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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a cat when we have a 1 yr old and both work?

77 replies

BunsOfAnarchy · 11/05/2019 11:20

I have wanted a family pet for years and DH has finally agreed to a cat, more so because where we live (close proximity to green belt and acres and acres of fields), we have now found we have small beautiful field mice visiting our house and leaving presents for us. I dont wanna be using and rat/mouse killer as im uncomfortable in the use of poisons especially with a 1 year old in the house.

As a good a reason as any right?!

My issue is i would love a cat, but im not sure if its a good idea now.
DH leaves the house at 5am and is home for lunch for 2 hours in the afternoon till 3 then is back out till 6.
Im out of the house 6:30am till 4pm.
We also have a 1 year old.

I know a kitten is out of the question as we would NEED to be around during the early weeks as much as possible so we would rather a larger cat anyway.
Should we do it?

OP posts:
Original poster
BunsOfAnarchy · 11/05/2019 12:06

Thank you all for such wonderfully helpful advice.

Will a ragdoll be a good choice?

I think the reason why DH was not for the idea for years was because when we bought our house it stunk to high heavens of cat piss in every room. It took ripping the carpets out to get rid of the smell!

If i get 2 adult ragdolls, will they be okay around my 1 year old? Id defo supervise DD around cat, shes a little monster so i never leave her unsupervised as it is lol

OP posts:
Justbreathing · 11/05/2019 12:08

Sounds like a good cat. Even tempered.
I would always get a lady cat personally

PookieDo · 11/05/2019 12:13

Rag dolls are better in pairs

Rag dolls are like any cat some don’t care about noise and some do but generally they sleep a lot and come out in the evening when DC have gone to bed!

Justbreathing · 11/05/2019 12:15

Please update with cat pictures when you’ve got one!!

PookieDo · 11/05/2019 12:19

I really miss my ragdolls now
I had 2 boys and they were absolutely gorgeous. They slept all curled up together in a huge ball of fur
I lost one boy when he was only 5 but the other lived till he was 11, when you walked over to him he would immediately flop on the ground purring awaiting to be stroked like an emporer 😂

They do moult though

MrsBertBibby · 11/05/2019 12:22

Most cat rescues will tell you which cats are best in households with children.

Thesunrising · 11/05/2019 12:23

Toddlers and pets don’t mix well - at least not without a lot of extra work and attention from you to keep them both safe from each other. Toddlers are hard work - why take on extra?

Also are you prepared to have your furniture damaged - scratched, covered in hair, smelling of wee and spray/spay(?spelling??). Also insurance costs, vet bills, cattery charges etc etc. It’s a massive commitment of time, cost and effort. Exhausting.

PodgeBod · 11/05/2019 12:28

I got an adult cat when my children were 2 1/2 and almost 1 and its never been an issue at all. Yes he has taken a couple of warning swipes when he felt threatened and they learned to give him space. Never had a bite or scratch and they adore him. And he loves them too, especially when they are asleep.

Harrison376 · 11/05/2019 12:33

Get 2 little rescue kitties, the shelters are bursting with them at the moment. We got 2 last October and they’re absolutely fantastic, considering their mum was feral they’re so friendly.

PodgeBod · 11/05/2019 12:33

Actually, the main issue we had was an awful flea infestation. We were using frontline, thinking that as it was pricey it would do a good job but it stopped working completely. We have since switched to Advantage but it was a nightmare getting rid of the fleas and my older daughter was covered in awful bites, which was upsetting.

Harrison376 · 11/05/2019 12:36

Also are you prepared to have your furniture damaged - scratched, covered in hair, smelling of wee and spray/spay(?spelling??). Also insurance costs, vet bills, cattery charges etc etc. It’s a massive commitment of time, cost and effort. Exhausting.

It’s not exhausting really is it?! My furniture’s never been damaged, neither have ever weed in the house, a quick hoover sorts out the hair. Insurance isn’t particularly expensive. Yes there is an initial cost with regards to neutering, Chipping and vaccinations but it’s not huge.

PookieDo · 11/05/2019 12:40

I’ve had 2 DC who are older now and no issues with the FOUR cats I have owned when they were babies and toddlers. Sadly 3 have died but unrelated to toddlers Hmm

NorthernKnickers · 11/05/2019 12:48

@Thesunrising exhausting? Having a cat? Seriously...what are you doing with a cat that's exhausting you? 😂😂😂 I have read some crackers things on here, but 'Cat Is Exhausting' has now pushed its way right to the top of the list...🤦‍♀️

Just looking at my very own DCat...he's lying on the sunny window ledge, been there all morning (only moved to lift his head to give me a withering stare when I turned on the vacuum!). Yup...he's exhausting 🤷‍♀️

NorthernKnickers · 11/05/2019 12:51

Oh...and he's never wee'd on anything, damaged any furniture or caused me any financial hardship...he's divine, simply divine! Worth the £15 or so a month he costs (it's really a drop in the ocean isn't it, to be fair 🤷‍♀️)

Gingerkittykat · 11/05/2019 12:55

I can easily go out all day and my cats don't care as long as there is dry food left out for them. If I'm lucky they will lift their head to register my presence when I get home.

I don't know if rescues will rehome to families with toddlers.

Bettythedevil · 11/05/2019 12:56

I would say unless a kitten they will mostly be fine with how long you are out of the house. In my inexpert, anecdotal experience males are better with this than female cats. I got two adult male rescues when mine were little and they absolutely love being outside all day. I got them an outdoor cat house which they sometimes amusingly sit on and in like a bunk bed. The only thing I would say about adult rescues is make sure you get one that is fine with children because some rescues can be anxious around kids.

IncrediblySadToo · 11/05/2019 12:57

A cat ‘exhausting’

😂🤣😂😂

Just when you think you’ve heard it all...

Bettythedevil · 11/05/2019 12:58

It’s a massive commitment of time, cost and effort. Exhausting.

I would say on the contrary they are the ideal lazy person’s pet, hence I have always had them Grin

adaline · 11/05/2019 13:04

@Thesunrising don't be so daft.

Cats are one of the most low maintenance pets you can get. Feed them twice a day and make sure they have water - that's pretty much all the input they require!

Mine sleep about 22 hours a day, the rest of the time they're eating, drinking, toileting and chasing each other up and down the living room.

They're hardly difficult. One trip to the vet per year each for a check up - that's it. I get all my flea and worming medication online.

LoafofSellotape · 11/05/2019 13:05

Cats are one of the most low maintenance pets you can get. Feed them twice a day and make sure they have water - that's pretty much all the input they require!

Not git a Bengal then?Grin

sarahqueenofp · 11/05/2019 13:09

Def get the cat! If you’re getting an adult you can make sure you get the right temperament to live with a child and then just leave it to its own devices. My cat is always in the garden, occasionally comes in demanding food or for a nap but certainly wouldn’t care if people were in all day or not.

LoafofSellotape · 11/05/2019 13:16

** got

Holidaycountdown · 11/05/2019 13:22

We got a pair from battersea, really quick easy process and they will guide you on the right cat/s for your situation. If you’re not set on kittens please go for a young adult if one suits, the babies are much easier to rehome!

thecatneuterer · 11/05/2019 13:32

Why go for a pedigree when there are so many lovely, sweet natured rescue cats out there? A rescue will be able to point you to the cats with the right personality for your household.

Purplejay · 11/05/2019 13:46

Get an adult rescue cat or ideally a pair. The rescue should advise on temperament. Cat(s) will be fine to be left while you work.

What I would say is make sure you allow the cat the opportunity to get away from your child when it wants and also teach your child that the cat has feelings and to be gentle.

Also while cats are pretty easy when young, they can/do scratch furniture. You need to cost in food, flea treatment and toys :) One of mine started weeing in the house when DS was born. Took a few weeks for her to settle. They can do it when they are ill/old too. Factor in insurance and/or vet bills too. Mine cost a fortune when they were old, dentals, high blood pressure and thyroid problems. They are 100% worth it though!

As for mice, well your cat might ignore them, it might bring them to you dead or alive (or somewhere in between) or just drop them in the house when you are not looking (if you have a cat flap) to roam free! Our two did that for a while. I used to catch them in a pint glass and take them back down the garden or wake to here a cat chasing a mouse in the middle of the night! It’s a bit of a lottery on that score!