To ask for your help?

[PengThePenguin]

Good morning all,

I'm posting here for traffic so apologies in advance but I really need some help/guidance.

Our 10 m/o DD won't sleep. This is a new development - been going on for the last 4/5 days.

Tried to put her down at normal at 7pm - she had her story, seemed to settle - all good, then she started wailing so I go back up, resettle, back and forth for an hour, try all the usual stuff and nothing works. I take her back out of bed, downstairs and we chill on the sofa in darkened living room until 9pm. She then went down ok and one wake up.

Slept until 12 - woke up, settled with milk
1am- awake, settled with dummy (not been working for a while (refusing) so surprised it did)
2am - awake settled again with milk
3am - we're still awake.

I think she's teething and I've given her calpol.
She doesn't want to lie in her cot, cries and rolls over when I put her down.
Currently sat on her bedroom floor with her feeling like I'm a massive failure because I just don't know how to help her

Any help or advice is appreciated.

Sorry I was rambling as enraged - I want DH to sleep on the floor (he’s not obvs) because he is refusing to help out getting DS back to sleep

Hello again, DH not helping because I think he just doesn't have a clue what to do, he seems to think I have all the answers, which I absolutely do not.
I slept from 9 ish to 12:30am - I told him I needed rest and he had to listen out for DD, which he did. I was woken up at 12:30 by DD screaming & DH going to "help" by which he didn't help and he gave up and came back to bed when his tactic of looking at her didn't stop her wailing. Shock.

So, she has just fallen asleep again after and hour and a bit of rocking, soothing, feeding, etc.

I'd love to co sleep but I'm scared of her getting squashed by DH and he absolutely would roll on her without knowing. I just don't dare risk it.

I don't blame DD at all - I feel sorry for her and I think that makes the frustration worse, I think it's more feeling helpless tbh

How was your night from 1.30/2am onwards? At least there was at 3.5 hour stretch of sleep in there - that’s something.

I would try cosleeping. My DH has never rolled on DS and he doesn’t spend much time with him so isn’t super “atune” - they just seem to be aware. And if you are really worried then I’m sorry but your DH can bloody sleep somewhere else for this bad patch and you and baby have the bed and get some more sleep, if he’s being useless. Which is sounds like he is (again, my sympathies).

Patchy sleep from there really. I think I said in Pp it took me an hour to get her settled. Then it was intermittent sleep from then on, she would wake/murmur probably once an hour. Her coughing wasn't too bad last night so that's something at least.
Last night was definitely better but still not the best.

He is useless with her. It's like he doesn't even try.
When he went into her last night I know he'd taken milk, which she didn't want, it just made her cry and cough more, then he tried a dummy, which she's been refusing for weeks so there was now way she was going to take that. When she was in such a state that he felt he had run out of options he just got back in bed I asked him if he'd bothered to pick her up - "No".
You've made things worse, She's fucking distraught and now I've got to sort her because you're wank.
To be fair, I suppose he tried, half heartedly.

He flounced downstairs at 9am after his peaceful nights sleep, gave me a cheery "Morning" - I feel like I could happily never see his face again right now.

How's it going tonight op?

So far a bit iffy but better than last night.

DH had her this evening as I had an appointment 6-7:30pm. She went to bed at around 7:45 - no tears and straight off.

She's woken up twice since, had some calpol and cuddles. DH has done both crying episodes, I guess he must have got the message that he was complete crap last night!

Oh bless. So she has a cold then? I was reading through some comments and was thinking your dh should be helping I am glad he has. He's got the message but don't let him forget it! Lol!

Yeah, she's developed a cough, it's worse today. I think it must have brewing the night this all started. She sounds really phlegmy tonight she needs a really good cough.

Oh poor baby:( my baby hasn't been ill yet! I hope she gets better soon op. Stay strong she needs u as tiring as it is x

I would definitely try cosleeping and just have her next to you and not DP. You can get bedguards so no risk of falling out the other side. Otherwise ride it out and it DOES get a lot better after a year xx

My eldest (now 4.5 yrs - so it does end I promise) went through a weird stage at 10 months of waking in the night and being awake for hours on end. The only way we stayed sane was for DH and I to take turns of taking him into the spare room and being half awake with him cuddled up on the bed. He wasn't asleep but at least we were semi resting. We would take turns daily as I tried to do it all myself (I was on maternity leave) and after a significant number of nights solo I was physically and mentally exhausted. It didn't last long but was tortuous. Share the burden if you can.

This is the first time she's been properly ill so we're kind of making it up as we go along.

She was doing quite well last night, she was settling easier. She woke up at around 11pm and she sounded very chesty, so we raised the head end of her mattress which helped and she went back to sleep really quick.

She woke me again at just gone 1am, she was wet through with sick so I got her out, changed her and we went to sleep together. Again it was intermittent and I feel knackered. She seems happy in her self this morning though, which is something.