Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave teaching

31 replies

teachingnothing · 09/05/2019 22:00

I’ve name changed for this.

I’ve been in my job nearly 14 years. I’ve recently moved schools, and I’m really struggling.
My new school doesn’t have any clear behaviour management systems. I’ve been sworn at, laughed at, told I’m a crap teacher, and I just can’t take it any more. Maybe it is me.

AIBU to quit after only 3 weeks? And what on earth can I do instead?

OP posts:
AragonsGirl · 09/05/2019 22:30

No real advice I’m afraid, just wanted to let you know I know how you feel! I moved jobs at the beginning of the school year after many years in another school, and I have never had such vile language directed towards me (by 9 year olds!) in all my years of teaching. Pretty tricky, and wearing, to have a “restorative conversation” with a child who is screaming obscenities across a room at you and others! I have pointed out to management that verbal abuse isn’t tolerated by bus drivers/hospital staff etc...so I now tend to direct said screaming child towards them. Some days I feel supported, some days I don’t.

Alieeeeeens · 09/05/2019 22:30

Hi OP, another teacher here Flowers

Do you want to leave teaching altogether or just the school you’re at? I would say life is too short to stay somewhere you aren’t happy. If it’s just this school then I think you should start looking for new jobs for September immediately since you would have to give your notice in by half term. You can always say that this job was taken as an interim to a more permanent job/the school really didn’t suit you/you want to relocate/you’re looking for a school that does X.

If you stay longer, you’ll suffer as will your health/MH. I guess it depends on whether you’re fed up of teaching or just this school?

Big handhold though and I hope you get through it x

sanityisamyth · 09/05/2019 22:31

I'm quitting teaching. This is my 13th year. It's not the same job as when I started. I'm going back to uni in September to do pharmacy. Don't stay in a job you hate OP x

ReganSomerset · 09/05/2019 22:32

YANBU. I don't even need to read your full post to know that.

I'd quit and do supply until you can figure your next steps out.

Treaclepie19 · 09/05/2019 22:34

YANBU.
I have no clue what to suggest to do... I'm trying to work that out as well.

Alieeeeeens · 09/05/2019 22:35

Also don’t worry - it’s not just you I promise Blush - I’ve had a few classes that really didn’t like me at both the schools I’ve worked at. I used to cry after one particular Y9 group. Funnily enough, the kids in that group are Y11 now and I get on really well with them (but that’s probably because I don’t teach them anymore!).

HollowTalk · 09/05/2019 22:37

What a horrible situation.

Do you feel you want to go to a different school or have you just had enough?

Can you afford to just stop and take a breather?

janetforpresident · 09/05/2019 22:39

I know how you feel. Absolutely quit. Plan to do supply from September if you haven't found anything. If you hand your notice in for end of term you will be paid until 31st August so it gives you some time to find something. We can't advise you on what to do without knowing your qualifications/interests/ experience. Life's too short to be in a job you hate though.

Alieeeeeens · 09/05/2019 22:40

Its so sad that so many are leaving teaching but I totally get why people do. Sad

JeezOhGeeWhizz · 09/05/2019 22:42

Quit. Its the last job. Any job is better than the abuse teachers face. Flowers

IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets · 09/05/2019 22:43

Were you happy at your last school? It can be awful going from a school you know well and generally like to a new school where you don’t know routines and systems. It is particularly bad if the school you start at is also unwelcoming/crap in some other way.

When I was in this situation I applied elsewhere and left to teach elsewhere after 6 months. The positive that came out of it was that I really appreciate my current situation, although it isn’t perfect.

If you were unhappy previously, maybe it is time to leave.

southbucks77 · 09/05/2019 22:47

It can be really hard when you change schools. I know I really disliked my “new” school when I first moved and missed my previous school so much. 13 years on and I feel at home. Can’t see myself loving any time soon. Having spoken to other teachers it can be a baptism of fire going to a new school with new ways of doing things. I would give it a bit longer, especially as you will have different classes next year.
Also these students may have had teacher after teacher. Starting a new school at Easter is hard and the kids will feel that there is yet another face in front of them. They want security.

Why did you leave your last position at Easter?

disconnecteddrifter · 09/05/2019 22:47

When I started a new school after 13 years in my old one I found it incredibly difficult I had also gone full time for the first time and had young kids. Everyone said stick it out for a term and it will be better and it wasn't! Not for 7 terms and now I love it.
Of course workload too much and I have crappy days with ungrateful stressed children and abusive behaviour but I feel supported now and I wasn't then. I dont know I suppose I'm saying it's soon summer maybe give it a go and reassess next academic year

LindsayDentonsCat · 09/05/2019 22:50

I left teaching. I've since retrained to work in Children's Mental Health. I love it. No regrets. Yes I get less holiday, but I work one-on-one with the children who need the most nurturing. I see the teachers in the schools I work in and so many of them are on their knees. It's not worth it for a job.

flumposie · 09/05/2019 22:52

Nope. 22 years of teaching and I would love to quit.

Redstorm2807 · 09/05/2019 23:14

15 years in and I totally understand where you're coming from. Have you considered the independent sector? I started in a state school then did 10 years independent and currently in a state school due to a relocation and needing to just get any job. I'm in my 2nd academy since moving last spring and while I would probably be reasonably happy staying in my current school my previous school was hell. Kids swearing at my, threatening me outside school, no support, no resources - eventually I was signed off as I completely lost my voice and was so stressed I couldn't cope anymore.

I'm looking forward to starting back in the independent sector in September. Longer holidays, better pay, more independence from all the stupid BS the government throws at you and on the whole the kids are amazing. Would that be an option for you?

AnduinsGirl · 09/05/2019 23:18

Come on love, where's your resilience? You've lasted 14 years so you can't be that crap. Why are you letting 3 weeks of shitty comments trump 14 years of hard work?
Not fun to find yourself in an awful school but now's the perfect time to escape. Speak directly to the head - your very sorry but you don't think you're right for the school, or vice versa, and get cracking looking for other jobs.
Or...stick it out and see what you can make of the current situation? What's going so wrong?

Redstorm2807 · 09/05/2019 23:18

Although what pp have said is also true, starting towards the end of the year is always difficult especially if the kids have had lots of different (crap) teachers covering. They will assume you're just the next cover teacher no matter how many times you tell them you're staying. It wasn't till I came back in September that some of them warmed to me a little bit. It might just be 'hazing' although as you've said - in what other career would it be acceptable to just put up with this shit? And I'm not just talking about the kids - the parents can be just as bad.

superram · 09/05/2019 23:21

You need to decide if it’s the job or the school. I’ve been teaching 20 years and have just left an amazing school as I can’t teach anymore. For me it was the job-maybe not forever but it was too much.

recrudescence · 09/05/2019 23:23

Teaching has become a truly horrible job. If you can quit, do it. Not a day goes past without me feeling so grateful that I’ve retired.

PissOffPeppa · 10/05/2019 01:26

I quit teaching 3 years ago. I’ve never looked back. I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been.

You might be happier in a different school. You might have a better time of it when the new term starts. But only you can make the decision of whether it’s worth sticking out. There’s no point working yourself to death.

Tessalectus · 10/05/2019 05:30

I've changed schools a fair bit over the years for one reason or another and the first few months are always horrible, especially if you start mid-year. In any shortage subject it is likely that the children will have had numerous supply staff before you started (in ours right now almost 2 terms' worth - with some cover staff saying they'd stay only to quit after a week or two) and they will test you to buggery.

Also, if you're secondary, this time of year is generally seen as wind-down time; this half-term is so short the kids don't really get into the swing of it before the next holiday is already in sight and the final summer half-term, with trips, work experience, enrichment days/ weeks for all but the exam classes is never treated as particularly important by students or staff, who are often more concerned about fitting all the numerous to-do tasks into what little gained time they have.

In short, you may want to give it time IF and only if you actually enjoy teaching as a whole.

FWIW, I'm taking steps to get out as well. I value myself and my skills too much to deal with all the rudeness from students and parents alike, fight the students every day to make them care about their own futures, deal with the frustrations of having to force an unsuitable curriculum onto non-academic students and knowing that the targets that have been set for me to move up the pay scale are so impossible I'm stuck on my pay point forever, no matter how much experiemce I bring to the job.

But then I have finally found out what I want to do and am taking tentative steps to get connected and, once financially viable in a year or two, I can start re-training.

IKnowYouAndYouCannotSing · 10/05/2019 05:37

Another ex teacher here. It was killing me slowly. Back at uni now and working part time for a charity. Never felt better. I was a teacher for 12 years but bj the time I quit last year it just wasn’t the same job anymore. Good luck. Take the leap!

2dogsand1baby · 10/05/2019 05:57

Explore other options in teaching first - you loved it once, maybe you'll love it again? This time last year I was on the verge of packing it in, but applied for a job in an independent school. It's only a year contract but it's made me realise I love teaching, and I'm good at it. Behaviour management is not what this job should be about.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do, just don't throw away something you're good at because of bad experience!

Unevenbeard · 10/05/2019 09:58

I left teaching just over 2 years ago for the sake of my sanity and I've never looked back. I don't miss it one bit!

Swipe left for the next trending thread