AIBU to not remember my parents wedding anniversary?

[nuttyfruitcake]

Every year my mum makes a big thing about telling me it's their wedding anniversary. Which I obviously don't have on my radar. They usually go out somewhere, which is nice. I get the impression she wants a card from us and a big fanfare, but I just don't think it's something that needs my input. She tends say you seem to have forgotten, but it's our wedding anniversary tomorrow.

My parents were married a long time ( 10 years ) before having me and brother. They argue constantly and moan about each other, and I would say they are both quite miserable.

For context I'm not married, but have been married in the past. They never sent me a wedding anniversary card or even mentioned it. And I wouldn't have expected it at all. (And yes they did like my husband and didn't want us to spilt.)

If she didn’t celebrate yours then remind her of this.

You don’t get extra anniversary points because children were conceived within a marriage.

Laugh it off. Say something inappropriate like “ errgh no way am I sending a card to celebrate you still wanting to shag dad .” ( which she probably isn’t by the sound of it). There’s no come back to that without a giggle.

I've always bought parents a card from the moment I had my own money albeit pocket money or wages.

I'm finding strange others don't tbh

So you send anniversary cards when couples hit milestone occasion. To recognise it’s hard living with someone but also as a “ be grateful the other person isn’t dead”, It’s a count your blessings time card.

If your family doesn’t send them fine. I don’t think you need to send one just because you are their offspring. That’s Christmas and Mother’s Day.

Well, my Mum and Dad's was easy to remember, but that's because we completely co-incidently got married on the same date

Generally though, I don't remember people's anniversaries.

However, as it seems to mean a lot to your Mum, and, if that's the worst she nags you about, I think I'd be inclined to stick a card in the post for her. Big win for little effort.

I don't acknowledge my parents anniversary. I know it's in August or September but couldn't tell you the date. They didn't get along well when I was growing up and didn't celebrate it themselves. However they now enjoy each other's company and my mum would probably like cards, gifts etc. She enjoys being fussed over. I don't bother though. I got married 5yrs ago and found it weird that my parents and MIL sent us a card, told them not to bother. I think it's weird to celebrate other people's marriages, should be a personal thing between the couple. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Ffs just buy them a 50p card and say Happy Anniversary! Why be a twat about it?!

I have absolutely no idea when my parents anniversary is. Hell, I can't remember when mine is. Passes me by ...

I think it's weird to celebrate other people's marriages, should be a personal thing between the couple.

unless you did invite these people to your wedding, and it's a nice gesture that they remember and mark the occasion.

I couldn't really tell you when my parents is. DH has no idea when his parents is either. But then he doesn't remember any of his family's birthdays etc either.

I don't expect anything from any one for ours. I remember my sister's because it was on a significant birthday. But usually I just send a happy anniversary text. Wouldn't bother with a card.

Personally I think wedding anniversaries are just between the couple. Maybe different for a significant anniversary eg: 25th, 40th, 50th, but otherwise I wouldn't bother.

Funnily enough PamelaX I eloped. 😂 No engagement, got married on a Tuesday, both wearing jeans, ceremony took 4mins. Strangers as witnesses. Went to the pub after! 😂

I don’t even remember my own anniversary so it seems unlikely I’ll ever remember anyone else’s!
I don’t know why people expect everyone else to celebrate an anniversary- seems like an odd concept to me

I always sent my parents an anniversary card when they were married.

Now I send one to my mum and her current husband. I don't think either of them expect it.

I make a point of remembering my parents anniversary. My dad died 41 years ago but mom is still alive at 90. It means a lot to her that such a happy and important day in her life is mentioned.

I don’t send a card but I always share some memories with her on that date and I have sent flowers on significant anniversaries.

I do the same on dads birthday and the anniversary of his death which is also my late brothers birthday.

I barely remember my own wedding anniversary and the one and only year I posted about it on facebook I got the number of years wrong! Anyone elses anniversary just isn't on my radar.

I find this thread and all the 'no one should be expected to remember anyone else's anniversary' replies really surprising. They're her parents, not just total randomers. The parents' relationship/marriage is sort of the reason the family exists, so I'd have thought it was something to celebrate?

I sent my parents flowers on their anniversary most years since I became an adult. My dad died last year so don't know how my mum will want to make it this year.

I never expect anyone other than DH and me to remember our anniversary, and we’ve been married for 16 years now. My MIL always remembers and sends us a card and one friend sends separate text messages to DH and me every year. Other than that, I write a post on Facebook and it’s nice to get good wishes from friends, but I would never expect them to remember or send us a card.

I don’t know of anyone who particularly cares about receiving anniversary cards tbh. I always think of it as being like Valentine’s Day, with couples sending each other cards.

OTOH, it clearly is important to your mum, so I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just buy her a card and send it to her; it’s not exactly hard. It might seem odd, as your parents don’t appear to get on, but maybe it’s a case of her looking back to the past, to happier times for herself and your DF. Does he mention the anniversary or is it purely your mum who cares about it?

I find this thread and all the 'no one should be expected to remember anyone else's anniversary' replies really surprising. They're her parents, not just total randomers. The parents' relationship/marriage is sort of the reason the family exists, so I'd have thought it was something to celebrate?

Exactly. It’s not like it’s any more difficult than remembering a birthday.

It was my parents 30th last year and mum kept on mentioning that it was coming up but they'd be abroad for it. Before they went away she said " remember to put a big facebook post up for it, I'll send you a couple of my weddings pics I really like". I refused and she got all huffy.

While they were away I left a card and present for them (a really nice one) and text her on the day but she was upset in wouldn't post about it online and disappointed I hadn't organised her a meal 🙄

Ridiculous. I barely celebrate my own (just a nice tea made for DH) and I really CBA to celebrate someone else's

My parents did not have the best of marriages either, never sent a card but they didn't really celebrate it either, we did organise a 25th and 50th anniversary party though.

My parents didn't acknowledge my anniversary either when I was married.

That said if they want to people to celebrate it, I don't really see the harm. Ex in-laws always used to invite the family out for a meal etc on their anniversary and I didn't mind. Its not that hard to send a card.

I can't even remember the date of my wedding.

YANBU. My parents are like this and get really pissed off about it. But they also expect a card for every scenario so I'd literally be buying cards every month.

I've asked them to stop buying me anniversary cards and the other random ones because it's unnecessary and a waste of paper. I think it's weird to send them unless it's your other half!

SIL got married with only her parents present, didn't even invite DH and MIL messaged me a week before their first anniversary asking me to send a card. Erm, nope.

I've never known the date of my parents anniversary, but if it was important to them, I'd put the date in my phone calender and set it to send me a reminder the day before. It's a pretty cheap and easy way to make them happy. Not like they are asking you to paint their house or buy them a round the world holiday.

I always think I wasn’t there so why would I?

So you wouldn't dream of giving your parents, grandparents or older siblings birthday cards, then?

Did/do your parents ever give you birthday cards? I mean, you were technically there, but you didn't know or care about it at the time, so why would it mean anything to you now?

I remember my parent's wedding anniversary because it was the date of my first school swimming lesson (they'd been married many years by then but that is why the date has stuck). We're a card sending family so I'll send them one, they send us, one, my Gran will send us one etc