuals.

And I think it is vital that we talk about mental health issues, and that people know that they don’t have to hide their mental health diagnoses. There is far too much shame about mental illness - and far too much scepticism too - you can’t see my illness, so some people don’t believe I am ill - or they believe I can just ‘pull myself together’ or ‘think positive’ or ‘just go for a walk in the fresh air’.

I find this thread saddening and somewhat mean spirited, if I am honest.

Original poster

DonkeyHohtay · 15/05/2019 17:37

But that's the thing, you know the people in your circle of friends who will drop everything and rush round if you need them. They don't need to advertise the fact, they are just that sort of person.

OP posts:

TooManyPaws · 15/05/2019 17:37

What STDG said. Also a mental illness sufferer here.

kaytee87 · 15/05/2019 17:38

I actually think most people that post these things are people that are suffering themselves op.

thecatsthecats · 15/05/2019 17:39

I agree with SDTG. The two people who post these things on my Facebook are a lovely woman I am long out of touch with, but is not pass agg, but clear and candid about her struggles. The other is a dear friend of mine who has reached out to me and I to her.

I think Facebook is rarely the problem - you just need better friends.

Original poster

DonkeyHohtay · 15/05/2019 17:40

Oh and STD, I've been there with the anxiety, depression and not wanting to get out of bed. More than once. And when you're feeling so awful and black about everything, true friends rally round. They notice you're not OK, or ask directly if there's something wrong. They are happy just to come round and sit with you or offer practical help. They don't need to boast about it on FB.

OP posts:

thecatsthecats · 15/05/2019 17:47

Not in my experience. I'm very good at masking my bad phases by seeming like a shit friend, brushing people off, pretending to be ok.

I don't assume my friends have supersensory powers of mindreading. They're good people, but they've got their own lives, they're not aerials tuned to radio thecats. Reaching out works for me, but I'm happy that you have perceptive friends.

Dyrne · 15/05/2019 17:48

I get so bitter about the “we need to talk about mental health!” Thing at the moment.

Yes, seek help if you need it, which involves waiting 2-3 weeks for a GP appointment; then a ridiculously long waiting list for any kind of talking therapy.

And yes, before anyone says it, I am bitter.

My workplace does it too and I want to scream.

“Mental health is so important to us! Please reach out if you need help! Go for a walk at lunchtime!”

Err... how about stop cutting resources and increasing workload meaning everyone is stressed to the gills drowning in tasks; and actually communicate changes to your staff so they don’t find out about possible redundancies via gossip? Just proves they’re paying lip service to the idea and don’t actually give a shiny shite about their staff’s mental health.

MotherOfMinions · 15/05/2019 17:55

I have to agree that all the people I know who post these memes on FB are the last ones to help anybody in a crisis

RickJames · 15/05/2019 17:56

Yeah, but do people really want to talk about mental illness? And not just 'safe' kinds of mental illness. And if they want to talk about It, does that mean they accept it?
I'm really lucky because I have wonderful professional help every week and whenever I need it. I don't have to rely on family or friends. I never have to burden anyone who isn't paid to deal with me. Believe me, getting to keep your dignity through an illness is priceless.
For people that don't have this, these memes must be a bit soul destroying when they compare them to the actual lived experience with the meme poster.

OldUnit · 15/05/2019 17:57

Mental health sufferer here too, and I agree with the OP.

I have been on my knees and crawled my way back to functionality more than once. I would never post this shallow, empty tripe because those who really know me KNOW. They know I've been through it and I'm there for when (if) it happens to them. I find these posts salacious virtue signalling from people who want to know when someone else is on there knees but would have no fucking idea what to say or how to handle it other than a cursory 'could be worse' 'look on the bright side' 'you have to be more positive'.

Fuck that.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/05/2019 17:59

Well - all this thread has achieved is to make sure I won’t repost one of these memes again, in case my friends think I am just virtue signalling and am really self absorbed and nasty, with no intention of helping anyone.

And I feel shit for having reposted them in the first place.

Thanks.

OldUnit · 15/05/2019 18:02

It's the equivalent of me posting

"Smell gas? Call me! I'm not a corgi gas fitter, but I'd love to know if you're about to blow up. I doubt many of my friends will re-post this, I know who will..."

ObvsItsNotMe · 15/05/2019 18:03

I post them because I have a mental illness myself and I'm desperate for people to really understand what that means for me. I'm also an excellent listener and generally very empathetic and sympathetic precisely because I have been in that pit myself.

ssd · 15/05/2019 18:03

The only people I know who post these sorts of memes, are the most self absorbed self satisfied people you could meet. They are only concerned with themselves, all day long. They are the last people you'd go to as every discussion ends up about them and how they are, how they feel etc etc.
I find the people I can talk to the most avoid social media as much as I do.

ssd · 15/05/2019 18:05

If posting them help others then that's great but I for one have found nothing positive about them.

ssd · 15/05/2019 18:06

SDT, this isn't a dig at you but everyone is talking about their own personal experiences of these memes.

RickJames · 15/05/2019 18:08

Oldunit

ManchesterBorn · 15/05/2019 18:10

YABU

people deal with things in their own way.

I can think of a couple of people who post a lot of these. I tend to ignore, but I know they finally admitted they had problems and have been seeking professional help. It's a way for them to show they are not ashamed and they are now honest ,after hiding it for years.

Good for you if you feel high and mighty and judge others, I hope they won't turn to YOU when they need, but it doesn't mean they are all like you.

ExhaustedGrinch · 15/05/2019 18:13

...and this isn't trite OP?

If you're struggling, call a helpline or just tell someone you're having a tough time. In most cases it gets better.

Fucking hell. If only I knew to call a helpline or just tell someone I'm having a tough time, well I'd be cured of my lifelong mental health problems. In most cases it gets better - yes, and in many cases it doesn't. In many cases people take their own lives. Talk about minimising mental health problems. I know who I'd rather chat to about my ill health ... !

ManchesterBorn · 15/05/2019 18:16

you are right ExhaustedGrinch, so much better not to ask anyone for help, keep hiding it and struggling.

Fantastic advice

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