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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your help?

37 replies

PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 03:35

Good morning all,

I'm posting here for traffic so apologies in advance but I really need some help/guidance.

Our 10 m/o DD won't sleep. This is a new development - been going on for the last 4/5 days.

Tried to put her down at normal at 7pm - she had her story, seemed to settle - all good, then she started wailing so I go back up, resettle, back and forth for an hour, try all the usual stuff and nothing works. I take her back out of bed, downstairs and we chill on the sofa in darkened living room until 9pm. She then went down ok and one wake up.

Slept until 12 - woke up, settled with milk
1am- awake, settled with dummy (not been working for a while (refusing) so surprised it did)
2am - awake settled again with milk
3am - we're still awake.

I think she's teething and I've given her calpol.
She doesn't want to lie in her cot, cries and rolls over when I put her down.
Currently sat on her bedroom floor with her feeling like I'm a massive failure because I just don't know how to help her Sad

Any help or advice is appreciated.

OP posts:
spaniorita · 09/05/2019 03:37

No advice because I'm still up with my 12 month old and I have to be up to get ready for work at 5. I think he had a similar sleep regression thing around 10 months and it passed. Just hang in there!

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 03:39

Thanks @spaniorita I think I would cry if I wasn't so tired and had the energy Confused

OP posts:
Ifigotherewillbedouble · 09/05/2019 04:07

Has your baby started crawling or is learning something new - sometimes it really is a case of their wee brain being over active due to learning these new skills, so it’s harder to switch off and sleep. You’re doing the right thing, stick to the same routine. I wouldn’t recommend leaving the bedroom with the baby - it’s bedtime and they need to adjust to this. So no gadgets, nice cool room, low light, calm and happy mummy or daddy. This is a normal stage of development - I think my youngest was 18 months before we had regular uninterrupted sleep through the night. I feel your pain - I’m currently sleep deprived at hospital with my oldest DD22 who is being investigated for pain and fast heartbeat. I did get some full night sleeps in between times though, promise

0nTheEdge · 09/05/2019 06:55

Sounds like sleep regression to me too. Could be teeth, learning a new skill, separation anxiety. I had three bad sleepers so you have my full sympathy! I hope it gets better soon. You are not a failure.

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 08:08

Thanks all, we managed to get some sleep from around 4:30am.
She is becoming more mobile now, think she's trying really hard to get crawling so that's probably playing a part. You'd think they'd be exhausted not swinging from the rafters at 3am Hmm
I do think there's some separation anxiety in there too - I've just peeled myself off her bedroom floor & gone into my own room, within 5 minutes she's awake and upset. She gets upset when I give her to DH too, she seems to just want me at the moment.

This is by far the worst she has ever slept, hopefully it doesn't last too long Blush

OP posts:
Damntheman · 09/05/2019 09:05

This too shall pass OP. It's a horrible stage, I remember it well!

I would also recommend you keep her in her room rather than taking her out (unless she's full on hysterical in which case a change of scenery can break through). Persevere, she'll get there. Perhaps you can keep yourself a blanket or three and pillow on her floor so that you can get some kip?

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 09:16

I don't normally remove her from her room, to be honest it's not usually necessary but my god, last night was something else! She was screaming at the top of her little voice and she wouldn't stop if I wasn't there. As soon as I was there though she was seemingly wide awake and having the best time ever, (through no one's doing, nothing was different last night) so in a bit of desperation, I took her back downstairs until she was more tired and went down well.
I can say for certain I will be running on coffee and naps today Brew

OP posts:
DameSylvieKrin · 09/05/2019 09:20

If she’s anything like my daughter the sleep won’t resolve itself until she starts crawling, so leave her on the floor as much as possible until she cracks it. Put her toys slightly out of reach to encourage her to try.
Tag team sleeping with your other half to get some rest in the meantime. Even if she cries with him, you need to prioritise your sleep for part of the night so that you can look after her safely.
It’s a horrible feeling that you don’t know how to help her but sometimes it’s because there is no way to help her.

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 14:23

Thanks @DameSylvieKrin she's only just gone down for her first nap of the day. She's developed a cough too that keeps waking her up Sad guess this is just a little bump in the road.

OP posts:
Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 20:12

Here we are again, playing out exactly the same as last night Sad I really don't think I can handle another night the same 😢

OP posts:
hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 20:20

@PengThePenguin hi. My 10 month old is up too! Don't worry! Ur a great mum by the sounds of it and having patience really does pay off. Imagine if you got stressed that'd make her even more stressed! Keep calm, may sound silly but if my dd wakes up (hasn't for ages thank god because yes it is tiring ) I put her on my pillow and she'd fall asleep I'd give her ten minutes then place her back into the cot

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 20:22

The problem I'm experiencing currently is that she doesn't seem to be tired, she will wake up and she's literally WIDE awake, like sitting up crying, I go in and she will settle but she's too awake to go back down. It's an absolute nightmare Sad not gonna lie im completely dreading it tonight. Might just go to bed as soon as she's asleep

OP posts:
hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 20:27

How many naps does she have a day op? When does she get up?x

crispysausagerolls · 09/05/2019 20:30

My 10 month old is exactly the same and has been crawling for 3 months so I’m putting it down to teeth! Very tiring - he cosleeps so at least I can pop him on the breast and go back to sleep but even then I am tired and you are not alone!!!!

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 21:02

@hereforthegos she normally naps twice, 11am and 3pm then bed at 7pm. She's pretty regular and a good sleeper normally. She generally wakes up between 7 and 9am. She slept until 10am today but wasn't surprised with the lack of sleep last night.
She's still awake now but I think I'm almost on top of it she's quietening down now.

Today she only napped once, completely skipped the 11am (unsurprising). She tried to sleep at around 1pm but she was coughing and she ended up in a bit of a sad mess so didn't get much sleep then.

This is so exhausting. I've not been able to nap either because she's been awake all day.

OP posts:
hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 21:05

Okay so that's not too bad. Yes she'll be over tired as will you. U poor thing it's horrible having no sleep Sad maybe if you get her up earlier tomorrow she'll have first nap slightly earlier as her second. But how long are her naps usually? Like I said ur not alone I'm just getting dd to sleep myself Teething could play a bit part as said but it doesn't go on forever x

hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 21:07

No idea where I got teething from sorry Hmm

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 21:10

I guess I'll just have to see how the night goes? I let her sleep in this morning as I figured she needed it.
Nap length varies really but I'd say average of an hour. Sometimes more/less.

OP posts:
hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 21:12

Yeah you will. Every night is different. Hoping this one is a good one so you can rest😖 is she teething by any chance?

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 09/05/2019 21:23

I think so, she's been at it for months Sad and still no teeth! My DH has been fucking useless too, it's quite obvious I'm exhausted and he's been zero help. Feeling a bit frustrated I'm ashamed to say

OP posts:
hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 21:52

@PengThePenguin why is your dh not helping? Have you asked him too? Not that u should! I completely understand the frustration Ur tired. Baby won't sleep. And ur dh gets to do nothing and get sleep whilst your doing it all. Then u get stressed and fed up. U feel like it's a never ending cycle! But it will be. Just know she isn't trying to upsett you, and she might have some trying to come through you never know till they surface, how is she doing now? Is she sleeping?

hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 22:31

I hope you've had some success x

randomncftw · 09/05/2019 22:36

Read up on the 8-10 month sleep regression and please bear in mind it’s not her fault, however much you are struggling Flowers she is struggling too. Would she sleep in your bed? She probably has separation anxiety.

crispysausagerolls · 09/05/2019 22:43

DS up for the 5th time and absolutely not going back to sleep. Keeps rolling off the breast and into crawling position and crawling off then sitting. Exhausting. Despite being on holiday”D”H refusing to help want to make him sleep on floor very fucking unfair I am exhausted and you are not alone!!!!!!!!!!

hereforthegos · 09/05/2019 22:46

@crispysausagerolls your dh wants to make your son sleep on the floor!?? Or have I read that wrong!?

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