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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to call an ambulance for my friend?

107 replies

ISayWhatNow · 14/05/2019 21:10

Firstly - I've done it. He's a very troubled man and is coping with an awful lot at the moment - some very, very serious issues - and personal family stuff. He has a VERY difficult relationship with his father, who is an unpleasant man) I speak to my friend roughly every other day when he's struggling and he knows that he always has me to turn to. His mental health is very, very poor and he's under all sorts of care providers on an ongoing basis for support with this.

He was in court today for an offence (I'm not sure what it is, he hasn't said).

I missed a call from him an hour ago but he left a vm. I just listened to it and he was almost incoherent, really slurring his words, and twice he said "I've got to tell someone, I've got to tell you...." He said he'd been to court and that his father had rung him. That's enough to tip him over the edge and when I tried to call him, repeatedly, his phone went straight to vm. I dithered a bit for a moment and then dialled 999, explained the situation and asked for an urgent welfare check to be done. I think he may have taken an overdose. He was virtually incoherent.

I called 999 so quickly, and now I'm doubting myself. Have I overreacted?? Am I wasting precious time and resources?? I really, really hope not but maybe I should have waited a bit longer and tried to get hold of him again? I don't know.

Has anyone else done this kind of thing before??

OP posts:
TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 15/05/2019 08:04

Is he on social media? Would it be worth posting something on his wall that if anyone is more local they could check up on him. You can delete the post later.

I hope everything is OK. I know how difficult it is to support someone when they are in crisis.

wheretoyougonow · 15/05/2019 08:10

Just a thought. It might be worth calling his local social services and stating you are concerned. Report it as a Safeguarding. They can contact local police and see if a welfare check has/will be done and contact his mental health team. That's what would happen in my area Thanks

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 15/05/2019 08:16

You definitely did the right thing OP and I hope you get good news soon.

I had to report a friend missing once when she left her home whilst in a poor state of metal health. I asked the police to let me know when they found her and they did send a policeman round to update me (she was found in time and taken to hospital and sectioned).

I have to say that the police were brilliant.

ISayWhatNow · 15/05/2019 09:34

I've contacted him via every single method I can think of - and nothing. I'm about to do a gym class and I'm keeping my phone in my bra in case he calls! I'm going to look very odd but I don't care. I'm just praying that his phone is broken or something and he can't access email/social media for some reason.

OP posts:
SirVixofVixHall · 15/05/2019 09:37

How worrying. I hope you do get some news this morning. Have you spoken to the police again ?

Hannah4banana · 15/05/2019 10:10

There's a chance the police haven't had a chance to go out yet. We've been called to break open doors for welfare checks more than 24 hours after the initial call. The sad state of our emergency services Sad

Moondancer73 · 15/05/2019 10:15

Can you call the hospital local to him to see if he's been admitted?

TheInebriati · 15/05/2019 10:19

He was in court today for an offence (I'm not sure what it is, he hasn't said).

Google his name + ''convicted''. He may be in prison.

jitterbug5 · 15/05/2019 10:34

@TheInebriati he'd already rang her after court and was drunk so I don't think he would be would I? I could be completely wrong, I don't know how these things work!

ISayWhatNow · 15/05/2019 11:02

He definitely isn't in prison, he called me on his mobile at home. His home I mean.

Maybe they haven't done a welfare check yet but that doesn't explain the lack of contact......

Another factor is his dog. He's in the flat too. I'm going to start ringing around now. I'll start with 101, don't know if they'll tell me anything? Also hospitals.

OP posts:
TheInebriati · 15/05/2019 11:14

If he has a dog try the RSPCA.

AndOutComeTheBoobs · 15/05/2019 11:16

You're a good friend.

He was probably just pissed and is now sleeping it off.

I hope you hear from him today.

Itsagrandoldteam · 15/05/2019 11:23

I hope you hear from him soon Flowers

Ginkypig · 15/05/2019 11:42

Nothing helpful to add i just wanted to let you know people are thinking about you.

I know you must be really worried. You're doing everything you can. And whatever happens next good bad happy or anger inducing! You know that.

TheBlessedCheesemaker · 15/05/2019 11:46

What town is he in? There’s bound to be a MN not far from him.

Papergirl1968 · 15/05/2019 11:51

Ring the police again on 101. It's not really a 999 matter.

Reaah · 15/05/2019 12:11

What area is he in? If close to me, I could do a drive by or knock and check on him.

ISayWhatNow · 15/05/2019 12:13

HE JUST CALLED ME!!!!! Phew. Little explanation about what happened but he's going to fill me in later. Thank goodness for that!

OP posts:
ISayWhatNow · 15/05/2019 12:14

Thanks for all of the support guys, it's really, really appreciated.

OP posts:
bluebluezoo · 15/05/2019 12:15

Ring the police again on 101. It's not really a 999 matter

It is if the o/p has serious reason to believe he’s od’d, as in her original post.

999 is for risk to life and limb. If he has overdosed then it would fall under that category.

Another idea op, if he is under MH services can you try them? Crisis team perhaps?

motheroffourcats · 15/05/2019 12:15

Great to read he has been in contact. XX

SirVixofVixHall · 15/05/2019 13:25

What a relief op. I am glad he is alright.
Flowers for you.

AhhhHereItGoes · 15/05/2019 13:32

No, you did nothing wrong.

You gave the information and the police/ambulance can decide how they priorities it.

AhhhHereItGoes · 15/05/2019 13:38

Glad he got hold of you.
I hope when he's in a better place he apologies for terrifying you like that.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 15/05/2019 13:46

What a relief he's okay!!

It really wasn't sounding great. Make sure you treat yourself OP, it sounds like you deserve it, it's been a pretty rough few hours for you.