Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Nursery worker exchange

48 replies

Storkbloom · 14/05/2019 21:32

DP had a day off work today and we all went to the park... DSD is 3.3, today we had been at the park for hours, playing football etc, she had walked a lot. On the way home she was a moody, lagging, asked to sit in the pushchair. We usually still bring it out if we are going to be out for more than a quick trip, just in case. She asks for it when she wants it, or if she is having a tantrum and throwing herself on the floor then I will strap her in (issue when I have extra bags etc so cannot carry her).

We needed to pop into a shop on the way home just to grab a few bits we would need for dinner, the shop was small so I waited outside, DD was relaxing, dp went in.

Then a staff member from her nursery saw us, recognised me, and said "you have no shame! No shame!" I was very confused, probably looked it, as she carried on "what have you got her in the chair for!?" I explained we'd been out all day and she was hot and tired, and before the nursery worker left she said "you should stop babying her and have another one"

Now, she said all this with a smiley face, so I assume if was supposed to be ""banter"" but AIBU to feel she was out of place, was she BU? Of am AIBU to still have DD in buggy sometimes? Or was this exchange fine and I should get over it?

OP posts:

NorthernRunner · 14/05/2019 22:57

stork yes she wouldn’t know that you had been out prior, but that’s why she shouldn’t have said anything, and why I would imagine most people wouldn’t dare to comment.

I do think from a childminders point of view, 3 is teetering on the edge of being too big for buggy, that being said, I don’t walk for miles with my 3yr olds, we stay fairly close to home. However speaking as a parent, I’ve been there when we have done trip to aquarium, getting there and walking round was fine, but on the way home, it was horrendous and I deeply regretted not having the buggy...sitting firmly on the fence on this one.

number1wang · 14/05/2019 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PineapplesandtheGovernment · 14/05/2019 23:01

If you see her getting in the car for a short journey make sure you kick up a stink. "you have no shame! No shame!" "why are you driving when you could walk? You need the exercise and have you not heard of climate change?"

Copperandtod · 14/05/2019 23:04

Each to their own but 3 years old seems too old to be in a buggy. The nursery worker seems to have general concerns about her being baby’d which means she may be referring to the way you are in general. Why is your 3 year old having tantrums and as a result you are strapping her in a buggy. If I was you I would be concerned about that. Do you baby her in other ways? Sounds like she may be a bit spoilt and nursery worker had trouble holding her tongue?

Flobalob · 14/05/2019 23:09

I know a few people who say they have ditched the buggy for their 2 or 3 year old but then you see the same child being carried regularly. What difference does it make? I'd rather save my back and have them in a buggy when tired!

lillighters85 · 14/05/2019 23:10

My children have been in a pram at 3 years old (but the second seat of a double being used for a younger sibling). When they are tired, you're in a hurry or they just will keep wandering off it's the best option. People love to judge (m)others but it's all bollocks really isn't it? Is anyone going to know or care in a years time whether he was in a pushchair? Will it damage him? Does it harm anyone else? Ignore her.

CheshireChat · 14/05/2019 23:11

TBF I had the odd comment with my kid who was two at the time, but looks and sounds older

And the parents of a three year old friend of my DS's were really defensive that she was still using one- I mostly thought 'ooh, easy way to carry the shopping home'.

Original poster

Storkbloom · 14/05/2019 23:18

Why is your 3 year old having tantrums and as a result you are strapping her in a buggy.

She didn't really tantrum at 2, it's come on more at 3, and I do not strap her in straight away, buggy is last resort. It has been used when she has run away from me because she didn't want to leave, which was dangerous as roads near by. She is too heavy to carry that far (people mistake her for a 4.5 year old in size but she is young in the face still), and I can't do much carrying her if she is kicking. I get looks no matter what I do in those situations though tbh

OP posts:

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 14/05/2019 23:19

It's perfectly fine for a child to have a rest, whether it be in the arms of a parent, car seat or pushchair. When I nannied and had crazy amounts of pick ups, drop offs and groups to attend we always took a pushchair and any aged child (within reason, I'm not pushing a 10 Yr old up a hill) was welcome to pop in and have a ride if they needed a rest.

I have a toddler and young baby atm, I already have a Phill and Ted waiting for when the toddler is at an age he doesn't need to ride all the time but might want a rest every now and again. I don't drive, buses are crap and there are a fuck load of hills here. Most non drivers around here have pushchairs for their pre school aged children and no one bats an eye.

Original poster

Storkbloom · 14/05/2019 23:20

As for babying, she still has a comforter, but again to is that's normal because me and my sister both has comforters in reception. That may seem late to some but when she is upset she wants it, when she is sleepy, when she is sick, when she has a bad dream.

OP posts:

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 14/05/2019 23:27

In my experience people who flinch at a 3 year old in a buggy usually don't go very far without a car.

This.

When dd was 3 / 4 I was on maternity leave with ds and would travel 6 - 8 miles a day. I like to walk. Walking is better for my health and fitness. Walking is better for my mental health. Walking is better for the environment. Walking meant both kids got fresh air. Walking meant that ds could nap in the back seat of the double buggy and if we got home I could get him in the house without disturbing him. Walking meant that sometimes dd could walk too.

But 6 - 8 miles a day is too much for a 3 year old. So sometimes she happily went in the front seat of a buggy.

Never once did I meet anyone whose 3 year old actually walked 6 - 8 miles a day. All the “my child is too old for a buggy” were happy to shove their kids in a seat that actively destroys the environment.

angelikacpickles · 14/05/2019 23:41

Why is your 3 year old having tantrums and as a result you are strapping her in a buggy.

@Copperandtod
Why is her three year old having tantrums? Seriously? Because that's what three year olds do. Not all of them, but plenty. And I assume she straps her in the buggy because she has somewhere to go and doesn't have the time or inclination to stand around waiting for her three year old to decide to cooperate.

Copperandtod · 14/05/2019 23:51

Really?

CheshireChat · 14/05/2019 23:52

Storkbloom I reckon a lot of kids that age and older have 'comforter' just they're toys rather than manky blankets.

I'd like to introduce you to Lovey, who's cold, dead, evil eyes will surely comfort you .

fargo123 · 15/05/2019 06:16

This is the only place I have seen people express horror at the idea of a three year old in a buggy. I don't understand it at all. Of course children should be encouraged to walk, but if you are out for the whole day, it makes sense that small legs will be tired. And nobody bats an eyelid if you put them in a car seat to get home

Exactly. A three year old in a pushchair is the most normal thing in the world where I live in the real world.

Fishlegs · 15/05/2019 06:27

Oh my god, some of you would have a fit if you saw us out and about, with my 4 and a half year old (no SN) often in a buggy, as we rush around collecting children and dropping them off.

I don’t give a shit. She gets tired and I’m not getting the car out to save her a 10 minute walk at the end of a long day!

BeanBag7 · 15/05/2019 06:43

Its the "you should have another" comment which I find most inappropriate. My daughter is only 2 and I'm already getting friends and family asking when we're going to have another. An acquaintance who doesnt know your situation regarding finances, housing, fertility etc has no place suggesting such a thing.

What if you had recently had a miscarriage or had already been trying for 2 years without success? What if DD was an IVF baby and you couldn't afford another round. She should keep her nose out!

Mumofone1593 · 15/05/2019 06:48

I had my neice in my son's pram the other day as she was so tired (3) and someone asked me if she was special needs! A random stranger? Why do people care whether kids are in prams, you let her have a rest in the pram and ignore the woman!

SnuggyBuggy · 15/05/2019 06:55

Me and my sibling were expected to walk at 3 but it really wasn't any of this woman's business.

NewSchoolNewName · 15/05/2019 07:00

She’s rude. There’s nothing wrong with a tired 3 yr old using a buggy.

We don’t use a buggy for our 2 yr old anymore, but that’s because we do most longer journeys in the car, so giving him a carry on the occasions we are out too long for him isn’t a major PITA.

If we routinely walked long distances then we’d absolutely still have the buggy.

My 5 yr old still has a comforter BTW. He’s had it since he was a baby and he won’t go to sleep without it.
He’s not allowed to take it outside the house anymore though so most people are probably unaware how dependent he still is on his comforter (DH & I are scared he’d lose it if he took it outside, he won’t accept alternative teddies etc).

costacoffeecup · 15/05/2019 07:40

My four year old was going in the buggy til Christmas! Can't be arsed with dawdling up the hill to nursery when we've got a train to catch to get to work. Needs must.

llangennith · 15/05/2019 18:17

We took the buggy with us until each DC and DGC was 4. Nothing worse than a weary child spoiling a nice day out when they could rest in a buggy. Great for all the crap you have to take with you too.
I really don't get all this 'too old for a buggy' and 'they should walk'. Why?

EmrysAtticus · 15/05/2019 18:26

The planet much prefers me to have a 3 year old in a buggy than in a car. The walk to nursery is 30 minutes at a brisk pace (and people comment on how fast I walk so closer to 40-45 minutes for normal walkers). DS can't do that distance yet and it would take twice as long and I don't have that kind of time free on the nursery run.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread