DH telling me to stop being "sassy"

[Nicolbolas]

Sometimes, when I express a dislike for something, or when DH and I bicker, he tells me to 'stop being sassy'. AIBU to find this annoying, and even mildly offensive? DH thinks I'm overreacting.

He calls you sassy, so the advice here is to call him a prick, a cunt, a git... that's all alright though.

The word "sassy" makes me feel a bit nauseous.

It assigns you "child" status and him "adult" status.

yep child=woman adult=man

considers namechange

Yuck. It is demeaning, I wouldn't like it at all.

It absolutely expresses that he thinks you don't know your place!

I don't think I could do tinge a relationship with someone who didn't think I was an equal, or who didn't care that they are making me feel bad.

00Sassy Naughty Sassy?

@AryaStarkWolf

Dictionary Sassy: lively, bold, and full of spirit; cheeky!

@00Sassy I was just referring to the 00 in front....noughts? lol

@AryaStarkWolf
It’s for ‘double oh’ as in James bonds’ ‘007’ but I like that too!

He sounds like a plank. Who uses "sassy"? Sounds more like he means "how dare you be in possession of a vagina and disagree with me, the Man".
I would tell him to stop being a misogynist next time he says it and point out woman have rights to an opinion different from their husband these days.

Sassy is one of those word that can definitely be complimentary, but in this case clearly isn't!

Yeah my manager often calls me sassy but not in a derogatory way!

I cant see that 'sassy' is gendered. It's another bloody awful Americanism creeping in. On those grounds alone I'd be annoyed.

www.dictionary.com/browse/sassiness

Not gendered here either:

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sassy

or here:

en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/sassy

I cant see that 'sassy' is gendered.

It really is though. I've only ever heard it used towards women (not that I've heard it used much at all) What actually came to my head when I read the OP was hearing it in films or books about black women in the southern states and their employers/owners (depending on the era) would call them sassy or say to stop the sass if they spoke up/answered back. It was very much directed at women and as a way of saying they were getting above their stations/challenging authority kind of a thing

My dad describes me as sassy and feisty. Very bloody proudly though, because he's proud of raising a woman who knows her own mind.

If anyone said it to me in the manner your DH does, I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with them. I can't abide men who speak to women that way.

According to the Urban Dictionary, 'sassy' means

Someone that is just the coolest person ever, and uses sarcasm in the coolest and funniest of ways. Most sassy people are very lovable.

But I wouldn't like it either!

actually I just googled "Sassy man" and all the results that popped up were to do with gay men.......... and people asking what the male equivalent of sassy was

Whether the word was originally misogynistic or not is kind of beside the point in this instance isn't it?

It's being used by a man to silence a woman in a patronising and offensive way because she is a woman. That makes it misogynistic.

This thread is creeping me out a bit.

It’s not about the words.

If DH “told” me to stop being anything, he’d be shown the door.

That’s not how grown ups behave with other grown ups.