To move because of constant noise?

[strappedsundae]

And other things. A few years ago DH and I bought a run down house cheap at auction. We worked through every annual leave break and bank holiday and weekends to turn it into a home worth living in. We sold at a profit and sunk the whole £40,000 profit as a deposit (a hell of a lot in my neck of the woods) into a a beautifully done, extended 3 bed semi in DH hometown. We had recently just started our family, and wanted our 'forever' family home.

Our house is absolutely wonderful. Hardwood floors, marble fireplace, two reception rooms, two baths. Plenty of space for DC to play and a nice vibe. It's pretty much top of our monthly budget mortgage wise.

A few months after we moved in the next door neighbour (attached) sadly died. He was a quiet man, so we were not aware of how thin the walls were.

We also moved in winter. As summer approached last year, our street and the street that backs onto our garden went absolutely crazy. I mean full on belting raves in gardens, constant parties with people screaming and smashing glasses, someone even had a "festival" in their back garden with a professional singer and sound equipment. I'm not joking you could hear it for miles.

The next door neighbours on the other side had loud parties in their back garden, and unfortunately they all sit right underneath my child's bedroom window. I was in his room one night and it sounded like a night club toilet. Could hear people laughing and the thudding of music. I tried to shrug it off as a one off but it carried on all summer long. Every Friday Saturday and Sunday night. We have french doors in the back and could rarely have them open through the summer, because we wouldn't be able to hear the tv.
I began watching the weather forecast and praying for rain, because it would mean some peace and quiet. Madness.

A few weeks ago the house next door became occupied. They have children and I exepected to hear them. But they actually wake us up
The mum screams all day long and the kids scream back, and currently one of them is drilling on our side of the wall and it's nearly 9pm. It's disturbing our DC.
The other side is currently having another garden party, again under DC window. The house that backs on to us are also making a lot of noise, it's just coming at us from every angle.

I dont know how much of this is normal, what is generally expected in suburban communities and what's out of order. I seem to have completely lost my perspective on this and I'm consumed by the thoughts of what our neighbours will be doing if it's a sunny weekend then dreading it all week.

I stayed at work an extra hour on a Friday because I just didn't want to come home. So I sort of think I need to sort my self out somehow.

Also, the area hasn't turned out to be what I hoped. Our car has been keyed already (as well as all the cars down the street) by local youths I believe. There seems to be a lot of petty crime and theft.

My thoughts are what is the point of having our lovely family home if I don't want to spend any time there because it's just not peaceful? We don't go out at night as we have young DC and this is it for us. But then I can't really move as money is tight and there's no guaranteeing this won't happen elsewhere.

If you got to the end of this thank you. I just don't know how to handle this anxiety anymore

OP I feel so bad for you and I know how the countdown to noise totally consumes your thoughts and you end up dreading the weekend. I'm in a similar situation with a local business, I find my self trawling their social media to see what they've got planned.

You are allowed to phone the police you know, here's a link that I've found useful www.gov.uk/report-noise-pollution-to-council

That noise is illegal after 11pm, which may be small comfort when it happens all the time, but all I can say is complain, complain, complain, to absolutely everybody you can. Contact police, local councillors, environmental health, everyone!!

Oh good point @breakfastpizza
Op if you make the decision to move then don't start complaining yet!

DH are trying to move right now. We started staying out later, we'd go out for the whole day etc but now mentally I cannot cope with being here any longer.
Half the problem is shitty construction of the new build in which we live, as you hear everything, and I mean absolutely everything! Also it's the inconsiderate behaviour of people as you're experiencing. They know you have a baby and it was causing a disturbance but carried on anyway.
It's a shame to be in this position, your house sounds lovely OP, but you should be able to relax and be happy in your own home. We cannot wait to move.

Complaining about noise and a neighbour disputes are totally different -

Move. But.....

We were in a similar situation and thought all our issues would be solved with a detached. We moved 4 streets away to the edge of the area and breathed a sigh of relief. We researched. One side was a couple with kids our DC age and the other were a ‘naice’ couple who worked away a lot. To the back was a retired single lady.

We moved in and within a month regretted it. Double glazing, shut, doesn’t drown out the incessant yapping of the NDN dogs on 3 sides which was not apparent on multiple viewings. Nor was the single lad living alone opposite who likes to party from 2am-10am regularly. Or the NDN who has a DC with a massively noisy saxophone hobby. Or the man who likes to pee up our wall as he walks home from the pub. He’s only hurled in the gutter a couple of times, so that’s a positive . We also have zero peaceful garden time due to a neighbour who likes to listen to audiobooks in his garden, loudly, on a speaker for 6+ hours on every single dry day.

So basically we spent £8k moving for no gain at all.

Do your research very carefully. Detached does not mean guaranteed quiet.

Oh jeez - noise, NOISE! Why is it so bloody invasive and soul destroying?

Despite having lovely, quiet, respectful neighbours, we back on to a park and often the noise of screeching teens and their shit music sends me insane. I completely relate to everything you mention / checking weather, praying for rain etc.

I'm hoping, as rosawaiting, has pointed out, that last summer was an anomaly (I became so tense I couldn't even sleep on quiet nights as I was lying awake waiting for the noise to start).

In the meantime, however, I've done various things to help myself.

Firstly my mantra is 'don't get annoyed until it's annoying' i.e. if I hear the noise at 6pm then so what? I can play my own music / go to a different room / go out etc. The only time it actually effects my life is when I'm trying to go to sleep so I don't allow myself to get annoyed with it until after 10pm.

Secondly, I've invested in noise cancelling headphones and a dyson fan so I don't have to open the windows or even when I do I can't hear it.

Third and finally, direct approach. Politely, reasonably. Even unruly teens seem to (reluctantly) respond to a polite and direct request to stop the noise when it's pointed out to them just how bloody annoying it is.

I'm watching this thread with interest though as tbh, despite noise from the park being more anonymous and varied (so possibly harder to control) I often console myself that at least it's not my neighbours making noise as I'd find it so much harder to be pissed off with them. I'm happy to shout over the garden fence at strangers but his can you do that to Brian from next door who feeds your cat when you're on holiday?

I agree with the PP upthread that said it's actually an advantage to live in a flat sometimes as at least you have someone to complain to! Plus living in a flat people do basically tend to be a bit more considerate as they know they can be heard.

Having your own house seems to basically mean you can do what you want.

Friends have just moved because of noise in their terraced house.

Could you buy an older house with better walls in another part of town. To check out an area I think you need to take a few trips around it on a Friday or Saturday night.

But put your house up for sale asap.

I lived in terraced houses for years including all through my childhood and always had to deal with other people's noise. It left me with a deep rooted hatred of neighbours in general.

We now live in a detached house and it's just so lovely. Yes it costs us a lot but it's worth every penny. Our house is surrounded by nice, respectful people. Yes there has been the odd party and noise coming from neighbouring gardens late at night, but I could count the number of times it's happened on one hand, over 7 years, which is absolutely fine.

In your position, I would have left months ago. Nothing is worth this, I'd rather rent than live in this hellish situation.

we had a similar situation years ago in a flat in London. It seriously and permanently affected (especially) my husband's mental health to the point where he walked the streets all day and put in ear plugs as he approached the flat. This was many years ago and since then we have bought our own house, and moved once. We have to have detached houses, although of course this comes at a cost but I am ok with it, we have accepted that we need this so that we can enjoy our home. Do what you need to do OP.

I'd move definitely! Just don't move near a uni cos it will be much of the same!

Oh OP I know exactly how you feel. We lived in a tiny quiet hamlet which had a hidden away little known beauty spot. It became known via Trip Advisor and became hell to live in. Hundreds of noisy tourists everywhere, destroying the environment and the constant drone of cars where previously hardly anyone passed by. Like you I checked the weather forecast obsessively, hoping for rain. I became anxious every weekend and it began to rule my life.

We moved and I can't tell you how much happier I am. Really, it's the only solution and I promise you won't regret it. Unless you've been in this situation, I think it's impossible to understand how stressful it is. All the best.

Move.

Even if you sound proofed your house or had the worlds quietest person living next door then all the other neighbours sound like a nightmare.

My attached neighbours garden is completely overgrown, due to the layout of my house you can see it clearly from my living room window. People often comment about what an eyesore it is but I respond that I’d sooner that than they actually used it!

i know how you feel OP. in our last home, we ploughed thousands into making it nice. It was all okay until the family from hell moved in. Both mine and dh’s cars were constantly damaged. The next door neighbour was absolutely lazy and let her very young dc play in their room until they passed out. The walls were like paper. My eldest ds slept in his own room about 8 times in the 16 months we lived there because of the screaming and throwing things at the wall till after midnight. I had to buy bunks and put him in with his brother. As well as that, the kid across the street would glare into my window all night. I was too scared to close the curtains in case the cars were damaged and he knew this. I’d sit in the pitch black, like you, praying for rain so the kids wouldn’t come out and destroy things. I had bags of dog poo thrown at my windows, my dc would get hit every time they went out. I spent the whole time I lived in that street living on my nerves. We were all miserable. So we moved and we’ve been here a year and a half and the difference is unreal. I can close the blinds and not worry about my car, nobody looks in my windows and I enjoy my home now. Ds has slept in his own room every night too. If it makes you feel like it’s definitely time to move. I hope you get some peace

I’d move too!

But just be warned that buying a detached house isn’t necessarily going to give you any quiet time in your garden, as your neighbours will be enjoying theirs. Same goes if you leave your windows open.

Only way to guarantee peace is to buy a a large plot with a house in the middle.

People are so fucking loud in general I find. Ten times worse when the weather is good. I feel for you - it's like you can't get peace anymore anywhere even in your own bloody house.

I’m shuddering reading this. I live in a quiet street and I don’t think that will change but I’m currently in a semi attached to a lovely lady who is silent. However she is quite elderly and when the time comes the house will inevitably be bought by a family and be extended as all houses are around here.
I’m so aware it’s pot luck and I could end up with your scenario so I just enjoy it while I can, the thought of having to move house because of peoples selfish noise is ridiculous but it’s the age we live in.
Finally my DC are 20 and 22 so I’m not that ancient but what is it with kids these days who literally scream, as you would if being attacked, when playing outside and nobody tells them to stop it at once ?

What area do you love in? Sounds horrendous. Move as quickly as possible.

I told my DH last night that he needed to have a serious think about what we are gonna do. At about 9.30pm next door (attached) we're still hammering and the kids still screaming. The new baby's room is the one on their side, and you can hear everything in there.
It makes me feel so sad, I can imagine the baby being woke by them for years and likewise they would be woken by the baby and might get hostile.

It's a shame to see some stories here of horrible neighbours, feel sorry for everyone, it's all consuming when it's your own home.

This morning, I was up at 6.30am and so was DC. Unusual as he usually sleeps till about 7.30am. I was in the toilet on the opposite side of my house and I could hear the kids scream from there, at that hour. What are they screaming about! Why is no one telling them not too? I know I would mine, because I don't want to listen to it, let alone anyone else?

DH and I don't earn a great deal as we both went part time to spend time with DC whilst they are young, and in our area, this is the best we can get for our money. I'm not sure I could live like this though. As some others have said it's sheer luck wether or not this happens again.

I can only think that we start saving and continuing to do up (just update decor) the house to add a bit of value and know that I can move at some point.

I love in the North west of England, 2 towns over from DH and I place of work. We commute in (about 40 mins each way) because the town where we work is expensive to live in a good area, same with the town in between here, so we came here to get better value for money, instead I've completely lost my marbles.

The house was built in the 1920's and has thick sturdy walls and high ceilings, if that gives an idea of how loud next door are.

I've considered anti anxiety medication and the only thing that's stopping me is that I'm pregnant. I'm not sure that's normal

Have you reported the noise to the Council?

That's what I did when I had noisy neighbours. Took a few months but finally the environmental health guys came out and heard them screaming, shouting and loud music and at 3am and sent them a letter saying another incident like that and they'd be heavily fined. Landlord chucked them out almost immediately.

I do feel for you. It is awful having to live next to arseholes like that.

I hate noise and luckily have very quiet neighbours. In your position I think you should move if you can to a more isolated house, perhaps much smaller but down a country lane with no one around. Or if it would help soundproof where you are but that sounds difficult to do.

It sounds like it could be hard for you to move as it would be expensive and you have sunk a lot into this house. Complaining to the neighbours and the council is probably not going to solve all this as there are so many neighbours doing it.
Cheapest partial solutions are head phones and I use wax ear plugs from boots when needed.

You've got to move. Everyone's tolerance is different and I doubt you can fix this. You just need to find somewhere completely different. I suspect once you've made the decision and start looking your anxiety might improve as you feel more in control. It's the lack of it that is so awful. You have the right to peace and quiet. I don't blame you at all it sounds awful. We live in a quiet village and i love the peace and quiet. It's so important. Is there a Facebook group for the place you live where you can name and Shane/complain? That tends to work!

Sell up and go.

We bought the most amazing beautiful house but the neighbours were crazy. We moved away last year and I have noticed regrow in my hair along my forehead- I actually have a fringe!! Clearly the stress of living next to crazy neighbours had made my hair fall out.

@VanillaSugarr that's awful! Sounds the way I'm going though.

I haven't complained to the council no. I called the police last year twice about neighbours over the back when they had their 'festivals' (oh yes it happened twice) but I'm wary of doing it with next door both ways because we might sell.