Funny things you see on online dating:

[marmiters]

I've recently started OLD and noticed a few recurring funny things:

• men posing with fish (why?)
• "looking for a woman who respects herself " (aka never speaks to other men and wouldn't dare wear a low cut top)
• fun luvin' guy lkn 4 mre thn jst a 1 nyt stand

It's a minefield!

Anyone else got any?

I saw one in the paper for an elderly man that stated ‘....own home and poodle.’

Neither have i as i have a DH but the threads on here have certainly opened my eyes over the last few years

Kind honourable gentlemen seem to be extinct now which is a real shame.

OLD is not for the faint of heart! Woman who respects herself, a homely woman are awful.
I always cringed at i like the finer things in life.

The converse of the fish is the almost infinite number of women on OLD who have a user name based on their cat, pictures of their cats and details of their cats plastered all over their profile.

I met my current partner on a dating app and he's rather lovely - but his profile picture was about a decade old and he knocked the same amount off his age. However, as he's an actor, that's par the course anyway!

The worst ones I saw, not funny, just grim, were the men who posed with their kids. Just so creepy and I always wondered what their mother thought.

That is the kids mother. Not the blokes mother.

I haven’t online dated as met dh early on but I’ve friends that do and often when they are here, they show me profiles/who they are swiping on etc

Yes I notice the fish pictures, You’ve out witted a fish well done, but has any lady ever been impressed by it???

Men who have pictures of the children up on the profile. I don’t like it and my friend says that’s a no no for her

Men that say No crazy bitches

Men that say I won’t be sending dick pics so don’t ask (with his face I really doubt any woman has ever asked for a picture of his dick to be honest 😂)

My friend used POF for a while and got lots of do you want some sausage? Type messages. Vile little men

The ladies with cats love and look after them, but the men with fish - well they've killed them, evil sods! I'd be tempted by the man with own poodle 🐩 though, I love poodles!

Men who feel like they can say absolutely anything they wish to women online - they wouldn't dream of saying it in real life but feel they can on there. Also i was 23 when online dating I got messages from 48 year old men... Like really pal!?

Mushroom helmet!! Dear god.

"Huge foreskin/mushroom helmet stories" 🤣🤣🤣

I find it weird when men pose with their kids. Especially when they're still married! As evidenced by the wedding ring on display. Or their wedding picture with the wife chopped out...

Men with fish
Men dressed up in an over sized Disney character costume
Men giving the thumbs up whilst standing in their hall with their asda shopping delivery
Pub toilet mirror selfie
Not funny: the fecking amount of married men. I'm so bored and pissed off with it. They are blatant. I'd like to post their profiles and photos somewhere (yiabu)

Dibs on poodle man!

Profile pictures with their ex cropped out. Like their arm ends at their smellbow

Kids in photos

In cycling gear

Group photos where you can't tell which bloody one he is. Like, you hope he's the good looking one on the left, but he's probably the weirdo with the lampshade on his head.
😆

And yes, the fish

The smellbow reference😂

The fish.
They all ski.
The man who looked like he was in a hired suit in a toilet selfie with a very shiney wedding ring.......
The man who had 20 pictures, 18 of them as his cross dressing alter ego who had better legs and eyebrows that I could ever hope for (the picture of him in high heels in a skateboard - I kid you not!)
The guy with the beat up face that looked like it had been taken in police custody.

When i worked in a sex chatline office in the early 2000s there was an option for "customers" to send photos to a P.O. Box should they want to.

Now i know what these kind of men do with these pics instead.

Better a fish pic. than the one of them dangling their maggot. Busy concocting a mushroom tale now. Would it be too forward for my first short message to read “consider this the tip” ?

I think I would prefer to be single, just me and my rabbit

And this is why I've so far avoided online dating.

It's something I'd like to try but I'd have no idea where to start but the sheer crazy that the online aspect seems to bring out is enough to make me run a mile before even signing up.

@HelenaDove You cannot leave us hanging now, more stories about working for a sex chatline please

@HelenaDove what happened with the pictures?! Did they call up and say 'get my photo yesterday of the fish?'

I think the fish thing is because that is literally the only time some guys get their photo taken by someone else.

That, and weddings. Often their own.

CountAthursGroupie Me too. I am married but I might also be tempted by poodle man. My fantasy dog is a black standard poodle.