Can't make up my mind about the boyyyy

[hubbabubbaa]

So there's a guy that works at my gym (cliche I know🤣) but he's really hot. like REALLY fucking hot!!
I go to the gym with three of my other friends, he always smiles and waves at me (not my friends) whenever I see him!
I keep finding my self having really inappropriate dreams about this guy to the point that I can't even look him in the eye anymore.
I've done my Facebook stalking 🤣 we have no mutual friend. Would I be unreasonable to add him and make conversation??? Or would that be weird? HELP ME!!

Is he a boyyyy or is he a mannnn? These things matter in the eyes of the lawwww.

You’ve posted this juvenile nonsense in chat and here for traffic, seriously? Grow up, if you want to ask him out, do so. You seem to have confused MN for a Cosmo advice column.

Arsehole brigade out in full force today, eh?

If I were you OP I would try and strike up conversation at the gym instead of online. It’s more natural / organic, and will give you a better feel for what he’s really like.

You definitely have nothing to lose by making conversation with him! And you already have the gym in common, which gives you something to talk to him about.

why have you posted this twice??

Arsehole brigade out in full force today, eh?

If the op had only posted in chat, fair enough. Posting on the two bigger forums just to get attention for their schoolgirl crush is ridiculous though. This is Am I Being Unreasonable, not Am I Being Twelve.

This is Am I Being Unreasonable, not Am I Being Twelve

🤣

Dear Just Twelve Seventeen,

I have seen this gorgeous man at the gym, would it be acceptable to ask him out?

Love,
Gym girl

Dear Gym girl,

Why not ask your friends, or should I say vipers, on that well known Internet forum Bitchnet Mumsnet. I'm sure, ahem, you may get a balanced view from them.

In the meantime, if you like him and you are sure he's not an axe wielding murderer then go for it, you have nothing to lose except your head

Love,
Melanie

Oh please. Half of all threads on AIBU aren’t actually a valid AIBU. Everyone uses it for traffic, because the other boards are ghost towns. No need at all for you to pick on OP in particular just because you’re being a snob about how she has chosen to express herself. Gatekeeping on the basis of someone’s choice of language is a shitty thing to do on an Internet forum.

2019 mumsnet - lets all pile on the OP!!! RIP her to shreds!!! Go on!!!! Fight fight fight!!! Miaow woof woof grrrrrrrr

Sorry, I came over all unnecessary there OP ... I say send him a friend request and strike up conversation. What’s the worst that could happen? Is he definately single?

There’s a great support document out there, called Jackie.

They have two world renowned columnists called Cathy & Claire, who will offer you sage advice

He likes you. You like him. Forget Facebook, next time you see him ask him out.

Half of all threads on AIBU aren’t actually a valid

Only half? I thought about 90% were total made up bollocks at this point. Talking of which, I wonder where the op went after her initial post. I guess going to the gym then getting so excited they needed to join MN and tells us about it at 5am is rather exhausting. Back to bed to dream ‘about the boy’ I suppose.

Maybe she’s gone to work? Makes me laugh when people on here expect OPs to sit glued to their thread for hours after posting.

Talk to him, see how that goes then ask him for a coffee.

Christ, if people don't like a post they don't have to be knobs about it, roll your eyes, move on. Life is short
(Yes, public forum, entitled to say what you like blah, blah bloody blah)
Op add him on Facebook, get some enjoyment out of silly fun things . As you can see from above posters, you become a total misery if you don't

@StickyBlisteredAnus, of course not. However I always find it odd that people join MN at weird hours to post even weirder stuff, and half the time don’t reply - just let the thread descend into a bunfight between those wondering ‘wtf’ and those who will defend any op however odd it is.

Why don’t you talk to him at the gym? He might find it weird that you stalked him... especially if he’s just being friendly.

@DoneLikeAKipper Maybe people don’t reply further as they’ve had unnecessarily nasty responses?

It’s not a weird thread, it’s someone having a bit of fun. This used to be allowed a few years back. These days if you’re not banging on about brexit, breast feeding or transgender issues you’re not welcome to post apparently.
When did mumsnet become so serious and arsey? Such a shame. If you don’t like an OP, ignore it. No need to be nasty

@HBStowe No, seems pretty fair to me. If a man comes on here and refers to a woman he likes or has been seeing as a girl, there will be many posters lining up to have a go about him using the term "girl" (even though girlfriend is permitted). Not even girrrrrl. So I see no reason why the OP shouldn't have her use of "boyyyyyy" jumped on in the same vein.

I assumed OP used “boyyyyy” as an indication that she is aware that this is rather a schoolgirl-y question and that she is being lighthearted- while also interested in opinions.
For what it’s worth OP, I don’t think you should ask him out. I think you should enjoy the crush and keep going to the gym. This crush probably makes going to the gym more fun. Maybe it makes you work a little harder? If you ask him out and it transpires that he’s not interested, you might feel embarrassed about going. If he really likes you, he might ask you anyway and, in the meantime, I think you should just enjoy having the extra spring in your step. (If you never get embarrassed, then just ignore me and ask him of course.)
(Note to vipers: this is lighthearted advice from someone who struggles to motivate herself to get to the gym.)

Keep going to the gym. Next time try to speak to him even if it's just hello. Then a little more the next time. Then you'll be able to gauge the situation more and see how to take it from there, eg once you've spoken properly, then FB him. Do not ask him out yet and do not do it until you have a much clearer idea of things. As pp said, you don't want to jump in with both feet then be embarrassed x

I think boyyy is meant to be singing like in “mad about the boy”

@floraloctopus brilliant.

Op go for it, what do you have to lose.

Why do people have to be so ridiculous on these threads? Ok, you think it's dumb? You don't like the tone? Don't comment then surely?

Yes op, add him on Facebook-what's the worst that can happen. Good luck with it!

Just talk to him, or add him on FB whatever, looks like he does like you, what have you got to lose? (You can always change gyms....)

No, seems pretty fair to me. If a man comes on here and refers to a woman he likes or has been seeing as a girl, there will be many posters lining up to have a go about him using the term "girl" (even though girlfriend is permitted). Not even girrrrrl. So I see no reason why the OP shouldn't have her use of "boyyyyyy" jumped on in the same vein.

Really? You can’t see one reason? Not the fact that this was clearly a lighthearted post in which OP is being ironically self-referential about her crush, and not proposing to pen a dissertation on the use of gendered language as a means of minimising and dismissing others?

Not the fact that discrimination is prejudice + power, meaning that a man referring to a woman as a girl simply isn’t the same as a woman referring to a man as a boy, because men aren’t institutionally patronised, passed over, disrespected, ignored, dismissed and underestimated by women in the way women are by men?

Honestly, this site is absurd. You were a snob about the OP because she didn’t express herself in a way you deem acceptable, and now you’re trying to pass that off as some kind of valid critique of gender equality when actually you were just being a salty bitch and don’t want to admit it.