to feel bitter that these men have such nice lives ?

[TheOriginalNutty]

I have two main ex's. Ex1 was a complete tosser whilst we were together and has remained as such, with me and our dc, and his other dc. After we split, he dipped in and out of work (mainly out) and so paid little to nothing for his children, and I've since had a letter saying he wont be chased for it.
He now lives abroad with his new wife. She works full time in a well paid job and he does't work at all. He spends his days sight seeing or doing fuck all.
Btw he left the UK without telling his dc he was going.

Ex2 - Is the very definition of the word Narcissist. He got inside my head for the 2 years we were (on and off) together, and he crushed my self esteem and confidence. He then got back with his ex and moved her and his dc to live by the coast (where me and him had spoken about moving to) and is now living happily ever after having cream teas and days at the beach, and only working part time cos of some big inheritance.

My life is ok. I have family and good friends and i'm just about to start a new job, but it has been a huge struggle. Money is always an issue and two of the dc have had significant MH problems, meaning I have often had to give up doing things to be there for them.

I just feel like both men completely fucked with my life and are now out living their best lives without a care in the world.
I know I sound jealous and yeh I probably am a bit, but more than that I just feel angry that things have worked out so well for them.

I wouldn't want to be back with either of them btw, and feel quite sorry for the women that they are with, but I kind of want to stamp my feet and shout it's not fair LOL.

Life is unfair. Some crap people luck out, and some good people never get a break. You can’t change that so stop wasting your time thinking about it.

No, YANBU.

Hopefully karma will get them in the end

You are right Pip, it’s just hard to not think about it sometimes.

Fightthebear that’s what I’m hoping 😊

My scuzzy ex ended up marrying a millionaire. It does feel unfair but all you can do is focus on yourself and your kids (and hope that one day a piano falls on each of these men from a great height).

Life is unfair and its so annoying when you see things work out perfectly for other people who happen to always stumble into some luck. Yanbu have some and forget about them

Daffodil that must be so bloody annoying.
I do believe that one day karma will strike them but I just wish it would hurry up lol

I think I need to concentrate more on how far I have come since not being with them and that the things I have are worth far more than money or creams teas lol.

Ex1 has to access (through his choice and actions) to his kids. Would you really swop that?

Sillysmiles - did you mean no access ?
He does though. After a huge shit storm after he left, most of which I had to sort, both dds now regularly speak to him and dd2 has visited.
Ds though has an awful relationship with him and yes you are right that is nothing to be jealous of.

YANBU I haven't even lived through it but it pisses me off to read about it. I know it sounds corny but at least you're a good person and don't have to know it the back of your mind you're a dick. In twenty years time you'll be the one the kids spend time with - I wouldn't be surprised if both these men end up living alone.

Also, remember you're only seeing one side of their life (social media presumably?) For all you know they may have lots of shit going on, be arguing and fighting every day, have money problems etc. But it's not like they'll tell you/show you that side.

YANBU to feel a little bitter but they're the past, gone, finished, good riddance. You're in control of what life and choices you make now so go for what you want! (Which is not to be bitter and twisted and envious).

How on earth do you know all this? If it’s social media delete and block. Why would you torture yourself like this?

They are not nice men, they are not capable of having nice lives.

I guarantee you such miserable shitbags are ugly on the inside, their lives may appear enviable but they are incapable of enjoying their luck, because they are dickheads.

I do actually think both men will end up living alone and that’s no less than they deserve.

The dc tell me about their dads life and ex2 likes to make fake profiles and contact me periodically to boast.

Get up again - you are so so right.

They sound like shits.
You're well rid and presumably have taken on the lesson of not having kids with arseholes.

Chewbecca - I am doing that I promise, hence the new job 😊 think I was just having a ‘ffs’ day today lol

Redsuitcase- only had children with ex1 thankfully 😊

I have no plans to get in a relationship with anyone for the foreseeable, tosser or otherwise 😊

I so relate to your post. I was TTC with my husband for 18 months when I caught him having an affair. After a lot of game playing, we separated and he had a baby with the OW. He even called his son the name we had chosen if we had had a son. He took me for every penny he could in the divorce and for various reasons my family sided with him.
I now am remarried with 2 children and perfectly happy, but still feel hate towards my EH. Especially given he got the house and still lives there with her!
I know it’s wasted energy but I’m still waiting for the day their relationship falls apart. It has to right?! I will sporadically ask friends from their town for an update with fingers crossed. Karma is taking its time.

I’ve got a rich ex who is also a total fucking scumbag too. Most of his wealth stems from being born at the right time, just before I was and things changed.... so he had no student debt, brought a house for about six quid in a crap part of the capital which is now worth £500k etc. It’s not fair, he wrecked my head and life, but no amount of money can make him not have to live with himself or not have a black soul. Console yourself with that OP.

Millie - that is awful, what a bastard.

See this is why I've tried to believe in God but just can't. All the 'testimonies' about how God sorted out their (often trivial) life problems- when really we all know that the people whose lives continued to be shit never stand up to give their testimony about how God has left them in the shitter.

Its' just so random that sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't and sometimes good things happen to bad people, and bad things to good and its SO BLOODY UNFAIR and it is so manifestly obvious that it is completely random and there is not a good God directing things for the best behind the scenes.

Whoof - sorry - rant over. Just had to get that off my chest.

Iknowyou - yeh you are right. Ex2 particularly is a nasty piece of work and has no soul I don’t think. A lot of his family already don’t speak to him because of how he is.

Oh well - yep I’m totally with you there. I’ve never really believed in god anyway.