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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bridesmaid Dress

40 replies

MissKittyFantastico0 · 11/05/2019 09:50

Hi all,

Am fully aware I may be completely U here, so please bear with and be a little gentle with me!
Am getting married in a month and my chief BM has had her dress for a few months now. We took quite some time finding a dress she liked and would work with her body type - curvy and heavy on top - I wanted her to feel comfortable and not forced into the typical BM dress. She's always said the role of a BM is to make the bride shine and make the day go easier, which is so lovely to hear considering everyone else's constant opinions on the wedding! Now the problem is, it was very tight when she first tried it on but has lost weight by going to the gym with her husband alot (not necessarily for the wedding alone, more of a lifestyle choice I believe as they're trying for a baby.)
Recently saw a new photo of it and whilst she looks amazing, I can't help but panic: it is the most sexy, slinky thing you've ever seen and not at all appropriate for the wedding now. It's supposed to be a drop down dress, loose and flowy. Instead you can see every inch of her body as if it were painted on and even the outline of her bellybutton hole.
Here's the AIBU - do I speak to her and explain how it makes me feel? (Like I won't be looked at at all on the day, all eyes will be on her and her alone - mine too!) Or do I just suck it up and try not to look at her on the day much? I've bought the dresses for all the BMs and have offered to get the next size up (the size it really should be) but she's adamant it fits perfectly.
I know it's mostly my insecurities shining through here, but can't stop thinking about it. Confused

OP posts:
IceRebel · 11/05/2019 09:54

If it was tight when she first tried it on, surely now she has lost weight it will be looser?

Isth · 11/05/2019 09:55

You’re overthinking it, in the nicest possible way. It’s nigh on impossible to upstage a bride, and one bridesmaid in a tight dress isn’t going to do it. To be honest, I might think about it for a second but only to think that a size up maybe would’ve been more comfortable 🤷🏼‍♀️

Isth · 11/05/2019 09:55

Also, as pp, how is it tighter now? If she’s lost weight?

PurpleDaisies · 11/05/2019 09:56

Surely it’s looser if she’s lost weight?Confused

LagunaBubbles · 11/05/2019 09:57

Eh this doesn't make sense? If she's lost weight it should be even more loose and flowy not tighter!

Treaclesweet · 11/05/2019 09:57

I'm sorry but I think YABU. You chose the dress with her you can't now complain what it looks like! I do see your point but I think you will damage your friendship if you say this to her. Everyone will be looking at you! You're the bride!

ZoeWashburne · 11/05/2019 09:57

You are going to be wearing white, probably with a veil, and some gems. All seats facing you, surrounded by people showering you with gifts and praise. How much more attention do you need?

MarthasGinYard · 11/05/2019 09:59

Of course YABU

Is this for real

SillyMoomin · 11/05/2019 09:59

Another one confused how it’s got tighter if she’s lost weight

PeonyTruffle · 11/05/2019 10:00

How is it now tighter if she has lost weight?

PeonyTruffle · 11/05/2019 10:00

And why did you choose them if they are inappropriate for a wedding?

Nishky · 11/05/2019 10:02

What? Just what?

Turpy · 11/05/2019 10:03

😲

MissKittyFantastico0 · 11/05/2019 10:03

Ok thanks all, won't say anything. Thanks for replying, am just being a Bridezilla Blush
Sorry, think it's all getting to me and my kids are currently running amok which is making my head go a little insane!

OP posts:
SillyMoomin · 11/05/2019 10:04

Noooo you have to explain how it’s got tighter if she’s got slimmer!

Lweji · 11/05/2019 10:04

Do people really want to see her belly button?
She may attract some attention but not in a good way.

Unless you're one of those brides in tight skin see-through dresses...

CocoLoco87 · 11/05/2019 10:04

You bought your bridesmaid a sexy slinky dress to wear at your wedding. And now she looks good in it, you're upset? Did you want her to look bad in it? Confused

PurpleDaisies · 11/05/2019 10:06

Explain how it has got tighter!

IceRebel · 11/05/2019 10:06

Noooo you have to explain how it’s got tighter if she’s got slimmer!

It can't be explained, as it's just not possible. Grin

Nishky · 11/05/2019 10:06

No op, you need to explain how a dress has got tighter now she has lost weight.

Bloomburger · 11/05/2019 10:07

Give your head a shake and remind yourself that a wedding is just about you and your partner making a promise to each other. The rest is just v v expensive window dressing.

Lweji · 11/05/2019 10:07

Maybe her husband adjusted the scales to shut her up

Aimily · 11/05/2019 10:09

Is the dress tights because she's got a smaller size now?

CherryPavlova · 11/05/2019 10:13

I’m sure you’ll all look lovely and a bride is difficult to upstage. We’re searching for bridesmaids dresses and finding it a real challenge to get something that suits all.
If you’ve met the needs of someone who is heavy busted, well done. Most dresses look like hideous polyester creations or have far too little coverage for a church wedding.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 11/05/2019 10:14

Another how is the dress tighter if she lost weight?