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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to just want a little consideration .. respect.. something?!?

27 replies

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 21:29

I (we) have 2 dcs. dd1 has just turned 2. dd2 will be 1 next week. I am sure you all appreciate how 'taxing' they can be. I also work 9pm - 2am 3 nights a week to try and make ends meet. So me and dh should treasure my nights off surely??? Not a bit of it as evear he's picked a fight and f*d off to bed. I'm so sick and tired of his mood swings. I know he has stress at work (although he had a v favourable pay review today so he should be happy) if I ask him about work, general worries etc i'm nagging if I leave him to talk to me I'm uninterested. I always back down and talk him round because I don't like him being so low, but tonight screw him. I'm sleeping on the sofa. I can't be bothered any more. I try so hard. I work my knackers off trying to do the best for the girls, keep the house reasonable. I did baking, cooking etc today to use up all of the food that is going past its best in an effort not to waste money/food etc. I don't want a medal, I just don't want to be shot down in flames all the time. I feel worthless and unloved. An au pair rather than a wife.

OP posts:

Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 22:21

anyone?

OP posts:

pyjamaqueen · 18/07/2007 22:23

Sorry you feel like this. I think a lot of us would say we can empathise!

CrookshanksinJimmyChoos · 18/07/2007 22:23

Have you tried sitting down to have a proper chat with him about how you feel? Sometimes, men just don't realise how much we do because we are so efficient at it that they don't realise it needs doing iyswim!!

fransmom · 18/07/2007 22:23

oh sweetheart would he consider going to relate? i know someone else on here has tried that and it made her dp/h sit up and take notice. do you think that may work for you? i'm sorry if that's not right for you, i didn't want you sitting there thinking that no-one was listening to you (((((((((((((((((mp)))))))))))))))))))

Blondilocks · 18/07/2007 22:24

Not sure what to say, but didn't want to leave your post unanswered. Big hugs to you though.

How is he when you talk about other things? x

Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 22:30

thanks. i feel bad for being pushy bumper. I feel like i'm walking on egg shells sometimes. I never know when he's going to get the hump. I can't see him going to relate. I know what will happen he'll be all apologetic in the morn and want to change his attitude - or he'll be all "i'm a horrible person, you know where the door is" But then by tomorrow I'll probably be all. Oh my dh is ace. . . I'm just major fed up I think.

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CrookshanksinJimmyChoos · 18/07/2007 22:33

Yes, it can feel a bit like a treadmil sometimes! I work part time and the days I'm working I just feel as if I'm rushing around like a blue arsed fly and I get narked at DH for not thinking about things in advance - we were arguing over him not putting things on the memo board for shopping - he told me oh I'm running out of my porridge and I said well you know where the pen is, add it on!!! fgs!

If your Dh has had a favourable pay rise, would you be able to consider cutting back on your hours a little bit to perhaps make things a bit easier time wise for you? Also, stress in work can make men total grumps so perhaps a good chat really is in order?

fransmom · 18/07/2007 22:33

don't feel bad you needed help so you jsut nidged everyone a little that was all

my dp gets like that it's awful isn't it, you do feel like you're walking on eggshells for ages tho. does he work and do his share around the home? i only ask cos dp has never done the windows since we moved in, it's always me. he has hardly ever cleaned the bathroom, not just the bath, either.so i specifically aask him to now clean the bathroom for me - esp when he used the bath and hasn't rinsed it - yuck!!!

Doodledootoo · 18/07/2007 22:34

Message withdrawn

fransmom · 18/07/2007 22:41

how about one like his, doodle?!!!

Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 22:44

He does help out round the house. He is in charge of kitchen clean down while I'm at work. I don't physically have time to do it before work and I am apparantly shi* at washing up (shame!). He hoovers as well (that's 50/50 now). all the rest is down to me. I don't expect him to do any more he does work hard. It's not what he doesn't do its more that his life, his job, his problems, his wages, his mortgage etc are so much more valuable than mine. I can't cut down my hours we are still broke (even with the pay rise), plus its my money so i have some independance, even tho its tiring i like going to work and getting away from it all. Maybe I should print this thread and accidentally leave it for him to read.
My next post would be on lone parents tho - I fear!

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Doodledootoo · 18/07/2007 22:49

Message withdrawn

fransmom · 18/07/2007 22:50

oh gawd grief he sounds like he got a superiority complex. he needs a good kick up the arse i'm afraid, mp. sorry if being too blunt but excuse me? does he think it's easy looking after two young children (i find it hard working pt with one so my many hats off to you girlie)

shame you don't live next door to me - we could go out and and paint a street red (i can't afford the whole town either!)

fransmom · 18/07/2007 22:51

ewwwwwwwww i didn't eman him per se, that was the only drawing of a halo that i could find on google!

Doodledootoo · 18/07/2007 22:52

Message withdrawn

Malfoynomore · 18/07/2007 22:53

he sounds like an arse...actually he sounds like the almost (thank god) exhusband of one of my best friends...and thank god she seen the light...yes, relationship go through stages, and I am all for marriage and working it pit, but only if it's worth it, and tbh, sadly don't sound like it is....

Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 22:54

You may be right. I used to have sass and spunk and stuff. Turning a bit doormatty and matyr-like. Think I will have to do the short sharp shock (may go upstairs now and shock him with a jab in the ribs!!!) (maybe not). I so want to leave him with the kids, but feel like bad mom - abandoning kids just to prove a point (there's that bloody matyr again - grrr). I may go out with kids and return late and worry him (can't do 2moro as am at work - so will lose impact) He'll also probably be happy for the peace and quiet and I'll look a proper tit!!!

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Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 22:56

tell you what fransmom - i'll move next door to you and bring my own paint!!!

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Doodledootoo · 18/07/2007 22:58

Message withdrawn

fransmom · 18/07/2007 23:01

me too doodle there is as well!

i have to got o bed now ladies as i'm very tired. i shall look in here tomorrow nite mp. sleep well sweetheart

Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 23:01

Ok will do (not the tits out tho - i'll have someones eye out!!). I used to be trousery, but have got tired and a bit lost i think (i know it happens with moms.
First thing I'm gonna do is get into my own bloody bed. Feck sleeping on the sofa I've done sod all wrong and if he so much as breathes on me I'm gonna chew a testicle off!!! Vive la revolution!!!

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Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 23:02

Oh and thanks for the advice and support girls.
Night night.

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fransmom · 18/07/2007 23:07

vive la revolution!!!

( i had to try and type the r word a few tiem so must be getting tired now!)

for mp to cheer her up

asnd this

err, would these help????

Original poster

mistypeaks · 18/07/2007 23:14

Thanks fransmom. Can i marry you instead please!!! (Or is that a whole new thread!!)

OP posts:

dragonstitcher · 19/07/2007 09:53

(((hugs))) No advice, I'm in the same boat.

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