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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get a cat when we have a 1 yr old and both work?

77 replies

BunsOfAnarchy · 11/05/2019 11:20

I have wanted a family pet for years and DH has finally agreed to a cat, more so because where we live (close proximity to green belt and acres and acres of fields), we have now found we have small beautiful field mice visiting our house and leaving presents for us. I dont wanna be using and rat/mouse killer as im uncomfortable in the use of poisons especially with a 1 year old in the house.

As a good a reason as any right?!

My issue is i would love a cat, but im not sure if its a good idea now.
DH leaves the house at 5am and is home for lunch for 2 hours in the afternoon till 3 then is back out till 6.
Im out of the house 6:30am till 4pm.
We also have a 1 year old.

I know a kitten is out of the question as we would NEED to be around during the early weeks as much as possible so we would rather a larger cat anyway.
Should we do it?

OP posts:
IceRebel · 11/05/2019 11:28

Even without the amount of time you're out the house, and the fact you have a young child I wouldn't get a cat.

You should rehome a cat because you would like a cat, not because you want to get rid of the mice.

I can bet that any cat you get will ignore the mice.

Tigerlilly17 · 11/05/2019 11:29

Cats are perfectly fine and happy to be left for periods of time, unlike dogs. I got my little boy at 10 weeks old and came home for an hour and half at lunch in the early days. If they have fresh food, water and a litter tray along with a window to look out if they are fine. X

Willow4987 · 11/05/2019 11:30

Cats are much easier than dogs, in that they can be left longer due to being able to use a cat box etc. So I wouldn’t say a kitten is out of the question

We got a kitten (both working full time) but had a lady come in part way through the day for company/playing so he didn’t get bored or lonely. As your DH comes home then this might work?

Kittens tend to come litter trained (as the breeder should do this in the first 12 weeks, our breeder also wouldn’t let the kittens leave until 12 weeks when they had naturally weaned from their mother - it’s too early otherwise)

Joopy · 11/05/2019 11:30

Sounds fine as long as you have a cat flap

JustDanceAddict · 11/05/2019 11:30

Fine to leave a cat all day esp if you have a flap. They sleep a lot and are more active in the evenings. During the week there is no-one here from 7.30-4.30 and she stays inside.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 11/05/2019 11:35

Our cat brings mice in alive and 'gives' them to us. The only good mouser I've ever known was PILs cat, a local farm cat had a litter and the farmer was giving them away, the farm cats basically lived outside (other than a heated static caravan with a cat flap that they used for shelter) and kept the rodent population down around the yard.

Being out of the house isn't a problem with a cat as long as you have a cat flap. If we have visitors ours slinks off and ignores them. I'm on mat leave and he ignores me most of the day, and he's pretty friendly, likes cuddles in the evening, happy to be picked up and sleeps on the end of our bed. He's fine with the baby until DS makes a noise then cat runs for cover.

It sounds to me like you do want a cat as a pet but the mice have been a convenient reason to persuade your DH. Go for it as long as DH won't want to get rid when he finds the cat hanging out in the kitchen just watching the mice

PookieDo · 11/05/2019 11:39

I have chosen not to have a cat flap. I have an anxious cat who is easily spooked and she will go out into the garden (if it’s not raining) but has made herself a house cat pretty much. She’s so good with using a litter tray (not one accident ever) but she has wrecked multiple carpets with her love of scratching and she can be quick to attack you without warning.

I have had cats all my life and the best breed I ever ever owned for children was a Ragdoll. They can be lazy though but they are truely gorgeous

Tom cats - they may catch your mice but also roam and fight
Females - also may catch the mice but maybe not. Mine has only ever caught flies

Original poster
BunsOfAnarchy · 11/05/2019 11:46

See the thing is ive always wanted a cat because im a massive animal lover and in an ideal world id have less humans and more animals in my house. DH HATES dogs (i know, divorceworthy).
DH has been unsure about a cat but has had them in his childhood and does like them but has started to only agree due to the mice. Im dubious as to whether cat will even sort the mice problem out (im not even bothered, i just want me a cat!)

OP posts:
Mabelface · 11/05/2019 11:48

Get an adult rescue rather than a kitten.

PuppyMonkey · 11/05/2019 11:50

A cat won’t give a shiny shite if you’re there or not - as long as you leave it food, water and a means of having a wee and poo, it will be fine.Grin

adaline · 11/05/2019 11:51

We've had one of our cats from eight weeks and just left her home alone - she just had access to the kitchen at first in case she had any accidents and to avoid her getting stuck somewhere!

We now have two adult cats (one was a rescue) and they have the run of the house while we work. We've just been away and my SIL came in twice a day to feed them and do their litter trays but otherwise they've been alone.

We've done this plenty of times and they've been absolutely fine. You honestly don't need to take time off to settle a kitten!

PuppyMonkey · 11/05/2019 11:52

As for mice, it might catch them or it might not. It might just bring them in for you live as a gift and they will make a home in the unlikeliest place possible (in our case once, an escaped mouse started living inside our sub woofer speaker Grin).

thecatneuterer · 11/05/2019 11:53

No problem at all. Get an adult cat that doesn't like other cats, plus a cat flap. Or get a bonded pair. Either would be fine. To find your nearest rescues look at www.catchat.org

SabineUndine · 11/05/2019 11:54

I was turned down by one of the big rescue centres because I was at work all day, so be prepared for that as a possibility. Cats are generally ok on their own IME, though some like the company of humans more than others.

MrsBertBibby · 11/05/2019 11:54

Definitely get adult rescue, preferably a bonded pair. Talk to Cats Protection or similar rescues in your area. They are great at matching you with the right cat for you.

Your husband will be the cats' slave.

4strings · 11/05/2019 11:55

Our cat was about 3 when dd1 was born (got him at 18 mo as a rescue). The number of people who told us to get rid was staggering.

He’s never been particularly bothered about the dc and until they were about 8 and 5 respectively would walk out of any room they walked into. Now he adores them, dd1 especially and can usually be found curled up on her lap.

He sleeps all day, has water food, a litter tray (that’s recent - he used to always go out but he’s old now) and access to a couch/pile of laundry. He barely notices we aren’t there.

thecatneuterer · 11/05/2019 11:55

As you have a young toddler though you would need a laid back, tolerant sort of cat which your rescue should be able to point you towards. You would also need to supervise contact between your child and the cat.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 11/05/2019 11:57

Our local rescue always has older cats and kittens, with a toddler I'd get a kitten so it grows up used to small noisy children.
We've got a male, neutered, never had any issues with spraying, fighting or not coming home. He won't use the cat flap he prefers to knock on the windows with his paws!
We have quite a large garden and a wooded path behind, he doesn't go much further than that, we lived in a ground floor flat before so he's always been able to go out, but when he first started going out here he was gone a few hours which is unusual. I spent twenty minutes walking the streets calling for him, panicking only for him to roll out of a bush he'd been sleeping in in the garden 🤦🏻‍♀️

IncrediblySadToo · 11/05/2019 11:57

Get your cat 😻

It’s not your problem if it turns out to be a non mouser 🤣. Just the presence of a cat will help a bit anyway.

The cat will not care about being home alone.

Just make sure there are places it can get to that your 1 yo can’t and that you can have a litter tray somewhere your baby can’t get to or a cat flap. Plus somewhere to feed the cat that the baby can’t help themselves.

You might not be able to get one from a rescue (because of the baby) but there are plenty of others that need new homes, you just need to ask around friends/family etc

Leave your DH to his mouser fantasy and get one before he changes his mind!

FunkyKingston · 11/05/2019 11:58

My cat dealt with the mouse problem without killing a single mouse, the smell of the cat was enough to drive the mice away. In the new flat she killed 3 of them. She was 13 and a bit creaky by this stage and waa so proud she sat up all night waiting for someone to reward her.

LoafofSellotape · 11/05/2019 12:01

Cats are perfectly fine and happy to be left for periods of time, unlike dogs some are,mine definitely isn't.

Some cats aren't hunters at all and won't get rid of mice at all, in fact if they are hunters they could keep bringing them into your house.

Fluffycloudland77 · 11/05/2019 12:01

Rescues won’t home kittens to homes with a toddler, they get killed. It’ll be an adult who can get away.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 11/05/2019 12:05

When has a toddler ever killed a kitten?!

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 11/05/2019 12:05

OP you know you need to come back and post a photo when you get your new addition!

Justbreathing · 11/05/2019 12:05

Just get one, it’ll be fine!!
I wish I could have one 😢