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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like mid forties is too old to retrain? :(

79 replies

SilverHype · 09/05/2019 21:44

I've been a carer for the last 10 years. Before that I was a medical secretary, before that, many McJobs.

I'm at a point now where I am in a position to study/retrain but I'd be almost fifty by the time I was employable. It's all a bit too late isn't it?

Any inspirational stories of retraining and dream jobs in middle age for me at all?

OP posts:
florentina1 · 10/05/2019 08:47

I had my first child at 20 and the last one at 34. At 43 I went back to work as a part time cashier in a bank. By the time I was 50 I was Area Manager with responsibility for 11 branches. At all my selection Interviews i talked about multi-tasking as a working mum and volunteering. Approaching 60 retrained as an employment councillor.

I left school with just a couple of O levels but I think my life experiences were taking into account when I applied for training.

florentina1 · 10/05/2019 08:49

Meant to say I was a SAHM for 23 years

stressedoutpa · 10/05/2019 08:50

Some very inspiring stories on here.

I would advise against becoming a PA/EA though!

PurpleWithRed · 10/05/2019 08:54

Please do it for me.

I realised in my mid 50s that I really wanted to retrain, but it would involve 4 years of training (access to education + degree) because I’ve been out of education since 1979, and would mean a big financial outlay and loss of earnings, and and and.. So I didnt. But I could have, and then worked nearly 10 years in my new role. If you retrain now you could have 20 years in your new role - a whole working lifetime.

So please, for me, go for it.

ReadWriteDraw · 10/05/2019 09:02

I think retraining is about being selective. Training as an Ed Psych with no degree would take 3 years (psych degree) and then 3 years (doctorate and research) but it is very hard to get onto the Ed PSych doctoral courses (which are few and far between) as there will be a lot of people who have extensive experience who are also applying and places are very limited.

I'm not saying don't try but maybe get some shadowing experience with an Ed Psych, talk to the admissions coordinator at the Ed Psych programme in your region to see how much experience they realistically expect you to have before your application is considered.

I'm in the same boat here btw - 45 and not sure what now to do now!

polkadotpixie · 10/05/2019 10:09

You're definitely not too old!

I'm planning on retraining once I've had another baby and my oldest starts school. I will be 39 by then and have a 3 year course ahead of me. I can't retire until I'm 68 so I'll have 26 years of my planned career

You only live once!

romany4 · 10/05/2019 11:15

You're going to be 50 in x years time whether you retrain or not. So retrain.

I'm 47 and that really struck a chord with me as I'm dithering over whether to retrain or not.
So thank you wafflyversatile
I've spent this morning researching courses to take me in a different direction and feeling very positive

AnnaComnena · 10/05/2019 11:28

I’d like to do a creative writing masters and write for children but keep thinking I’ve left it too late. You’re definitely not alone!

Definitely not too late for that! Many people begin to pursue a writing career seriously after retiring from their previous jobs/careers. It's one area where it doesn't matter if you no longer have the strength and stamina that you had in your 20s and 30s.

JustDanceAddict · 10/05/2019 11:31

No way! I’m same age as you and know at least two friends who are a bit older who are retraining. Go for it if you know what you want to do.

Okki · 10/05/2019 11:38

I'm 44 and have been sitting here this morning wondering what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I'm currently a SAHM - I've done an undergrad degree with the OU and I am contemplating an MA starting Sept but that's because I've had no luck finding a job that fits around family life. In 2.5 years both my DC's will be a bit more independent - both will be at secondary and won't need holiday childcare to the same extent.

I want to be retrain as something but I don't really know what. However I completely agree that you should go for it OP.

cushioncovers · 10/05/2019 11:38

I'm in the nhs and see people in their late forties and even eArly fifties retraining to become nurses and midwives. Their main complaint is finding it physically more draining and harder to absorb and retain new information compared to their younger counterparts. But still it's doable.

madcatladyforever · 10/05/2019 11:43

You have to be kidding me!!! I did my degree in my 40s and am now a successful podiatrist. People love employing older women because they are flexible and have experience with people. I left nursing due to a bad back. It would be great for you to retrain.

aintnothinbutagstring · 10/05/2019 11:58

Just do it OP, I agree psychology is a long old slog but the doctorate is funded by the NHS or government (depending on which speciality, clinical or educational) at least so you'd get paid a trainee salary for those three years also (that is the case for clinical for sure). I'm sure your prior experience would be taken into account, especially care work as it's an introduction to clinical. Teaching may be more accessible, maybe approach the training companies in your area, most have open days. Or police? Our county is recruiting loads (after the hike in council tax!) and there's so many different positions.

LakieLady · 10/05/2019 12:40

A friend jacked in her job at 51 and did a counselling degree, then a masters in something to do with counselling and addiction.

She's now in private practice 1-2 days a week and 2 days a week at a drug and alcohol project and bloody loving it.

Go for it, I say!

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 10/05/2019 14:57

She's now in private practice 1-2 days a week and 2 days a week at a drug and alcohol project and bloody loving it.

That's another reason I'm looking into a degree as well - the prospect of increased flexibility. Once the DC are grown up, DH and I are hoping not to work full-time as our bills will (hopefully) be significantly lower. So, an area that offers flexibility will be great.

RuffleCrow · 10/05/2019 16:39

I'm really surprised I'm the only person who has had a negative experience with this. I was only in my mid thirties at the time, but found I was rejected at every turn despite tonnes of relevant experience, enthusiasm and knowledge. I just seem to keep hitting brick walls. I'm not sure whether it's something to do with living in quite a young university town and pushing the average age at that point (and well over it now). I've tried several different paths but nothing seems to work. I can't believe I'm the only one who has suffered age/ parental status discrimination? Surely it's quite well established that both those are A Thing, especially for women? Or are you all editing out the knockbacks?

FatThor · 10/05/2019 17:11

RuffleCrow I'm really surprised to hear that, that must have been so frustrating!

I've had the opposite experience, I applied for an AHP degree at 40 and got offers from every uni, I'm now in my first year and it's going pretty well.

OP I would say go for it if it's what you really want

RuffleCrow · 10/05/2019 17:37

I guess this is MN - home of Boden, White Company etc where requests for a view out of someone's front door is often met with rolling acres of pasture. Maybe my experiences are more common in wider society - i've certainly met women in similar positions in rl and don't feel it's that uncommon. Maybe it's just MN tends to be 'successful' demographic and i don't really fit in.

lilybetsy · 10/05/2019 17:40

I have a friend who retrained as a midwife in her 50's ... go for it

Dontbeadick · 10/05/2019 17:43

Go for it. When I did my Legal Practice Course there was a man who was about 50. You still have plenty of working years left

PurpleCrazyHorse · 10/05/2019 17:46

I'm retraining as a TA with eyes to becoming a teacher (but really want to see how it is before doing that). Already have a degree so might not take too much. I'm 40 (and just looked at my pension prediction and am equally stressed by it and relieved realising I probably have 30 more years I can be paying in!!).

Thedogscollar · 10/05/2019 22:59

It's definitely not too late. Education is accessible to all ages do it now and have an amazing career. Goodluck.

StuckInsideAnEcho · 10/05/2019 23:02

I went to an amazing uni in Wales as a mature student. One of my lecturers had only been doing it a few years. She was amazing. I would go for it. Age doesn't matter if you're perfect for the job

mellicauli · 10/05/2019 23:09

We employ quite a few people who have changed career to developer later in life. They do tend to be men.

And I agree that post-menopause , you may find yourself suddenly rejected as not being a good "fit" (which roughly translates to "we want to exchange jokes and go to the pub with people our own age, Mum")

dentaldilema · 10/05/2019 23:49

I've just finished my first year of uni studying psychology. I'll be 40 this year, best choice I've made in years. I don't think you're ever too old to start a new chapter.