To be annoyed with DH for not walking away?

[pinkelephantsanddietcoke]

Just home from a night out with DH and his work colleagues. In one of the bars DH started speaking to a woman I didn't recognise (no big deal), I'm standing chatting to his boss and his wife and the young admin girl from his office. The next thing this woman tries to full on snog DH! He's trying his best to avoid her but still continues to chat away to her. I'm standing casually looking over thing 'WTF?'. So she's going in for the snog, he's ducking and diving but still chatting....
she then says to his (female) boss, 'don't worry I'm not trying it in with your husband'. She says, 'he's not my husband but you're a knob'.
DH then comes over to me like he's glad to escape and can't work out why I'm a bit peeved. He spoke to her for about half an hour (despite the snog attempt). He then gets annoyed with me for being off with him...., then the young admin girl tells my DH that he was really in the wrong and should've walked away as soon as she was trying to snog him. He was then very apologetic.
AIBU to think he's only apologetic because his work friends called him out? He originally told me I was overreacting.
PS. I'm aware I'm ranting. He's a dick isn't he?
Thanks in advance for your input.

Yes he's a dick. The fact that somebody else told him he was in the wrong is probably a good thing though. Makes em think more. I'm just back from a night out. My fairly new other half had a go at a friend. I'm a bit peeved. He was only saying what everyone else was thinking as this friend was and is very very very annoying and quite disgusting when drunk and was ruining the night but I wish he'd just held it in and not caused drama xx

Yanbu. Just.

He is still the victim of a mild sexual harassment here. And while he should have walked away it's hard to know how we'd react when put in such a horrible position.

Yes I agree! Just annoying that me being angry isn't enough, took someone he works with to confirm that he was in the wrong. Been together 14 years and he still can't 'sense the look'

@jameswong he didn't feel awkward or anything. He just likes to chat to people. It was an ex girlfriend of an old flat mate of his. He was still asking her stuff about her life as she was diving in. If it wasn't so annoying it would be comical. He was almost dancing to try and avoid her snog! She was very very drunk BTW.

YABU and verging on slightly ridiculous.

@Myworstnightmare123 maybe so. That's why I'm asking. Not normally jealous at all. Just felt he should've walked away.

I don't think YABU. I would hope my OH would walk away in such situation. In face I saw him saying 'I'll wait for...' at a bar once and I was because the barmaid was being overly friendly during the previous round.

Yeah I'd be annoyed he didn't walk away. However he didn't do anything. I'd be pissed, but not at the same level as if he'd cheated or anything. I honestly think some people are completely clueless at what to do in situations like that!

But I do like the back up you got from the women in his office!

Yeah I'm not overly mad. He's snoring on the sofa now. I won't pick a fight about it. Just feel a bit 'meh'. And yes the girls from his office are awesome!

He responded to her advances by not kissing her and trying to talk. He sounds like he was drunk and trying to not make a scene to not embarrass her. He sounds like a good bloke, he didn’t cheat or come close to it

So someone tries it on with your dh, he declines, yet you are pissed at HIM?

I don't see what he did wrong. He stayed to talk because he felt awkward, maybe? Too polite to walk off? Don't many women feel this all the time?

If the roles were reversed and your male colleague did this to you, there would be plenty of abuse for him, and sympathy for you. To suggest you should have walked away from a potential assault is victim blaming. But because your dh didn't (couldn't;t?) he is a dick?

*couldn't

@differentnameforthis I didn't even think of it as a potential assault and my DH definitely didn't. He laughed it off. Is someone trying to kiss you an assault?

Of course he should have walked off. Not doing so was where he went wrong.

It is good that the girls from his office had the measure of what was going on and pulled him up on it. It clearly made him think that he just might have been a twat. I hope you also chimed in with them and didn't just let it go outwardly.

I don't mean he did anything wrong. But next time it might be more helpful if he just disengaged and walked away. You've nothing to worry about x

@rededucator yeah that's all it needed really. Just for him to say, 'nice to see you, better get back to my wife/work colleagues ' and end it there.

Sounds like you e a good (though maybe a little clueless) 'un though pink so please don't upset yourself unnecessarily x

Why didn’t you step in and introduce yourself to help him out?

If he was a woman who had had some guy pounce on her face we’d not be calling him a dick! He was assaulted here. He did nothing wrong.

If your partner posted on here that he was pissed off because a bloke had gone into kiss you and it was your fault for not walking away sooner he'd be rightly lynched and accused of 'victim blaming'

You're honestly angry at the wrong person. He didn't do anything wrong at all.

He really honestly was not assaulted. At all.

@pinkelephantsanddietcoke Like Ive said before why didn’t you simply step in and say hello

Is someone trying to kiss you an assault?

If you don’t want them to and they repeatedly try it on, they are at least attempting to, even if they aren’t being successful.

Agree with posters that say if this was a woman it would be a different tune, they might be advising police involvement.

Honestly he made have laughed it off but He was assaulted. I think he handled it very well. eepeically as he knew her, he might have felt mixed up not wanting to embarrass her but feeling violated. Using humour is often a defense.

You’re lucky to have a man like him, appreciate him, lot of husbands on here would cheat on their lunch break. Some do you’ve got a good egg.

@pinkelephantsanddietcoke

His convivial reaction isn't really relevant IMO. Someone attempted to touch him intimately without his permission. It's harassment. The fact she was drunk is no excuse. Like I said, yeah ideally he could have dealt with it better, but he might have been flummoxed and confused. Hindsight is 2020.

I remember years ago an elderly woman grabbed my behind when I was waiting for the bus. I was about 23 at the time. My girlfriend thought it was hilarious and I just laughed it off at the time outwardly, but inwardly I was definitely a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable about it.