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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum ringing in sick, for my junior.

452 replies

KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 16:19

I arrived at work before just checking on the diary and paperwork, and notice one of the junior hairdresser isn't in. One of the stylists (S1) informs me the junior is poorly today.

No big deal we all get poorly, until another stylist (S2) chips in that her mum called on her behalf, and that she's off sick because of a high temperature.

I think it's highly inappropriate having someone ring in on your behalf unless exceptional circumstances (unconscious, hospital, no voice etc) but for a high temp?

S1 thinks that because she's only 16 that's it not so bad that her mum calls on her behalf and I should let it drop.

Myself and S2 think it's absolutely ridiculous she's had her mum ring in on her behalf. Not to mention it's not exactly the greatest reason to be off.

AIBU? WIBU mentioning to her, that in the future she must ring herself unless she is totally unable in doing so.

OP posts:
Whoops75 · 14/05/2019 05:49

Op you strike me as someone who had to be independent and do things for herself.
I think you’re jealous this girls has someone minding her at 16.
You do sound hard/tough
Try to soften up a bit x

ltk · 14/05/2019 06:05

I can't believe the replies you have had on here OP. Does no one work? You would be doing this girl a huge favour by confronting her. Best to learn now while she is young that Mum does NOT call in for you and that your colleagues will not be impressed if they discover you are out shopping while they are picking up your slack at work.

You sound like a great manager.

lboogy · 14/05/2019 06:09

You sound like an awful colleague / boss and I'd hate for my daughter to work for you or with you. She's 16 ffs

mathanxiety · 14/05/2019 06:10

...if you knew me you would know I'm one of the most caring and sofest people you could meet.
You have had a chance to let people know you here and speaking for myself anyway, your first impression is not that great, tbf.

Also you need to refrain from commenting on another employee behind her back no matter who took the call or who reported its contents to you. As the owner you need to keep your own counsel and stop encouraging a culture of snideness and backbiting. Nobody else should know your opinion on this absence, on the SM post, on the mum's call. It's piss poor management practice to discuss this with anyone else no matter how long they have been working in your salon unless they are co-owners and your discussion takes place out of earshot of anyone else.

And FYI - yes I realise she went out shopping - as a potential salon customer, I would not want someone with a high temp anyone near me.

Groovee · 14/05/2019 06:20

A temperature is usually a sign of infection. So would prefer to go to my hairdresser and not pick something up.

If you do back to work reviews post sick leave, I'd reiterate the calling in sick policy.

I'd have a gentle word regarding the fact she quite clearly threw a sickie.

flumpybear · 14/05/2019 06:24

My staff text me or email. Give them space to be ill, be a manager/leader and be fair, you'll be respected, but don't be overly OTT or a PITA and people lose respect easily

kateluvscats · 14/05/2019 06:27

I think a high temperature is a valid reason for being off sick, you are quite unwell if your body is fighting infection with a response of a high temperature. Perfectly reasonable to get her mum to phone in sick for her. You sound like a very hard boss

SaltSpoon · 14/05/2019 06:31

Ah God, give her a break!

DizzySue · 14/05/2019 06:33

The fact that this is going to be this girls career and she is now in the adult world means she should be making her own calls, however as a 16YO apprentice she may still need some gentle help and guidance as she's still learning and maturing.

I'm sure a gentle word suggesting it is more professional if she calls in herself next time will do the trick.

olivetreelane · 14/05/2019 06:34

Poor girl.

My 17 year old was unwell recently and had a bit of a panic attack around calling in sick as she didn't want to let them down. She worked herself up and decided she would go in feeling really bloody unwell. I offered to make the call for her (which almost happened, and I have to still do for her at sixth form) but she declined. I would be livid if I found out this was the result if I had.

Tumbleweed101 · 14/05/2019 06:43

It’s hard for parents to stop doing the phoning etc too. My 18yo is negotiating a new job contract and it’s been hard for me not to pick up the phone and sort it out for her (I haven’t - but it’s been a far longer process than it needed to be lol).

I’d say between 16-18 is when the youngsters need to be taught work rather than school etiquette.

BlackCatSleeping · 14/05/2019 06:45

I think as it's her first time to call in sick, then it'd be appropriate to have a chat with her about expectations. Firm but kind.

Just tell her that she should call in sick herself and you noticed her Snapchat whatever it's called and will let it slide this time, but she needs to consider how these things can come across.

motherheroic · 14/05/2019 06:45

Why are you yapping about it with your other employee?

sonlypuppyfat · 14/05/2019 06:45

Why does it matter who rang? Also why does she have to be professional? Shes only 16 I very much doubt shes earning a professional wage

Catchingbentcoppers · 14/05/2019 06:47

I would not want someone with a high temp anyone near me.

I feel like this. Nothing pisses me off more.

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/05/2019 06:52

I think, because of her age, I'd let it go. It's not like she's in her thirties and getting her mother/partner to ring in.
I think it's probably partly habit and partly anxiety about letting people down/being told off.

Littleduckeggblue · 14/05/2019 06:55

If she's old enough to have s job, then she is old enough to follow policies and procedures. Does it state the correct method for phoning in sick in her handbook / policy and procedures book. Has she signed it? If so I would have s chat with her on her return and inform he that if it happens again then it could lead to disciplinary

Bobcut · 14/05/2019 07:02

She’s 16, gosh she’s a child so what if she doesn’t know right now she should call in herself, her mom was probably being Mumsy saying I’ll call for you.

In regards to the germs, I would hate getting I’ll because of my stylist, if she has a temperature she is carrying something and breathing on someone can make them ill!

I had a girl do my lash extensions who kept sniffing and going off to wash her hands
And breathing on me it was so annoying
I’m preg too so immune sys is low
You don’t know who your cutting and what auto immune disorder they could have

Bobcut · 14/05/2019 07:04

Plus I’m assuming her job is standing sweeping all day- who wants to do that with a temp, would only make her feel worse the next day

SpanishFly · 14/05/2019 07:04

My DH has phoned in sick for me many times in the past.
I don't understand posts like As a boss, if any of my team have had someone else call in, I have politely asked the person ringing if they can ask the employee to give me a quick ring themselves, unless they are seriously ill. I do not give the sick employee the third degree. So why does the employee need to call you themselves?

Ledkr · 14/05/2019 07:05

She should ring in herself but this is what being a junior or apprentice is all about.
As part of her supervisor you should point out that it always looks better if she's calls in herself and it will always be like that in the adult work place.

SpanishFly · 14/05/2019 07:06

I'm confused by the mum going in sick if she knew it was actually a sicky. I think theres more to this story, as pp have said

CynthiaRothrock · 14/05/2019 07:11

Do you have a.sickness policy/staff hand book with your rules in? Do they specifically state what to.do when sick? Did you give her copy and put a copy in her records when she signed your contract? If not you have no right to say anything, she notified you of her absence regardless. And without a policy her mum can phone in sick for her at any time, even when shes 50! If you do have a policy then fair enough. It doesn't matter what "most" businesses expect if you do not have a policy that specific lays it out.
She is 16 it is probably her first real job and bosses can be scary, its a learning curve cut her some slack.

Tink88 · 14/05/2019 07:15

Out of curiosity how much do you pay her per hour?

BlackCatSleeping · 14/05/2019 07:18

@CynthiaRothrock

I disagree with this. There's such a thing as workplace etiquette. Things that are expected but not necessarily written down.

I worked in a kitchen as a summer job from school and my boss told me that I needed to make sure my whites were ironed. I was being lazy, but I made an effort after that.

It's basic manners that if you are sick, you should call in yourself unless the circumstances are really dire.