To move because of constant noise?

[strappedsundae]

And other things. A few years ago DH and I bought a run down house cheap at auction. We worked through every annual leave break and bank holiday and weekends to turn it into a home worth living in. We sold at a profit and sunk the whole £40,000 profit as a deposit (a hell of a lot in my neck of the woods) into a a beautifully done, extended 3 bed semi in DH hometown. We had recently just started our family, and wanted our 'forever' family home.

Our house is absolutely wonderful. Hardwood floors, marble fireplace, two reception rooms, two baths. Plenty of space for DC to play and a nice vibe. It's pretty much top of our monthly budget mortgage wise.

A few months after we moved in the next door neighbour (attached) sadly died. He was a quiet man, so we were not aware of how thin the walls were.

We also moved in winter. As summer approached last year, our street and the street that backs onto our garden went absolutely crazy. I mean full on belting raves in gardens, constant parties with people screaming and smashing glasses, someone even had a "festival" in their back garden with a professional singer and sound equipment. I'm not joking you could hear it for miles.

The next door neighbours on the other side had loud parties in their back garden, and unfortunately they all sit right underneath my child's bedroom window. I was in his room one night and it sounded like a night club toilet. Could hear people laughing and the thudding of music. I tried to shrug it off as a one off but it carried on all summer long. Every Friday Saturday and Sunday night. We have french doors in the back and could rarely have them open through the summer, because we wouldn't be able to hear the tv.
I began watching the weather forecast and praying for rain, because it would mean some peace and quiet. Madness.

A few weeks ago the house next door became occupied. They have children and I exepected to hear them. But they actually wake us up
The mum screams all day long and the kids scream back, and currently one of them is drilling on our side of the wall and it's nearly 9pm. It's disturbing our DC.
The other side is currently having another garden party, again under DC window. The house that backs on to us are also making a lot of noise, it's just coming at us from every angle.

I dont know how much of this is normal, what is generally expected in suburban communities and what's out of order. I seem to have completely lost my perspective on this and I'm consumed by the thoughts of what our neighbours will be doing if it's a sunny weekend then dreading it all week.

I stayed at work an extra hour on a Friday because I just didn't want to come home. So I sort of think I need to sort my self out somehow.

Also, the area hasn't turned out to be what I hoped. Our car has been keyed already (as well as all the cars down the street) by local youths I believe. There seems to be a lot of petty crime and theft.

My thoughts are what is the point of having our lovely family home if I don't want to spend any time there because it's just not peaceful? We don't go out at night as we have young DC and this is it for us. But then I can't really move as money is tight and there's no guaranteeing this won't happen elsewhere.

If you got to the end of this thank you. I just don't know how to handle this anxiety anymore

It wasn't noise related but we bought a mistake house and I felt exactly like you do. It was so awful we only stayed two years, lost money and moved to a rented house. But when I walked up the path and put the key in the lock of that house I felt happy and safe and pleased to be there. It look a long time to find another house but we eventually did and we're all much happier. Good luck.

And that’s the problem.

We had a dreadful noisy neighbour who lived opposite. His music was so loud that you could hear it at the back of my house with all the doors shut.

We had decided to move already but decided against doing anything about him because if we did we’d have to declare it.

That doesn't sound normal to me for a suburban area. I'm on a big new build estate full of young families and it's quiet and peaceful.

Maybe a new build may be an option for you - you can do a part exchange a lot of the time and family homes tend to be occupied by families. Part exchanging often means you don't get the best deal but it is no hassle and quick. Defiantly look for detached though. Small detached over large semi after this experience...

Likely there will be always noise wherever you live - however family type noise will probably be tolerable as it is the same lifestyle you are leading ifswim.

Good luck in moving forward.

If you do decide to sell up, make sure you go on the market in winter!(to avoid having viewings when neighbours are having festivals...)
Though I suppose you could argue that is morally dubious..🤷🏻‍♀️

Truly I’d move. It sounds like torture. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not the age of the house but the layout that makes a big difference. My friend lives in a solid Edwardian semi. When their neighbour plays the piano, it sounds like it’s in the next room. It’s nowhere near as quiet as you’d expect. My DD lives in a relatively new build town house. Their neighbours have 4 kids (two teens) and the only sound you can hear is occasionally people walking up the stairs. DD has 2 kids (one very wakeful baby) and the neighbours assure her that they can’t hear any crying or any of the older ones tantrums or very noisy play. If thought has been put into what rooms/areas are attached then a semi or terrace can be quiet. Obviously that doesn’t mean you’re safe as you still have garden and street noise to consider but it’s worth looking for something that ‘joins up’ well.

We put our semi on the market 2 weeks after our new noisy neighbours moved in, I was dreading going home from work every night (tbf there were no midnight parties or anything they just didn't seem to know the meaning of the word quiet!). We moved towns to be able to afford a detached, and although we are on a new estate with houses all around us we haven't had any of what you describe, sounds like you've been incredibly unlucky with your neighbours. If you can afford it, id move!

I have spoken with my DH and although he is reluctant to move, it's getting to be too much to live with.

This morning at about 6.30am the kids were screaming and playing so the mum stared screaming at them both to shut up over and over, then the kids screamed back. It woke us up, and my usually calm level headed DH banged on the wall with such ferocity, telling them to shut the fuck up, that it woke our own dc!

This isn't how we are as a family, we are calm and quiet and that's just how we roll. So to see my DH 'lose it' a bit was sad.

Basically, we aren't in a financial position to sell right now, maybe next year when I have returned to work from mat leave, but does anyone have any ideas of how to get a little bit of extra income?
Should I start a thread in the money section instead?
I've heard of people doing surveys but not sure how this works or if it is worth it?

I guess there are 2 options.. Move or wait it out.

The dynamic in the street will change over time as the people throwing parties grow up and gain responsibilities. The children next door will be older in no time, but you are talking about at least 5 years. Can you hang on through 5 summers?

You can ask them not to hammer after 7 because the children go to bed, or come to some timetable where they crack on for a week and then cease after dark.

Can you insulate the party wall?

What has worked for me with noisy, shouty neighbours was finally losing it one day and shouting back at them (It wasn't my finest hour) "for God's sake jimmy, put your bloody shoes on" or equivalent. I think they had a blinding moment of clarity realising that they were playing their lives out on a world stage and it went much quieter after that.

1. Move as soon as you’re able. Life is too short to be stressed like this.

1. Mat leave really intensifies this type of problem - and I speak from current, personal experience. Sleep deprivation makes it 100 times worse and the house can feel like a prison all day.

1. Annoying as it is, noise is part and parcel of suburban living. For example - if you spent, as you say, ‘every annual leave break and bank holiday and weekends to turn it into a home worth living in’ then you also personally made noise every single weekend and bank holiday - as is your right - (though I hope you didn’t do anything on bank holiday Mondays). Our neighbours have been renovating their house over the course of weekends for two years now, and the noise of the work has had me in tears on several occasions. Laying a hardwood floor next door was a weekend of hell for me and my baby. But I have had to come to terms with it - it’s how it is.

You either find a way to make peace with it as other posters are suggesting or you move to the country - which also brings with it a ton of its own issues (accessibility, feeling isolated on mat etc).