To be feeling like I've no real quality of life but not sure what to do!

[kidsrannoying]

For a variety of reasons, both DH and I have to be out of the house by 6 and wake at 5 to do this. MIL then takes the kids to nursery.

Short term, OK. Long term, it is killing us.

I am EXHAUSTED. Nothing - newborns and teeth and breastfeeding - comes close. My eyes sting at work, are red and watery. I fall asleep between 8 and 9 in the evening. Home between 5 and 7.

It is hard to explain. Perhaps I am being soft. But I really am so tired and I feel like I've no life, no evening to speak of ... Is it always going to be like this or is my body adjusting?

Could you get out of the house in less time in the mornings? We have 2dc (4 and 1) and, despite dh's insistence that it takes a minimum of an hour, we're now able to get all of us out in about 35 minutes. Takes teamwork and lots of organisation, but the extra sleep is worth it!

Is your body adjusting? How long have you been doing this for?

Do you have any help eg a cleaner, gardener, ironing service etc?

That set up is unsustainable IMO.

Why are you reliant on public transport?

Would one option be for one of you to lodge somewhere v near work some nights during the week?

Do everything can to make the public transport as nice as possible. For me this includes having music, a snuggly scarf, decent coffee, something to read and a nice perfume on my wrist and scarf so I don't suffer from wierd other people smells.

I missed the bit where it's only for 2 months! Well, yeah, it's not forever so at least there is light at the end of the tunnel....and an early start is better at this time of the year than say, January!

PurpleDaisies

^

Well spotted, Sherlock. What do you want, a prize?

Moving now wouldn't be great CV wise. I've had a lot of disruption.

I can't drive for a period of time. A taxi there and back every day would be around £40.

Well spotted, Sherlock. What do you want, a prize?

No.

It’s daft to say the op shouldn’t be exhausted because you’re not when she’s actually out of the house for up to three more hours per day.

Oh you got a driving ban?

Or epilepsy etc derren

It does sound knackering OP . . . but it can be a bit annoying when a poster doesn’t give enough details for constructive advice to be given. Folk on here are smart and make some great suggestions if you give them enough background!

Or a broken foot, or no car ... Not sure driving ban is the first thing I'd jump to

or temporarily only having one car, or medical issues ... all sorts of reasons.

I'm quite smart myself

It'll be OK. For now though it is very much not OK and I reserve the right to say this!

Why do you have a 2hr commute each way? that's the main problem.

I would be looking to move jobs to one way closer to home or house closer to job. That would save 2-3 hrs per day alone.

Isn't this just a temporary situation though? So you will be driving in a few weeks and then it will be school summer holidays? So just focus on getting through and then reassess what changes you can make.

My life pretty much and I don’t have young DCs. Life is written off for me Monday to Friday; work til 6, home, tea, fall asleep in chair at 9.00! Weekends okay though.

Is there a reason it takes an hour between getting up and leaving the house? If I'm organised (or when I massively oversleep) I can be up and out in less than 15 mins. Getting up at 5 is a killer, getting up at 5:45 is nowhere near as bad.

8/9 till 5 is really not bad. My toddler gets up at 5 with multiple wake ups and it’s doable as long as I’m asleep by 9.30. I really think you should see your doctor. Could be a deficiency of some kind or it could be a symptom of depression.

Sounds not dissimilar to what many people do for years on end! You’re getting 8-9 hours sleep per night so if you’re still utterly exhausted that sounds like something to get checked out at the GP perhaps.

It’s two months, that’s nothing. Not meaning to sound competitively exhausted 😂 but I did 9am-midnight mon-fri and then 11-7 sat-sun for ten months once and I got through it (plus academic work on top and a chronic pain disability that necessitated drugs that made me incredibly sleepy). It was hell but if it’s for a limited period you just knuckle down and get through it. I’d have killed for your schedule 😂

Your hours are far too long. Far far too long. You need to move closer to work or work closer to home and make this change asap.

In the meantime, if it really is just for a few months - until end of summer term, then you need to make life extremely easy for yourselves.

If you get home at 7 then you effectively only have 2 hours before you should be asleep.
Have a quick shower and get into PJs straight away. Then 30 mins with DC so you don't feel guilty. Eat healthy instant food. Jamie's meals in 15 or Nigel Slater Real fast food are great. Don't cook.

Leave everything to the weekend.

Best way to feel good at weekends is to block them out into 6 (or seven if you have Friday evenings free) chunks of time, each of about 4 hours.
Spend 1 chunk of time together as a family sorting stuff: cleaning, laundry, shopping, batch cooking. Everyone mucks in.
Spend 1 chunk of time entirely doing your own thing while the other one looks after DC. That means you and DH know you always get half a day each weekend to do whatever you need or want without being accountable for anyone or anything else. You can sleep, work, see a friend, go shopping etc, We did this. the rule was that even if you are at home napping, it's the other one's responsibility to stop DC from throwing their bodies at the door and shouting Muuuum. That time is sacred recuperation time. It kept us sane.
Then the fourth chunk of time is a half-day family outing somewhere fun.
That leaves two chunks of time free to fill with whatever comes up. Invitations to friends etc. But if you think of weekends in this way you don't over-book. You don't spend all day with relatives one day and another day helping out at the Scout jumble sale then feel ratty and tired all week. You know the first four chunks of time are essential for sanity. the rest is up to you.

I get up at 5 to go running before work (leave the house at 645).

I don't find it bad at all but I am a natural early riser and I try to always be in bed by 930 at the latest and asleep by 10, otherwise it starts being difficult.

It's also much nicer this time of year when it's light.