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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bridesmaid Dress

40 replies

MissKittyFantastico0 · 11/05/2019 09:50

Hi all,

Am fully aware I may be completely U here, so please bear with and be a little gentle with me!
Am getting married in a month and my chief BM has had her dress for a few months now. We took quite some time finding a dress she liked and would work with her body type - curvy and heavy on top - I wanted her to feel comfortable and not forced into the typical BM dress. She's always said the role of a BM is to make the bride shine and make the day go easier, which is so lovely to hear considering everyone else's constant opinions on the wedding! Now the problem is, it was very tight when she first tried it on but has lost weight by going to the gym with her husband alot (not necessarily for the wedding alone, more of a lifestyle choice I believe as they're trying for a baby.)
Recently saw a new photo of it and whilst she looks amazing, I can't help but panic: it is the most sexy, slinky thing you've ever seen and not at all appropriate for the wedding now. It's supposed to be a drop down dress, loose and flowy. Instead you can see every inch of her body as if it were painted on and even the outline of her bellybutton hole.
Here's the AIBU - do I speak to her and explain how it makes me feel? (Like I won't be looked at at all on the day, all eyes will be on her and her alone - mine too!) Or do I just suck it up and try not to look at her on the day much? I've bought the dresses for all the BMs and have offered to get the next size up (the size it really should be) but she's adamant it fits perfectly.
I know it's mostly my insecurities shining through here, but can't stop thinking about it. Confused

OP posts:
MissKittyFantastico0 · 11/05/2019 10:16

Sorry, I messed up with the tighter thing. She has lost weight but by going to the gym she now has very impressive muscle mass. The dress is a little looser on her: before she couldn't sit down in it, now she can.
Have given myself a big old mental shake and am just being stupid! It's far more important to have her and her family there and not worry about my silly insecurities - your replies have seriously helped me see that I was being a nit Blush
Thanks all!

OP posts:
OKBobble · 11/05/2019 10:20

If it is so tight you can see her belly button she will get people looking at her but for the wrong reasons - she will look grim. It seriously isn't a good look.

TheSmallAssassin · 11/05/2019 10:20

At our wedding the loveliest thing was feeling bathed in goodwill, everyone is happy for you both to be getting married to each other. The most important people there are you and your groom, nobody can outshine that, no matter what they look like! Concentrate on the important things and have a fabulous day.

DistanceCall · 11/05/2019 10:26

You're unhappy because one of your bridesmaids is going to look sexy?

Yes. You are being extremely unreasonable.

Be happy for your bridesmaid, and enjoy your wedding, and, more importantly, your marriage.

VoteJadot · 11/05/2019 10:28

I went to a wedding once where you could see the bridesmaids' nips like coat pegs in the cold church. Now that was ill-advised.

Singlebutmarried · 11/05/2019 10:29

Points for the use of the word nit.

I may incorporate it today and add wit to it.

bods off to look for someone to call a nitwit

TheInvestigator · 11/05/2019 10:30

It really sounds like the wrong size. I'm sorry but if a bridesmaids dress is the wrong size, the photos don't look good. It draws the eye and she risks tearing a seam when sitting down and moving around etc.

It's up to you what matters most. Some people don't care what the photos of other people then out like but some people do. It's your wedding. Buy the next size up and ask her to at least try it on.

viques · 11/05/2019 10:33

have a word with your photographer, check that they are a whizz at photoshopping out belly buttons and slink. Maybe they can plonk a Handmaids Tale bonnet and cloak over her if you think she is going to be too distracting.

If Catherine Cambridge managed to survive pippas arse cheeks at her wedding in front of millions I'm sure you will cope.

Bloomburger · 11/05/2019 10:35

I remember going to a wedding and the brides sister changed out of he modest bridesmaids dress into a powder blue spray on halter neck cat suit with no underwear 😬

Suffice to say she hadn't been waxed anytime recently so her coat peg nipples and hoo ha hair was the talk of the wedding!

FireflyEden · 11/05/2019 10:36

This reply has been deleted

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QueenOfTheCroneAge · 11/05/2019 10:36

viques Oh yes! Pippa's arse!

HyggeHeart · 11/05/2019 10:38

will she not look out of place if the other bridesmaids have loose flowy dresses and hers is skintight? it will look like she has a size too small?

MereDintofPandiculation · 11/05/2019 10:44

Everyone at that wedding is going to be looking at you and wishing you well. You will be radiantly happy and will look even better than you do when trying the dress on. Relax - it's just pre-wedding nerves.

RainbowFox · 11/05/2019 10:48

So you were happy with the dress when she was overweight, but now she's lost weight and looks good you don't want her to wear it? Confused

And I'm sorry I don't understand how she's lost all that weight to make such a massive difference to the way it looks, but it's still tight on her. Even with increasing muscle mass she would have still lost inches to make such a difference to the way she looks. So your post still doesn't make sense.

MarthasGinYard · 11/05/2019 11:14

'Even with increasing muscle mass she would have still lost inches to make such a difference to the way she looks. So your post still doesn't make sense.'

Exactly

She looks knockout in the dress when you were quite happy for her to be the dowdy big girl.

Don't be so jealous be happy for her. I bet she looks amazing so toned.

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