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AIBU?

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Original poster

School reception was rude to me

315 replies

Avalaura · 14/05/2019 09:08

Do I have the right to be angry?
My son moved school and today I forgot to give him some money for a stall were they will be selling buns. So i went to recpetion to see if anyone could give the money to him because they always did at the other school. And she just said " I haven't got time for that I'm afraid I've got other things to do " and then when I walked away she said to other people in the corridor that she has other things to do not bother with that. Then I waited for the reception door to open because it's a lock one. Then she said the other woman that she said she could take it up for her but she can't bother with silly things like that. Im so angry should I complain?

OP posts:
CarolDanvers · 14/05/2019 09:40

You were NOT rude OP. My children have been to three primary schools between them and getting the money to him wouldn't have been a problem in any of them. It was absolutely fine to ask. However clearly it's not done here so that's that and I wouldn't be angry about it if I were you just a bit Hmm at her being abrupt like that.

DramaLlama32 · 14/05/2019 09:41

Of course it's reasonable to ask her to drop something in to your child, what if you had forgotten their coat or packed lunch, would you expect the child to go without. The receptionist at our school does this because it's not safe to have people wondering about the school looking for their children etc

And even if you think it's not part of her job she shouldn't of been rude and talking about a parent to others

Prequelle · 14/05/2019 09:42

I would actually ask the school what the protocol is then in case you need to hand an item over it get a message to a child during school hours.

I think they'll find it hard to not involve the receptionist in this task won't they.

CarolDanvers · 14/05/2019 09:42

Do they still do this? All schools I know do it on the computer now

They did at dd's primary. She left Year 6 last year. It was a reward for well behaved children to get to take the register to the office.

my2bundles · 14/05/2019 09:43

Youngandfree yes some schools still have paper registers. My son is one of the register monitors.

Jeezoh · 14/05/2019 09:43

Blimey there’s some proper miserable sods on this thread with little clues how normal schools work!

She sounds rude, it’s a perfectly normal occurrence for parents to drop in the odd thing their kids have forgotten and for the office staff to get the items to the kids at some point during the day. As long as you weren’t demanding she did it straight away, I think her reaction was off. All the schools I’ve had experience with would pass on items one way or another and only get funny about it if it was a regular occurrence for the same family.

toomuchtooold · 14/05/2019 09:44

There's two things.

First, is the OP allowed to expect that the receptionist will pass on the money? No, because it isn't the receptionist's job - she might choose to do it as a courtesy but it shouldn't be obligatory and she shouldn't have to do it if it would interfere with her work.

Second - is the OP allowed to ask? Yes. It's a small favour. There's nothing immoral or illegal about it. She's not being asked to contribute her own money. It is a reasonable request. And as I said above, it is also reasonable of her to say no. But what's not reasonable is to seek to punish the OP by refusing rudely. She could have said "sorry no, I can't do that." That would have been enough.
This is like this one yesterday with the shouting teacher and the stray toddler. It's possible to be in the right and not be a dick about it. Being aggressive is unprofessional and I don't know why people think it's acceptable in schools, where children are supposed to be getting shown a model of how to behave properly.

Tolleshunt · 14/05/2019 09:44

It's fair enough for the receptionist to say she is too busy. It is not fair enough for her to be rude to you about it. It's perfectly easy to explain politely and respectfully.

I would hope (expect) they teach the kids basic manners, so she should be modelling them, in addition to generally affording others a basic level of courtesy just because.

Poor show.

letsgohooray · 14/05/2019 09:45

I can't even fully understand the post. Then she said the other woman that she said she could take it up for her but she can't bother with silly things like that. Im so angry should I complain? this is barely English....

toomuchtooold · 14/05/2019 09:45

What you said @tolleshunt!

Lllot5 · 14/05/2019 09:46

Do you have access to his class? If so I’d walk in there and give it to him, anyone moans tell them to take it up with misery guys at reception.
I don’t know who they think they are.

PopcornPopper · 14/05/2019 09:47

I volunteer in a primary school where the office staff are lovely and are usually inundated with forgotten items, but they just ring down to the year group and the child is sent to collect the item from the office.

The receptionist is rude talking about another parent to other parents.

I would definitely complain about that, totally unprofessional.

It was money to buy cakes for the school, surely it is in their interest to see that money is passed on to a pupil.

Fionadragon · 14/05/2019 09:47

letsgohooray that’s really quite an unnecessary contribution, you have no idea of the nationality or ability of the OP.

It just makes you look unkind.

Tolleshunt · 14/05/2019 09:47

Likewise toomuchtooold!

notso · 14/05/2019 09:48

I think she was rude and I can't imagine it not being part of the job tbh. The lovely secretaries in DS1's gigantic senior school will happily track him down and pass on a forgotten lunch or PE kit.

my2bundles · 14/05/2019 09:49

Lillot you carnt just walk into a classroom. Schools have inner doors beyond reception that visitors have to be buzzed thro after signing in, visiter sticker issued etc.

Yabbers · 14/05/2019 09:50

You were ride to even ask. It's a very bust time of day for school receptionists, far too busy to run errands for forgetful parents.
Rubbish. People forget things. A decent school has a system in place to deal with it. Ours has a late box in reception, you stick it in there with a name on it and they give it out. It’s never overflowing, mostly it’s empty. But it means on the odd occasion you can pass something to your child.

To suggest the school office is too busy to help parents is ludicrous.

The woman was rude, she shouldn’t have been.

tisonlymeagain · 14/05/2019 09:51

All school receptionists are rude in my experience. Never met one that didn't act like they were on a massive power trip.

You have every right to ask, they have every right to say no but both of you have every right to be treated with respect.

People used to consistently complain about ours to the point where the school had to send them on 'people' training.

SarahTancredi · 14/05/2019 09:53

Pe kits and lunches are a bit different though.

First up they are labelled with names. Amd secondly they can be hung on a peg/placed on a rack which is all usually outside the classroom.

Piles of Loose money ( and when teachers are not even allowed to print colour copies in order to save money so giving out their envelopes is probably not desirable either) is a bit harder to keep track of and theres nothing to stop a kid saying they never got it when they lost it or gave it away, and the parents kicking off at the receptionist.

dannydyerismydad · 14/05/2019 09:53

She was rude, but working in a school office isn't the cosy job it used to be.

Our budget now means jobs that were done by 3 full timers a few years back are done by 3 part timers with 4 working days a week down - almost a whole person. If anyone goes sick it's a real struggle to keep on top of things.

Original poster
Avalaura · 14/05/2019 09:54

All I say now is she just could have been a bit nicer about it but I probably won't be the only one she'd been rude to. Just going to forget it now.

OP posts:
PantsyMcPantsface · 14/05/2019 09:54

I'm bemused by all the primary schools that have phones in all the classrooms! Ours is still in the dark ages and only has a phone into the nursery in the separate building (and I suspect it's mainly to save a walk across there in the cold and wet)!

Our school office staff are absolutely bloody lovely though - they'd have popped down without an issue. Hell if the Head had been in the office and answered the hatch she'd have done so herself - think it helps ours is an infant school and very very child-oriented.

There can be some very very brusque school office staff out there (I used to do supply so I've met a lot) - but then again there's a hell of a lot involved in the general school admin/business manager roles and you've got the day-to-day school related stuff on top of that, plus periods like census time when it's really frantic and all the SATs admin and getting papers stored and sent off to be scanned for markers to deal with on top of that at different times of the year. I think sometimes you get someone in the school office who's superb at the admin side of things but less good with the people and pupil angle (and talking to a 5 year old with a speech delay who's been sent to fetch the register is quite a different skill set from being good at admin and cost-centre management).

I've been taking the mickey out of our office staff for a bit though - we've been waiting for an Ofsted call so they've all been answering the phone in their really poshest telephone voice and we've all been winding them up no end because the tone changes the second they realise it's someone they know!

scarbados · 14/05/2019 09:54

IF the money was in an envelope with your child's name on it, you're not being unreasonable.

If you handed over a handful of loose change and expected her to either drop whatever she was doing and find your child immediately or risk forgetting which of the random collections of coins had been handed in by which child's mother (because I doubt you were the only one) then have you coming back to complain she'd got it wrong, I don't blame her. You're not the only parent, your child is not the only pupil and she's not there to run a personal errand service among the myriad of other things she has to do at a busy time of morning.

boobirdblue · 14/05/2019 09:55

But imagine handfuls of lose change by multiple parents who forgot.*

Hardly likely! Do you honestly see 20 parents queuing outside reception to hand over money...?

OP YANBU!

Even if the policy is not to do this, a polite "sorry we have a no passing money on policy" would've sufficed.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 14/05/2019 09:56

She was unreasonable. And mean, most kids, especially new pupils would be sad to not have what they need. Our reception go above and beyond...for the kids.