Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Nursery worker exchange

48 replies

Storkbloom · 14/05/2019 21:32

DP had a day off work today and we all went to the park... DSD is 3.3, today we had been at the park for hours, playing football etc, she had walked a lot. On the way home she was a moody, lagging, asked to sit in the pushchair. We usually still bring it out if we are going to be out for more than a quick trip, just in case. She asks for it when she wants it, or if she is having a tantrum and throwing herself on the floor then I will strap her in (issue when I have extra bags etc so cannot carry her).

We needed to pop into a shop on the way home just to grab a few bits we would need for dinner, the shop was small so I waited outside, DD was relaxing, dp went in.

Then a staff member from her nursery saw us, recognised me, and said "you have no shame! No shame!" I was very confused, probably looked it, as she carried on "what have you got her in the chair for!?" I explained we'd been out all day and she was hot and tired, and before the nursery worker left she said "you should stop babying her and have another one"

Now, she said all this with a smiley face, so I assume if was supposed to be ""banter"" but AIBU to feel she was out of place, was she BU? Of am AIBU to still have DD in buggy sometimes? Or was this exchange fine and I should get over it?

OP posts:

MamaWeasel · 14/05/2019 21:41

She was bu, you were doing what worked best for your child and your family and it was none of the nursery worker's business!

MamaWeasel · 14/05/2019 21:43

She was BU. You were doing what worked for your child and your family, and it was none of the nursery worker's business.

Lazypuppy · 14/05/2019 21:43

I think over 3 years old is too old to be in a pushchair, but she was a bit rude to say it quite like that

BishopofBathandWells · 14/05/2019 21:44

Yeah I'd have been pissed off by that. Not exactly professional, is it?

Thehop · 14/05/2019 21:44

She was rude and really unprofessional

I would never speak to a parent like that. One that employed me or a peer! Nobody’s business but yours.

Sleepinglemon · 14/05/2019 21:46

Not many 3 year olds can keep up with the rest of the family for hours on end. She was BU. Besides the fact it's none of her business.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 14/05/2019 21:50

I don't know any 3 year olds , now or previously who are still put in a buggy. You use it because it's easier for you, effigy is absolutely your choice, but I think you're offended because her joke hit a nerve.

PineapplesandtheGovernment · 14/05/2019 21:50

Well it's not really any different than if you'd strapped her in a car seat and driven home from the park. Except walking with a push chair is more eco friendly!

nuttyfruitcake · 14/05/2019 22:03

Well I have a 3 year old and no car so yes I use a pushchair. Yesterday I walked 30 mins somewhere plus 30 minutes back, instead of a few mins by car. My 3 year old had already walked the dog, gone to gym class, the park etc so wouldn't be able to manage more.

My neighbour uses one most mornings on the school run with her 3.5 year old. That's as it's a long walk there and back home before nursery.

TriciaH87 · 14/05/2019 22:09

My youngest used his pushchair at almost 4. That was due to living a 45 minute walk from town. The bus hardly ever ran and as I did not drive I had no choice(severely anemic child that a walk to the park was a lot). I took pushchair and he walked what he could. Even when collecting his brother from school and my youngest is fairly tall not one member of staff commented. It would not be their place. I suggest talking to the nursery manager.

UnicornRainbowsRain · 14/05/2019 22:14

In my experience people who flinch at a 3 year old in a buggy usually don't go very far without a car. She's out of line and I would be having words.

hazeyjane · 14/05/2019 22:15

I don't know any 3 year olds , now or previously who are still put in a buggy.

Well I know plenty of 3 year olds who still go in a buggy....it is no one elses business. I also work in an early years setting, if I heard that anyone I work with had said something like this, I would have words with them it is completely unprofessional.

Mrsbclinton · 14/05/2019 22:16

I would have used the buggy for situations like this till DS was probably 3 & half.
Makes life easier for everyone.

The nursery worker sounds judgement & unprofessional.

Mrsbclinton · 14/05/2019 22:16

judgemental

NorthernRunner · 14/05/2019 22:18

I wouldn’t speak to a parent like that. I may think to myself hmmm perhaps a bit babyish but I definitely wouldn’t comment on it and I certainly wouldn’t say that you should have another- talk about crossing boundaries.

Some people just don’t think before they speak, I would try forget about it and just brush it off as someone who is a bit foolish and gobby.

KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies · 14/05/2019 22:19

I had a friend with an epileptic daughter who would be exhausted after a fit. Her fits look like temper tantrums. So the friend got a lot of stick for that. I think that type of fit has also not that long been recognized as epilepsy.

My youngest has had issues with her knees since birth. Sometimes I would carry her on my back in a half buckles, home from school when she was in reception. It also helped me because she wasn't able to run off which she does because of special needs. The looks and comments I used to get. Jeez. She's eight next week and I can still fit her in it, it's huge (I keep it for sentimentality and I might be able to pass it on if one of them has kids)

angelikacpickles · 14/05/2019 22:20

This is the only place I have seen people express horror at the idea of a three year old in a buggy. I don't understand it at all. Of course children should be encouraged to walk, but if you are out for the whole day, it makes sense that small legs will be tired. And nobody bats an eyelid if you put them in a car seat to get home.

MsAwesomeDragon · 14/05/2019 22:22

Dd1 was out of the buggy completely well before 3, and I was smug.

Then we moved and I had dd2. We lived further away from places but didn't want to use the car for every trip. We used the buggy for dd2 til she was nearly 4. Because we had to go further!!! She just couldn't manage the half hour walk to the park, then playing, then the half hour walk back. That amount of walking is too much for a 3 yo.

Original poster

Storkbloom · 14/05/2019 22:25

Thank you for replying.

I guess that's what struck me, it seemed unprofessional.
Even the "you should have another" didn't sit right (I don't want another!), she doesn't know the circumstances.

But yes, as a PP said maybe I do feel guilty about still using the pushchair (she doesn't have SEN or any medical issues)... but she seems to struggle sometimes with longer walks (we don't have a car, sometimes we use a bus but she gets travel sick) or when she's been playing and we are walking home end of day. Should I just carry her if she starts being stroppy with the walking? Sometimes she will just refuse to move or even try pulling her hand out of mine and when I pick her up she kicks and hits me (bad days).

OP posts:

Original poster

Storkbloom · 14/05/2019 22:27

And nobody bats an eyelid if you put them in a car seat to get home.

I hadn't considered it from that angle... Thank you.

OP posts:

kaytee87 · 14/05/2019 22:28

She was very rude.

My DS who is 2.8 still goes in his buggy and I don't see it stopping any time soon. We never use the car for journeys that can be done by walking or train. Sometimes I walk 6 miles in a day, he can't do that and play, climb, run too so he uses his buggy if we're going far. It also keeps him safe along busy roads.

YY to person upthread who said no one would bat an eyelid to a 3yo in a car seat.

CheshireChat · 14/05/2019 22:35

I occasionally plan shopping trips so my kid can have a rest in the trolley- he's 4 and I'm sure he's over the weight limit but he simply can walk anymore. And this is the kid who recently walked around 7 miles without any real break 🤷🏻‍♀️

CheshireChat · 14/05/2019 22:36

Can't clearly.

TheTrollFairy · 14/05/2019 22:41

Are we not supposed to use a buggy for 3 years olds? I never got that memo, I always bring it if we are going to be out for the day as DD wouldn’t be able to keep walking for that long!
The nursery worker was weird telling you that you need to be ashamed over your choice of using it

Original poster

Storkbloom · 14/05/2019 22:52

I would use the bus more if it weren't for the travel sickness tbh, but I do enjoy walking. Maybe because the worker knows we live close to the shop (same road as nursery), she thought we had put her in just to go 5 mins, rather than it being last stop on route home.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2