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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be feeling like I've no real quality of life but not sure what to do!

71 replies

kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 16:51

For a variety of reasons, both DH and I have to be out of the house by 6 and wake at 5 to do this. MIL then takes the kids to nursery.

Short term, OK. Long term, it is killing us.

I am EXHAUSTED. Nothing - newborns and teeth and breastfeeding - comes close. My eyes sting at work, are red and watery. I fall asleep between 8 and 9 in the evening. Home between 5 and 7.

It is hard to explain. Perhaps I am being soft. But I really am so tired and I feel like I've no life, no evening to speak of ... Is it always going to be like this or is my body adjusting?

OP posts:
ssd · 15/05/2019 16:54

You are exhausted as you are working hard and on little sleep. It must be relentless. I don't know what to suggest, presumably you and dh are doing it to keep a roof over your heads. It must be hard on MIL too, be there every morning.
Can you look at anywhere you could save money and try to cut your hours a bit?

BogglesGoggles · 15/05/2019 16:56

Are you commuting long distances or something? Any chance of working from home?

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 16:56

Neither of us can cut our hours unfortunately - job doesn't work like that. Or work from home!

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 15/05/2019 16:57

That sounds utterly miserable. Different job?

MyDcAreMarvel · 15/05/2019 16:58

8/9 till 5am isn’t little sleep though, it’s 8 or 9 hours. I think you should see your GP.

Fiveredbricks · 15/05/2019 16:59

Well yeah, if you're up at 5am you need to be in bed by 9pm at the latest. So give yourself a new bedtime of 8.45 if the kids are asleep before then and lights out at 9.15pm 🤷 (and a blackout blind)

Two weeks and you'll feel a hell of alot better.

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 16:59

Not for a while ... it is pretty miserable though! I thought everyone was going to tell me to man up and they get up at 4 to walk 30 miles to work Grin

OP posts:
WalkingDownMadison · 15/05/2019 17:00

I'd (personally) rather live in a tent and live off berries than live like that OP, it sounds like a total grind.

Sorry if thats not helpful. But if you have reached breaking point, sometimes you have to break out of the box ... I'd give up my job for a start.

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 17:00

I always seem to be exhausted though Five, even when I go to bed crazy early. And it pisses me off. We get no time as a couple, no time to enjoy these gorgeous lighter evenings. Just feel miserable with it!

OP posts:
Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 17:00

But then we actually would be in a tent ... it's really not practical

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 15/05/2019 17:01

You need to be strict about your bedtimes and “sleep hygiene”. Why are you doing this?

WalkingDownMadison · 15/05/2019 17:03

sleep hygiene Confused.

I don't think thats the OP's problem.

It sounds horrible in every way.

You have to be creative OP. Maybe not a tent, but I'm sure you can think of something?

Or else just accept it.

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 17:04

Well, I think I have to accept it ...it isn't forever but for a couple of months. Feels like forever though!

OP posts:
DarlingCoffee · 15/05/2019 17:06

Yes, what time do you go to bed OP? Could this be pushed forward to an earlier time? I think you need to look at the variables you can change, and I would start with your jobs.

WalkingDownMadison · 15/05/2019 17:06

a couple of months should be OK

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 17:08

Well, I've been falling asleep any time between 7 (!) and 10. Mostly around 9.

OP posts:
Furble · 15/05/2019 17:10

I’ve been doing a 5am wake up for a couple of years now. We’re about to move house and I’ll be moving to a 4.30am wake-up (im nervous about that). I’m in bed by 9 and asleep by 9.30. I promise you it does get easier. Now the lighter months are here, I suggest sleeping with the curtains open to let some light into the room. You got this OP.

HBStowe · 15/05/2019 17:10

I think you need to see a GP, because if you’re going to sleep at 9 and waking at 5 you’re getting 8 hours of sleep per night. That should be more than enough for an adult. It would be worth going for a check up just to make sure there’s nothing going on.

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 17:14

Maybe ... I think it's just general. I don't sleep well at weekends as I desperately want to stay up but my body won't let me lie in.

OP posts:
Orangeballon · 15/05/2019 17:16

Would it be possible to take a week or two sick leave due to exhaustion. Your doctor would be sympathetic and would agree to put something else on the sick line if necessary. Before you have a nervous breakdown.

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 17:17

I wish I could ... I think I'd lose my job.

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 15/05/2019 17:19

Imo getting up anytime before 6am is a killer regardless of bedtime. I don't think the human body is suppose to get up before sunrise. I don't care what anyone says.

Original poster
kidsrannoying · 15/05/2019 17:20

Yeah, I am inclined to agree!

OP posts:
TheWeeMacGregors · 15/05/2019 17:21

I leave at 5 every day so that I can leave work at 4.30 and do kids pickup at 6 in the evening. Home by 6.15, bed by 10pm. I am an early bird though and enjoy the mornings. I get tired though and have to nap at weekends! Bit shocked to hear people think it’s not healthy though!!

Handsoffmysweets · 15/05/2019 17:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.