11 year old DS still wants to sleep in bed once a week

[Stripyseagulls]

My 11 year old DS still likes to sleep in bed with me once a week. He’s quite sensitive and quite young for his age and I kind of figure it’s really not going to be for much longer so go along with it as it makes him feel more secure.

Friend was horrified and now it’s made me feel like I’m being unreasonable letting him. Obviously it’s unlikely to continue for much longer & as he’s got SATS and a lot of change coming up, i’ve been quite relaxed about it.

Aibu?

I agree, let him sleep in with you, just don’t tell your friend ! Both mine slept in my bed for years and years. My youngest is 12 and still comes in sometimes, my older dd is 14 and also occasionally comes in to our bed if she can’t sleep.
Much better to be cuddled in with a lovely warm Mum than in a bed alone, when feeling anxious.

My 10yo dd often gets in with me when dh dad is on nights. Sometimes that will be 3 times a week. I bloody love it

My 8yo turns up in our bed most nights before dawn. DH and I barely notice anymore.

Your friend is nuts. How can it be unhealthy to cuddle a child? Co-sleeping is lovely so long as they don't kick and thrash until you end up on the floor

My boys are younger but do sleep in our bed occasionally.
My bff thinks it's very weird and not good at all
I think it's weird that she's literally never had either of her sons in her bed.
I was adamant before mine came along that I'd never cosleep. That lasted a few weeks at the most!
Just carry on.

My son used to find his way with us most nights till he was about 8. He used to climb in the bottom, which he referred as ‘the back of the bed’ 🤣. He also had a doll on bed till her was about 9. He’s 20 now and perfectly well adjusted.

in my 20s i sometimes still jumped into bed with my mum on the odd night!i love her,other folk can fek off

Ridiculous. Her not you.

I had to cuddle my 11 year to sleep
Not weird at all x

oh and it hasnt messed me up in any way

My 11 year old boy isn’t the slightest bit sensitive. Cock of the walk, popular footballer, rough and tough with his mates etc r

You are doing the right thing.

*etc etc

Still gets in bed with his mama once a week

I hated sleeping alone at that age due to being a twin. I grew out of it naturally and it did me no harm whatsoever.

I think there are lots of older kids who regularly sleep with their parents - it’s just one of those things that doesn’t get talked about and people tend to keep to themselves. And for a very good reason! In the modern Western world we seem to think it’s only ok for people in a sexual relationship to sleep in the same bed but it wasn’t like that in the past and it still isn’t in some parts of the world.

Ds(15)' 5ft 9in occasionally comes through if he is ill and/or can't sleep at the weekends. I wouldn't tell my friends as it is not a big deal and it would likely get back to his friends and he'd die of embarrassment.

DS (nearly 11) loves coming into our bed and will frequently jump in there before we go to bed and try to stay put! He succeeded on Friday night as DH was watching TV and I was fine with it (always am really)

DH ended up sleeping in the spare room as it would've been a tight squeeze.

Neither DB or I ever co slept as a regular thing as babies or children, but I remember DM always saying if we were poorly 'do you want to sleep in with us' or just her when DF was away with work, I'd always say no (I only really tolerate sharing a bed with DH because we have a super king size, baby DS on the other hand I love the snuggles). DB would though and I remember even when I was about 14 he would go and sleep in their bed when DF was away before DM came up to bed and she wouldn't have the heart to wake him, he's two years younger so would've been about 12. He would've killed me if I'd told anyone at that age though! Do what is right for you and ignore your judgey friend.

My ds is 11 and going through a very difficult time

He is sleeping in my bed most nights and tonight he is sleeping on the blow up matress in my room no doubt will get in my bed at some point

Perfectly natural to want to feel secure and close to your parent/s

I'm at uni and when I go home for the holidays the first or last night is often spent with me and my mum sharing a bed. I miss her and she's always so busy during the day that I only see her at night and we usually watch Vera, Bones or Mrs Browns Boys. I'd not sleep more than one night in her bed at a time though because her mattress is horrible.

I went through a very difficult time last year and slept in my mums bed with her - in my mid twenties! Not weird at all. Make the most, he will naturally stop doing. Your friend is nuts to be horrified

We've never done it as a routine thing (actively avoided making a rod for own backs when DC were small) but now they are primary school I'd have no issue if they/I wanted to sleep together. They don't get much chance as DH and I share the master bedroom, but I have slept with each if they've been unwell, in the spare double bed. If DH was away and one wanted to creep in on occasion - then why not? It hasn't happened, although DD has hinted she'd like me to sleep in her room - perhaps I should before she's too old to want to!! Enjoy the cuddles!

When my dh is away for work my dc take it in turns to sleep with me
Mine too altho DS is a complete fidget and a pain! DD (12) is fine. Although the biggest pita is the cat!!🤣

A lovely thread

I slept on a mattress on dp floor regularly till I was 12 as got really scared on my own, carried on occasionally until i went to uni. Quite often have 1 or 2 DC in my bed if they can't sleep. I don't mind and it helps them feel safe.