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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To own house as joint tenants when he has children from other relationship

58 replies

OhDearMrsSmith · 08/05/2019 16:58

Me and DH own our house as joint tenants rather than tenants in common meaning if one of us dies, the other will have sole ownership of the house.

My friend today expressed her utter shock at this as my DH has children from a previous relationship.

AIBU to think if everyone involved is happy with this arrangement there is nothing wrong?

My husband has various assets in his own name that will be left to his children according to his will but we agreed that the house is ours and should pass to the survivor in the event of one of our deaths.

For info, I don't and can't have children.

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 08/05/2019 17:01

As your DH has other assets that he's passing to his children, then I can't see why you can't have the house. It's something that's been agreed between you, so your friend needs to keep her beak out.

Pipandmum · 08/05/2019 17:02

I don’t understand the issue. If you die he gets the house. If he then dies (presumably) his kids get the house. What is your friend thinking - that she should get the house?!?

LakieLady · 08/05/2019 17:02

I think that's entirely reasonable.

DP has a son and a grandaughter but I don't have any children. Our house is held as joint tenants.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/05/2019 17:03

As long as you know you are protected should he die and the he knows his kids are then what is the problem?

I am assuming you both walked into that arrangement with your eyes open and have no problem with it! If either of you have second thoughts then you can discuss it and make any necessary changes.

Pipandmum · 08/05/2019 17:04

Oh I see - was she objecting to you getting the house if he dies? None of her business.

Whatamistakewhatamistake · 08/05/2019 17:04

It’s entirely Reasonable. Your home owned by and assuming you both pay for it. Why should his kids automatically get it when he passes?

QueenAnneBoleyn · 08/05/2019 17:04

YANBU. We’ve just done this.
DH has two kids from previous relationship and we have one child together.
In the event of one of us going, the other gets sole ownership. We’ve stated in the will what there is to provide for all three kids til they reach a certain age. The three of them then inherit the estate when whoever is left dies.

TheCrowFromBelow · 08/05/2019 17:04

If they are joint tenants then if he dies OP gets his share in the house.
Otherwise she would have to sell to give her DP’s DCs their share.
It’s none of your friend’s business.

ScreamScreamIceCream · 08/05/2019 17:05

The issue is if he dies before they are 18 then they would be disinherited. Otherwise who cares.

Original poster
OhDearMrsSmith · 08/05/2019 17:05

She says that his 50% should be left to his kids if he were to die. That's what her and her husband have done to protect her daughter's inheritance.

My DHs kids will have inheritance! He owns two other houses in his sole name which are theirs in his will. It's only this house that would go to me.

Obviously if I died, he could give whatever he wanted to his children!

Apparently if he dies, I could meet someone else and then his kids won't have anything from our house.

I feel a bit odd talking about everyone's theoretical deaths but it's really pissed me off!

OP posts:
lunar1 · 08/05/2019 17:06

Are his other assets worth enough for the children's mum to cover maintenance and raise them comfortably? Will it also give them something towards university or a deposit?

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 08/05/2019 17:06

I think it's fine as he has other assets, just out of interest if you inherit his half (ie you outlive him) who would you leave the house to?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/05/2019 17:06

Then he should take care to write a good will, use a trust etc etc. Maybe he has!

But really the friend has no reason to butt in.

ScreamScreamIceCream · 08/05/2019 17:07

@TheCrowFromBelow you make a trust giving the other partner life time interest in your share. So only on their death do the children inherit that.

One of my friends' has this so she doesn't inherit until her stepfather is deceased.

lunar1 · 08/05/2019 17:07

Sorry we posted at the same time. I think they will be fine if they are getting a house each!!

ScreamScreamIceCream · 08/05/2019 17:08

If he has multiple houses then the will is fine.

Alsohuman · 08/05/2019 17:08

Two houses should do it!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/05/2019 17:08

Well, that all sounds fine to me! Your repsective situations are different, you have dalt with them differently.

Should he mention it again tell her to shut up and mind her own business.

A nice breezy Well, it works for us! head tilt tinkly laugh - that kind of thing!

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 08/05/2019 17:08

I'm guessing your friend is thinking that if your dh dies first then the house will eventually go to whoever is named in your will or if there is no will to your next of kin, maybe your sibling or a future spouse and his children might never inherit his share of the property. If he is OK with that then its no-one else's business. Of course if you named them as beneficiaries in your will then they would inherit.

MRex · 08/05/2019 17:09

Would you leave his half to his children in your will? That would seem the fairest solution.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 08/05/2019 17:12

If you divorce it wouldn't matter if it was tenants in common anyway as once you're married everything goes in the pot

If you don't have kids of your own who else are you likely to want to inherit a share of the house - and put that in the will

It's only really an issue if you have kids from a previous marriage and by leaving the house to DH he could change his will after your death and disinherit your kids

Mitzimaybe · 08/05/2019 17:12

It sounds fine to me. Otherwise if he dies first his kids could make you homeless unless you could afford to buy them out. What does your "friend" say to that? She's happy for you to be homeless so his kids can have two and a half houses between them instead of just two? No thank you.

Original poster
OhDearMrsSmith · 08/05/2019 17:17

Friend has a life long interest clause as mentioned above so that her husband can stay until his death.

In the event of my death, I wouldn't leave everything to his children. I have nieces and nephews who would benefit.

OP posts:
Whatamistakewhatamistake · 08/05/2019 17:21

I’m in almost identical situation. If I die after him his children won’t inherit the house as I’ll leave it to nieces and nephews.

CripsSandwiches · 08/05/2019 17:23

I think it's none of anyone else's business. I know Fil who is remarried to a woman who has kids has a set up where if one of them die the house would have to be sold and the deceased person's kids would inherit their half. (There would be enough money left for the surviving spouse to buy a decent house for themselves). I thought this was fairly normal but we would Definitely not have complained had they done it another way so the other partner could remain in the house. Would seem a bit unfair though if only the longest living partner's kids inherited the house (still their decision though).