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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my mentally ill sister would be better off in the UK?

207 replies

Catslovepies · 12/05/2019 07:42

Name changed for this as its outing.

My sister and I are dual US/UK citizens. I live in England and she lives in the US. She suffers from bipolar disorder and has been unable to hold down a job. She has no health insurance and our father has been supporting her - however this cannot continue as he is elderly and going broke. If she stays in the US they could both end up homeless.

AIBU to think that she would be better off in the UK? She could get treatment, a small council flat (in the northwest near me), benefits, and support to return to work - couldn't she?

I have no experience with the benefit system or mental health provision as I haven't needed either of these - I am very fortunate to have a good job and good mental health. So it is difficult for me to advise her. I know under austerity there have been a lot of cutbacks but if she came over and stayed with me for a while would there be help available to her? I cannot support her indefinitely but I can provide temporary housing and food. Thank you to anyone who can advise, we are pretty desperate.

OP posts:
floraloctopus · 12/05/2019 07:46

What does your sister want to do? It's a difficult one as moving to a foreign country could damage her mental health but her current situation isn't helping either. What would happen when you couldn't provide housing and food any more?

Catslovepies · 12/05/2019 07:48

She wants to come over but is scared...of leaving what little stability she has and her few remaining friends. What she really wants is for our dad to keep supporting her but he can't- the stress is literally killing him (he has started having strokes).

OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 12/05/2019 07:49

She would find it incredibly difficult in the UK, she would need to go through all manner of horrendous assessments.
Despite what the daily mail has you believe it’s not easy to get a large sum of money through the benefit system, and housing stock is SO low that could be tricky too

Blindandfrozen · 12/05/2019 07:50

You’ll end up supporting her, probably for some time if she is waiting for council housing. if you’re happy with that, go ahead

IceRebel · 12/05/2019 07:51

She could get treatment, a small council flat (in the northwest near me), benefits, and support to return to work - couldn't she?

I an ideal world yes, however in reality I very much doubt she will get any of these things, other than minimal benefits.

ShinyMe · 12/05/2019 07:53

Depending on how long she's been out of the country, she may also not be entitled to anything at all beyond the standard NHS support (which may be 6-12 week minimum wait for assessment towards possible 1 hr per week for 6 weeks counselling/CBT).

MaxNormal · 12/05/2019 07:53

She might well get them. A friend had a breakdown while working abroad and now has a little flat, benefits to live on and medical care.

SimonJT · 12/05/2019 07:54

If she moves to the UK she will have to pay 150% of the cost of any medical treatment in advance of recieving it, are you able to fund it on her behalf?

She also has to be living in the UK for long enough to be considered a permanent resident again to gain benefits, housing etc. So would need a great deal of financial support from you.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 12/05/2019 07:55

I think she would be much safer in the uk. However the set up you dream of would take time to achieve. How much money does she/DF have to tide her over? Could she do some training/study for a year or two till she is in the system. I’m sorry it’s so hard for you all.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 12/05/2019 07:56

Considering how many people with mental illness are living on the streets, in shelters, etc and the severe lack of social housing nationally, I doubt she'd get given a council flat on return to the UK (or for a considerable time) to be honest.

soccerbabe · 12/05/2019 07:59

in terms of NHS treatment, she might have difficulties accessing free treatment until she has been back in the UK 12 months (compulsory psychiatric care excepted), as the NHS applies an ordinarily resident in the UK test for treatment

a hospital info page picked at random www.uhcw.nhs.uk/caring-for-you/help-and-support/hospital-treatment-for-overseas-visitors/

in theory you can be deemed ordinarily resident straight away after moving back here, but in practice if you have lived here less than 12 months, you could face some tricky questions

lasttimeround · 12/05/2019 08:00

I suspect shell be better off than in the US eventually. But, depending on how long shes been outside of the UK, she may not qualify for benefits, housing or free healthcare as shes not habitually resident.

teachingiswank · 12/05/2019 08:01

Although nationally there's a shortage of social housing there is actually quite a lot in the NW.

However it isn't very nice.

I don't really know about benefits.

I do think she'd be better in the UK.

stucknoue · 12/05/2019 08:03

For at least the first year she will not get non emergency healthcare and if she hasn't paid ni her access to benefits will be restricted, contrary to what's written in newspapers, you can't turn up in the U.K. even with a British passport and get support

Ladymargarethall · 12/05/2019 08:06

I seem to remember horror stories of British citizens returning from Spain and having no entitlement to Benefits for 6 months. These were people who had grown up here, gone to live in Spain as adults and then returned. I suspect your sister might fall into the same category.
You should be able to find out from the Citizens Advice website.

stucknoue · 12/05/2019 08:08

Her best bet is to move in with you and try to hold down a part time job, enough to pay some ni contributions to reestablish her residency, with less stress being with you this I Hope is possible because otherwise she could find herself with only you for support

FrancisCrawford · 12/05/2019 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheoriginalLEM · 12/05/2019 08:09

Could she come and live with you?

ThriftyMcThrifty · 12/05/2019 08:14

She’ll be better off in the UK. We are also joint us/UK citizens and currently in the us. However we have great health insurance through my work, we’d move back straight away if I lost my job. We plan to move back next year anyway to be close to relatives, and have looked into nhs care. As long as we can show we are making the UK our permanent home (which we will be) we were told that we and our US born kids will be covered.

LakieLady · 12/05/2019 08:15

To be entitled to any benefits, she'd need to have a right to reside and pass something called the "habitual residence test".

She won't have any problems with establishing her right to reside, but the habitual residence test for British citizens returning from living abroad is that they have to have been in the UK for at least a continuous period of 13 weeks before they can claim.

For some benefits (eg, PIP) she wouldn't be eligible until she's been living in the UK for 2 years.

Basically, you'd have to house her and keep her for at least 4-5 months before she got anhy money of her own.

If that's not an issue, I agree she'd be better off here.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 12/05/2019 08:16

She’s NOT an overseas visitor though is she? She’s a British resident.

clutterqu33n · 12/05/2019 08:19

AIBU to think that she would be better off in the UK. she could get treatment, a small council flat (in the northwest near me), benefits, and support to return to work - couldn't she?

no, no, no.

I can only assume you do not read the news nor do you know anyone in the UK who is personally affected by a MH condition which impacts on their ability to work and forces them to rely you some extend on the state.

I would avoid the UK like the plague.

I have a DD with MH and learning difficulties and the system is deliberately stacked against anyone with these set of difficulties. Don't get her over. You will regret it.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 12/05/2019 08:20

So it looks like two years or so to be settled? I think she should study, if she’s able, or it will be dead time. She’s extremely fortunate to be a British citizen as life in the us in her situation will be very very challenging.

clutterqu33n · 12/05/2019 08:22

good point about PIP etc as well. Citizenship doesn't mean you can apply. you have to be resident here for at least 2 years even as a Brit of you have lived alone.

Not sure if there are similar restrictions on other benefits. but if you get her over, you should expect to house and support her for a couple of years.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 12/05/2019 08:22

She’s not a resident though. Citizenship and residency are different things. You really need to check, she might not be entitled to anything until she establishes residency.

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