Did I do the right thing? Helped a stranger uncover cheating.

[frenchonion]

Before I met my DP, I met a man On OLD site and got chatting. For several reasons we never met up, but got on fairly well as people and kept in touch for a while as friends by text and social media, which eventually tapered off as we started dating other people and life moved on etc, although remained 'friends' on social media.

I had a surprising message on SM yesterday from a woman I don't know. She'd actually been trying to contact me since the beginning of April asking if I could please please help her, but I hadn't noticed the messages as I don't use SM much, asking me to identify a photo of a man, with an attached pic of the guy is been chatting to OLD years before. I replied out of curiosity really, and the fact her messages sounded increasingly desparate. As it turns out, she was his DP and was asking for my help to prove that a particular social media account belonged to him. I confirmed that I recognised the photo, and she explained that he was denying this account belonged to him.

Anyway, long and short of it was he had been lying to her about this account being his and it sounded like he might have been using it for nefarious cheating purposes. I don't know how she ended up messaging me, but I did feel for her and sent her a couple of screenshots of the photos on the account which confirmed that it was his and he had been lying about it all. I didn't probe too much but she messaged me this morning to say she had ended the relationship and really warmly thanking me for my help.

I told my DP about this out of the blue exchange (I'm super low drama as a person and use SM very sparingly). He asked why didn't I keep out of it? I said I didn't owe this guy anything and had nothing to lose, except potentially saving someone from further heartache. He saw my POV (and would never dictate what I can or cannot do) but said he would have ignored the messages from the woman. I feel a bit weird about it all really. I won't waste any more time thinking about it but it would be interesting to know if other people would have done the same or if IWBU. Was I?

Its not anywhere near the same as 11 year old in the park. While I admit to probably not thinking through every possibility, I mostly figured the cost to me was low in that I didn't owe him anything, that her profile looked genuine...around the same numbers of followed and following, photos of them both together, regular photos of her with friends and presumably family based on resemblances etc, and 3. That I was only sharing some memes, but together basically confirmed when coupled with the unusual nickname, that it was him (e.g. memes about a specific job, memes of a very very unusual hobby and one of a truck that could have been anyone's as plates not visible). Sorry, I'm going round in circles trying to explain myself. Its done now and I can't undo it, but I'm glad really I'm not the only one who would have, so thanks again for the input. Has definitely helped calm my mind.

And DP is about as far from a 'bro code' type as it gets! I feel a bit defensive of him reading that comment. He's definitely a good egg.

She thanked me warmly for helping a stranger when I didn't have to, and that she intends to try to be a better and happier person going forward, that she was truly broken, but feels relieved that she's not in limbo.

Well done OP!

There’s nothing wrong with having a bro (or sis) code. As there is nothing wrong with helping a sister (or brother out)

Well done though. Alls well that ends well.