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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to travel alone?

48 replies

Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 16:23

To want to travel alone?

I really want to go travelling on my own for two weeks, just me! It would be long haul and it’s something that would really push me, I suffer from a range of MH illness so doing this would be a huge accomplishment for me,

I also wouldn’t be able for many reason to do this with my husband as he’s disabled and physically he wouldn’t be able too, so going together isn’t an option.

Can I? Should I? Would you?

OP posts:
Kiltartan · 08/05/2019 16:24

Yes, absolutely. I've had some of the best times of my life travelling alone.

Pipandmum · 08/05/2019 16:26

Yes why not? As long as your husband can cope on his own or with help go for it.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 08/05/2019 16:34

Yes, yes, yes. I travelled alone for years (starting when I was about 17) and it is way better than travelling with someone you know. You get to meet more people and get a huge sense of achievement and boost of confidence when you manage to get somewhere alone and find somewhere to stay, eat out, etc. You can decide just what you want to do each day. You might find you are worried about it just before you leave and get a bit anxious - you will be fine once you get there. Well worth the effort. (Remember saying to my mum before I boarded an intercontinental train on my first lone overseas trip, not knowing where I would stay when I got to destination, that I didn't want to go now but I'd told everyone at work so I had to!).

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 16:36

Wow I really didn’t think people would say yes!

I haven’t talked about with my husband he’s quite controlling so I have a feeling it will turn into an argument,

But I really want to do this!

OP posts:
Looobyloo · 08/05/2019 16:40

Go! I suffer with anxiety and struggle meeting new people but whenever I travel, as nervous as I get, as soon as I'm in the destination airport I feel such a sense of freedom. I always meet lots of people too.

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 16:43

I’m so excited just thinking about it, I would be going to place I’ve been before so that’s reassuring, I just have a feeling my husband will not let me! :(

Im in awe of you all that have done it! Grin

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 08/05/2019 16:48

Sure, why not? I've been to lots of places on my own.

There are places I wouldn't choose to travel as a lone woman, but there's plenty of places I feel perfectly safe, and if you're going somewhere you already know, that's even better.

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 17:01

I would be going to Australia, is that crazy?

Thank you everyone who has commented Flowers

OP posts:
ThinkingFeeling · 08/05/2019 17:05

I've travelled alone in Ghana, Sri Lanka and India.

I had nothing negative happen at all and loved it. The world is pretty safe as long as you're street smart and listen to your gut.

Australia I'd imagine would be great fun, book it and go!

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 17:12

Wow I’d love to go to India,

Think I need to talk to my husband, I’m just scared he’s going to ruin

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 17:13

Oops stupid phone

....ruin this dream for me :(

(His controlling behaviour is another thread all together)

OP posts:
leomama81 · 08/05/2019 17:23

He doesn't have to say yes OP, he's not your dad or your boss! I'm with the others, I've travelled all over on my own and it's great. Don't ask him, tell him you are going, in a loving way, but firmly. And then have a brilliant time!

EnormousDormouse · 08/05/2019 17:25

Aus would be a great place for a first solo trip.
What sort of trip are you planning?
If you are thinking of a budget/backpacker/independent style adventure you will find hostels and simple hotels will have lots of people in the same situation and you will spark up conversations easily and the hotel will be very used to helping people set up onward travel and activities
I've also done posher jaunts on my own and enjoyed being anonymous and just vegging out.
Do it! do it! do it!

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 17:25

Thank you xx

I know I just need to tell him my plans but I know he will rip them all apart 😢

Anyone have any travel tips?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 17:27

Dormouse, I was thinking hostel (due to budget mainly) its a hostel I’ve been too twice before,

I’ve backpacked before in Oz, so was thinking that as it would only be for few weeks,

:)

OP posts:
ThinkingFeeling · 08/05/2019 17:31

You really don't need your DH's permission.

If he's the type to rip your plans to shreads then I would be leaving for Oz. and not coming back.

SnowsInWater · 08/05/2019 17:37

Australia is easy as a lone traveller, it is a very friendly place. I am happy to meet for coffee/wine if you come to Sydney depending on where I am in my breast cancer treatment regime 😐 When are you thinking of travelling? If it is Winter here you are best heading North to Queensland or the Northern Territory if you want warm weather. Don't let a controlling husband spoil your dream.

Singapore is a great place for a stopover if you want to break the journey and would be fine on your own. If you fly with Singapore Airlines (my favourite airline UK to Aus) you can do an overnight stay for a few dollars. On the other hand Etihed have really good deals on at the moment if the sale dates suit. I have flown with them and they are pretty good but they transit through Abu Dhabi which isn't my favourite.

SnowsInWater · 08/05/2019 17:38

Just saw you have been before so you kow what to expect. Hostels have certainly come a long way over the years in terms of facilities 😊

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 17:46

It would be North Queensland (cairns) has was thinking April/May/June early July next year, I’m quite flexible on when,

Good luck with your cancer treatment Flowers

Thinkingfeeling, his behaviour is one of the reasons I need to do something on my own :(

OP posts:
hazell42 · 08/05/2019 17:53

Is it really travelling you want, or is it out of your marriage?
Having been married to a controlling man myself, I would say the chances of him being happy about this are slim to none. However, you have the right to go travelling, and you have the right to leave a controlling husband.
If what you want is time away from him to assess your marriage do that too.
I ditched the husband and then found that I wanted to go travelling. up til then I had convinced myself I wasnt interested, because he wasn't interested and it wasn't worth the aggro..
Have been to some great places and.met some fantastic people in the last 10 years, but ditching the husband was step.one.

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 18:00

I want to go travelling for something for me, to allow myself some time if that makes sense. But I think it would be a good time to think about what I really want from life,

But, I haven’t ruled out leaving him at some point in the future!

I think he would want to go but his disability stops him & I think he’s going to get huffy because he wants too

OP posts:
SlowStarters · 08/05/2019 18:13

What sorts of behaviours of your DH are controlling, OP? You might need a new thread for some advice, I feel this may be a deep issue for you?

Original poster
Flowersbythesea68 · 08/05/2019 18:18

Slow, i definitely need a new thread for his behaviour, I might at one point make one,

but I’m glad I started this one I was thinking I was stupid to even consider doing something like travelling on my own,

I’m going to think a little more about it and if I can financially do it then I’m going to talk to him about it & we shall see

Cake
OP posts:
fargo123 · 09/05/2019 09:20

Definitely do it!

I once did a solo trip to a few countries on the other side of the world. During my second week I met a girl who lived only a few suburbs away from me in our home country. Through a series of pre-booked coincidences we found ourselves meeting in other countries over the next few weeks. 25 years later we're still great friends in our home country. Smile

juneau · 09/05/2019 09:26

Do it! It sounds like a great idea and by going to a familiar country you'll have a sense of security in that, which is ideal for a first lone trip.

And don't 'ask' him, tell him. You're an adult. You don't need his permission.

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