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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to call an ambulance for my friend?

107 replies

ISayWhatNow · 14/05/2019 21:10

Firstly - I've done it. He's a very troubled man and is coping with an awful lot at the moment - some very, very serious issues - and personal family stuff. He has a VERY difficult relationship with his father, who is an unpleasant man) I speak to my friend roughly every other day when he's struggling and he knows that he always has me to turn to. His mental health is very, very poor and he's under all sorts of care providers on an ongoing basis for support with this.

He was in court today for an offence (I'm not sure what it is, he hasn't said).

I missed a call from him an hour ago but he left a vm. I just listened to it and he was almost incoherent, really slurring his words, and twice he said "I've got to tell someone, I've got to tell you...." He said he'd been to court and that his father had rung him. That's enough to tip him over the edge and when I tried to call him, repeatedly, his phone went straight to vm. I dithered a bit for a moment and then dialled 999, explained the situation and asked for an urgent welfare check to be done. I think he may have taken an overdose. He was virtually incoherent.

I called 999 so quickly, and now I'm doubting myself. Have I overreacted?? Am I wasting precious time and resources?? I really, really hope not but maybe I should have waited a bit longer and tried to get hold of him again? I don't know.

Has anyone else done this kind of thing before??

OP posts:
Jellybeansincognito · 14/05/2019 21:44

You did the right thing, I hope everything is ok

DorothyZbornak · 14/05/2019 21:45

You absolutely did the right thing OP.
He's very lucky to have a friend like you.
I hope everything will be okay Flowers

Micah · 14/05/2019 21:49

The police will triage themselves and decide the risk.

They have access to MH resources and will go sooner rather than later if there is a need.

You did the right thing. Only other thing would have been to go round yourself (no idea if this is possible, of course)

Absolutepowercorrupts · 14/05/2019 21:51

Yes, you definitely did the right thing and I hope your friend is ok.

Orangeballon · 14/05/2019 21:55

You did what you thought was best, nots not being unreasonable.

chocolateworshipper · 14/05/2019 21:58

I once took someone to A&E because I was so worried about their mental health. They could not have been more helpful and supportive at the hospital, and reassured me that I had done the right thing. Mental health problems can kill. I hope your friend is ok.

Drogonssmile · 14/05/2019 22:03

You sound like a lovely caring friend OP. I hope your friend is ok Thanks

Threeminis · 14/05/2019 22:10

You absolutely did the right thing op.
Hope your friend gets the help he needs

Muchtoomuchtodo · 14/05/2019 22:17

Without doubt you’ve done the right thing.

You sound like a lovely, caring friend. X

Hollowvictory · 14/05/2019 22:19

People can wait hours for police and ambulance. Yes call them but if he lives anywhere near id also have gone round.

Ohyesiam · 14/05/2019 22:20

More people should have friends like you op.
Hope the outcome of the welfare check
Is good x

NorthernRunner · 14/05/2019 22:23

It may not have been very easy for the OP to just pop round. Her children may have been in bed, she may not drive, she may have been on her way to work, she may have not wanted to just go round for fear as to what she may find...there are plenty of reasons.

OP I think you did the right thing, sending best wishes

queensvillage1 · 14/05/2019 22:24

I think you have done the right thing OP, better to be safe than sorry x

Manclife1 · 14/05/2019 22:27

Might, might, might....

Or the OP lives on the next street. Which is why I asked rather than making it up. The police won’t go straight to the address. It could be hours. Once they get there and smash the door in who’s going to look after the house? If he won’t leave but has taken an OD night the friend not be better to convince him to go to A&E.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 14/05/2019 22:29

I've had to do this after not hearing from a friend who has serious heart problems Police found him unconscious and he was taken to Hospital
The Police were happy to help
You've done the right thing

TheInebriati · 14/05/2019 22:29

Op. you haven't overreacted, but you do need to know what he has been charged with. Protect yourself first. Flowers

dorisdog · 14/05/2019 22:37

Definitely the right thing. The emergency services asses the urgency and go round accordingly. So don't worry about using resources. It's what the emergency services are for. I hope your friend is ok. x

Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 14/05/2019 22:54

Thanks everyone! You've set my mind at ease. And you were all right, if I hadn't done anything I would still be worrying like mad.

He lives about 3 hrs away from me so popping round is not an option, sadly.

I don't know if he's ok, I sent him a text explaining what I'd done and asking him to call me urgently but I've heard nothing and his phone is still off.

I'm guessing that the emergency services won't give me an update? Stupidly, I forgot to ask on the phone.

OP posts:
daffydowndilys · 14/05/2019 22:55

Did you give them your details to contact you?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 14/05/2019 22:55

I don't know - have you got any mutual friends closer to him?

Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 14/05/2019 22:56

Also, I haven't been able to contact him at all since I heard the vm so that's why I didn't convince him to go to A&E or anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 14/05/2019 22:57

No I didn't give them my details. It just went straight out of my head.

No mutual friends, no.

OP posts:
Original poster
ISayWhatNow · 14/05/2019 22:58

I'm really, really hoping that I'll hear from him soon.....I'm leaving my phone on loud in case he calls during the night.

OP posts:
NorthernRunner · 14/05/2019 22:59

Oh OP I hope you hear from him x

SirVixofVixHall · 14/05/2019 23:02

I would call the local police to him and ask them to update you. Did they take your number ?
We once had concerns about an elderly neighbour, in the middle of the night there was a car in her drive, doors open, lights on. It was about two in the morning so seemed odd for her, DH noticed it as he drove past on his way home . The local police were great, came out, checked all was ok, and then called us to say she was fine.