11 year old DS still wants to sleep in bed once a week

[Stripyseagulls]

My 11 year old DS still likes to sleep in bed with me once a week. He’s quite sensitive and quite young for his age and I kind of figure it’s really not going to be for much longer so go along with it as it makes him feel more secure.

Friend was horrified and now it’s made me feel like I’m being unreasonable letting him. Obviously it’s unlikely to continue for much longer & as he’s got SATS and a lot of change coming up, i’ve been quite relaxed about it.

Aibu?

No. Let him sleep with you, just don't tell your friend!

Once a week is nothing.
I presume his dad isn't in the bed too, just because that'd be cramped and would drive me nuts but just 2 in a bed is nice and cozy.

Does she have kids well you are doing great nothing wrong with it

Screw them! Enjoy it whilst it lasts!!!

That’s made me feel loads better! He just wants to feel secure so I am glad I am going with it!

There have been loads of these threads lately. Lots of kids still choose to sleep with a parent when the opportunity presents itself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your silly friend! Agree with all the other poster.

When my dh is away for work my dc take it in turns to sleep with me

My 10.5 year old DS likes to sleep in with me every now and again. I don’t have an issue with it, he won’t be doing it when he’s twenty so for now I just enjoy the cuddles. I know he does the same when he stays at his dad’s. What is your friend’s issue?

@spotless she thinks it’s unhealthy! She’s never done co sleeping & her kids have been in their own rooms since tiny babies. I guess it’s just a different approach

You are absolutely not being unreasonable, your friend should learn to keep her opinions to herself! My DS10 sounds like your boy and loves nothing more than sneaking into my bed, probably about once a week too. We go with it as we figure he needs the comfort, reassurance and more importantly the sleep. I'll miss it when he is too old to do it.

Both DC like to sleep in with me sometimes, please don't worry! If it makes them feel secure and comforted then no harm done. They'll stop when they're ready so just enjoy.

Dc2 never really slept in with me, until they became mentally unwell and needed the reassurance. This was at the age of 17. They still appear very occasionally in the morning when I am getting ready for work.
It has never occurred to me to deny them - if it's what your child needs, go with it.
Your friend is a judgemental person who has no experience of your particular family, so carry on with what you are doing.

My dd is 8 and just starting to sleep in her own bed again. She goes through phases of wanting to cosleep. I don’t make a big deal about it, just gently encourage her to be on her own room. But if she wants me then that’s fine too.

I look at other mammals and we are the only ones obsessed with making our children sleep separately. Your friend has a different parenting style and that’s ok. But she shouldn’t judge your instincts and your parenting.

My DD11, comes to our bed. After a bad dream, I’m too lazy to get up and take her to bed and I just lift the duvet to let her in. it’s cramped even in a superking tho.
But when her dad’s away we have girlie nights of “devil wears prada” dvd, sheet masks and snoozing together.
Won’t be long before she does a Kevin Hate-You-All so I’m just enjoying it now.

It’s out job as parents to make our kids as secure as possible. We have an open bed policy.

The thing is it’s no ones else’s business but yours, if it’s whats right for your family; then that’s your decision.

My 10 year old DS does too. In fact he comes in at some stage every night. He was a very anxious child who needs a bit of gentle support and I feel co sleeping is helping him. We do insist (mostly) that he starts off the night in his own bed these days as he is improving re anxiety.

I wouldn't tell a soul as ime people can't wait to judge your parenting. Even my good friends will rush to boast about how their child has never been anxious, etc. I think "walk a mile in that persons shoes and then judge!"

If that is what your son needs then you are best placed to judge that and provide that. Never mind other people's reactions.

She’s the odd one

My 11 and 7 year old boys get once a week with me. I try and cuddle them. They move and just love the big bed

My DD16 will get in with me if she’s not feeling well
I don’t mind if she does I’m on my own in a double bed

She’s wrong, you’re right.

My ds 10 loves snuggling up with me. Ignore your friend.

You need to stop talking to other people about it. There are too many batshit people out there who sexualise normal human behaviour.

As you say it won't last much longer anyway so enjoy it while you can. I'm sure the security this sleep offers will really help him adjust to secondary school.

Mammals sleep with their young. We are no different.

My 12yo ds does the same.

My dc have both asked me why I sleep with dad yet they have to sleep alone. They have a fair point.

Do whatever works for you and your family. Making kids feel safe and loved is what they need.