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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu?? Uninvited friends!!

49 replies

Madeye08 · 10/05/2019 16:23

I recently helped organise a party at a very good friends house. It was a general get together and her house is big enough for entertaining, but she didn’t want to do all the catering , so we-our friendship group- agreed to all bring food and drinks etc. The problem we have is that a mutual friend heard about the soirée and just turned up on the day!! No pre warning, no asking if it was ok, no invitation she just arrived at the door with her husband, kids and their friends....a total of 8, yes that’s 8 people!!! And totally empty handed!! Now she has a bit of form for this sort of thing, but has never just turned up without any warning. And we have always been annoyed - more so because she brings her kids, 2 of which are older teenagers, who in turn bring their mates!! Am I right to think she and her brood are total CF’s?? I need to tackle her about it, but am so annoyed if I start I really think I will lose it completely.....looking for some sound advise!!!

OP posts:
EvaHarknessRose · 10/05/2019 16:26

‘You were really overstepping by arriving uninvited, you have upset me’.

Wallywobbles · 10/05/2019 16:28

Very uncool behavior. Are you absolutely sure she didn't run it by anyone. If so I'd go all guns blazing n

popehilarious · 10/05/2019 16:29

what teenagers enjoy hanging out at their friends' mum's friends' house?!

outvoid · 10/05/2019 16:30

Yeah, very cheeky indeed and weird of the teenagers wanting to take their friends along like it’s a fun thing to do Confused.

DawgLover · 10/05/2019 16:31

I think you need to clarify how she found out about it. Could that have been misconstrued as an open invitation?

Original poster
Madeye08 · 10/05/2019 16:32

She asked one of the invited about her weekend plans and that’s how she found out.....but didn’t contact anyone else before just arriving! We all know her well, but I just can’t get past the fat she thought it would be acceptable to just rock up.....and empty handed 😟 She’s a nice person but CF!

OP posts:
mamagotchi · 10/05/2019 16:33

EvaHarknessRose

‘You were really overstepping by arriving uninvited, you have upset me’

....and empty handed.

What a liberty!

Original poster
Madeye08 · 10/05/2019 16:33

The ones with free flowing booze and of course we are super cool! 😉

OP posts:
Pinkprincess1978 · 10/05/2019 16:35

Although it is totally cheeky of course - as she wasn't invited she didn't know you were all chipping in with food and drink. Mind I don't tend to turn up anywhere without a bottle so it's still not an excuse.

Original poster
Madeye08 · 10/05/2019 16:36

It’s not that weird when they think there is free flowing booze...... soon put that right ! 🤬

OP posts:
PutyourtoponTrevor · 10/05/2019 16:43

How come she wasn't invited OP?

SandAndSea · 10/05/2019 16:45

Maybe you could just say something like, "I hear it's your turn to host next time?"

JeantheHipster · 10/05/2019 16:46

Why wasn't the mutual friend invited? I expect she turned up en masse to make a point about being left out

BumbleBeee69 · 10/05/2019 16:47

what did the owner of the House say ? Flowers

RSAcre · 10/05/2019 16:48

‘You were really overstepping by arriving uninvited, you have upset me’

Yes, extreme CF'ery, but ... it wasn't the OP's own house.
So isn't the reprimand better coming directly from the host?

skybluee · 10/05/2019 16:48

Have a party at her house.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 10/05/2019 16:49

Have a chat with her about your plans for this weekend. Invent another meeting at someones house who you know won't be in.

HolesinTheSoles · 10/05/2019 16:50

she brings her kids, 2 of which are older teenagers, who in turn bring their mates!!

What the hell? Why do the teenagers even want to go? I would have just said "oh sorry we're busy tonight we'll have to sort out another time to catch up".

ItalianEarthernware · 10/05/2019 16:52

She's not a nice person, she's a using pisstaker. She has form for this and you lot are just enabling her. Stick to the truth. 'It's really not on that you continually show up uninvited to places with a huge group in tow, empty handed and fill up on food and drink. It feels like being used here and it's not a good feeling.'

eddielizzard · 10/05/2019 16:52

Why did you let her in??? If you don't, she won't bother again.

Bibidy · 10/05/2019 16:53

To be honest, I think it's a bit mean to have not invited her if she's part of the friendship group. I think it would be super awkward for you to go to her and say you're annoyed that she showed up uninvited when it sounds like quite a few people were invited so it's not like it was an exclusive occasion, eg. like a seated dinner party where the host had cooked for a set amount of people.

I wouldn't bring it up, but next time I'd be very clear when inviting her that it's absolutely no kids, 100% adults only - and that includes teenagers.

Bibidy · 10/05/2019 16:54

PS. Absolutely unreasonable of her to bring her friends along. That's not on at all.

fedup21 · 10/05/2019 16:54

It’s not that weird when they think there is free flowing booze...... soon put that right!

How did you ‘soon put that right’? What exactly did you do?

snowdrop6 · 10/05/2019 16:57

I expect she was making a point about being left out .
Some people just won’t go quietly

mrsm43s · 10/05/2019 17:01

Why was she excluded from the party? Its pretty unkind to leave someone out of a party and then tell them about it.

I wonder whether she was making a point.