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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that my inheritance should be mine? (divorce)

76 replies

gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 13:33

Divorcing my husband at the moment, after an acrimonious break up 5 years ago. I've also inherited a substantial sum from the death of my father 3 years ago. I haven't recieved the sum from my father's estate yet, as the executor is a family member and has held off tranferring it because of divorce. My solicitor today said they think it is likely that the inheritance would be included in the pool of assets considered during the divorce. How can this be? My father would have absolutely not wanted the money to go to my ex husband.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 08/05/2019 14:48

A will can be changed after a death by a deed of variation.

PianoTuner567 · 08/05/2019 14:50

You don’t need a second opinion! The solicitor has told you his opinion on what’s likely to happen. A second solicitor might give you a different opinion but it’s entirely irrelevant either way because neither of them gets to decide. The judge does.

Original poster
gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 14:51

there must be loopholes!

OP posts:
ifonly4 · 08/05/2019 14:52

If you think you'll have enough money to live on following the divorce, you should be legally able to transfer funds to your children, to be held until they reach a certain age. Even if it's a small gift, say £5,000 each, your father may well have preferred that and it would take the pressure off you when they're older and need funds for futher education, car for work etc. Your sister is the Executor, ask her to look into it - if a solicitor is acting, I'm surprised they haven't come up with this as an option.

ImNotNigel · 08/05/2019 14:54

If you lived in Scotland, all assets are separate at the point of separation (called the relevant date), so you'd be ok if you were in Scotland

In Scots Law, an inheritance isn’t a marital asset unless you have brought it into the marriage eg by using it to buy a car or holiday home in both your names or which you both use.

I know the Op lives in England but I mention this as a point of information.

PlatypusPie · 08/05/2019 14:56

An inheritance is not an automatic part of a marital pot, unless it is made so by putting it into a joint account. BUT it can be considered, together with all other assets, when making a fair settlement to both parties ie when considering how to fund two homes rather than one, for example , if other assets including the sale of the family home, would not achieve this.

As described by my solicitor when we were having a marital wobble. (England)

The end result could be that an inheritance to one party is split but it’s not automatic - other factors are taken into account.

PlatypusPie · 08/05/2019 14:59
  • When I say putting it into a joint account, I mean also making it a joint assets in other ways as referenced by ImNotNigel
floraloctopus · 08/05/2019 15:06

Did you have a deed of separation drawn up? I did this as it meant that any assets gained after the separation were not part of the pot to be considered on divorce. We did a financial settlement as part of that and so it protected assets later. If not then the money will be part of the divorce fund if you are in England.

JAPAB · 08/05/2019 15:11

Even if you were still together I would not see why inheritence is a "marital asset". It really doesn't have anything to do with the spouse, not even in the most distant and round-a-bout way, unlike with most other assets people aquire.

Morally I think husband should give back any of it that is given to him.

insecure123 · 08/05/2019 15:11

It is not as black and white as some posters are making out. yes it will be "considered" but that doesn't mean he will get half, or any of it. Get another opinion from another solicitor if you aren't too confident in this one. Get everything you can together to prove that you had been seperated for a considerable time before the inheritance and that you were living seperate lives and seperate finances etc. I had a similar situation and didn't have to part with any of it......

myhamsteratefreddiestarr · 08/05/2019 15:15

Inheritance is not always included in a divorce if it is received after separation. In your case, if you can prove separation and also prove they he refused a divorce then you may be able to leave it out of the joint pot.

Personally I don't think that anything either of you did/gained after separation should be included, but that's just my thoughts.

My friend didn't have to pay her XH any of her inheritance as she could prove they had split well before she received it.

You do need a second opinion , I would post in LEGAL MATTERS rather than AIBU. You need professional LEGAL advice, not personal opinion.

crimsonlake · 08/05/2019 15:35

For a start why is he paying you ad hoc money towards the children?
It is too late now, but assuming you knew you would eventually inherit from your father I would have made sure upon separation that the finances were promptly sorted.
There is no point saying he would have dragged his feet, made things awkward etc, it should have and could have been done.
What was the length of marriage?

LemonTT · 08/05/2019 15:37

I would assume the ex knows her father died and she was likely to have been a beneficiary. He or his solicitor can be expected check. The asset will be uncovered. It will then be taken into consideration. The OP can set fire to it, but it will still be a sum of money she received which her ex can reference in his offer to her.

No solicitor is going to advise her to be deceitful or to lie or to conceal.

KurriKurri · 08/05/2019 15:47

I received an inheritance two weeks before my xh ran off with another woman (he and other woman deliberately waited until i'd received it because he wanted half)
It wasn;t put in the matrimonial pot - it was ringfenced and excludede because it was after the marital breakdown.
Things aren;t automatically put in the pot, things aren't automatically divided 50/50 everything shared equally. Talk to your lawyer and state what you think is reasonable - then they can begin a negotiation process. However acrimonious, he may well want to try to reach an agreement to save court costs which are huge.

Original poster
gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 16:13

20 years marriage.

divorce not sorted and payments ad hoc as ex said he would bankrupt business if i tried to divorce

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/05/2019 16:19

Stop panickng over it.

If you have proof that is what he said make sure your SHL has it.

When your finances get scrutinised make sure the dates are clear and that the judge knows your inheritance came after your relationship broke down.

That's all you can do.

swingofthings · 08/05/2019 16:32

He threatens to go bankrupt so you get nothing, distribution of father's assets is on hold on the hope you'd get it after the divorce.

Sounds like you both want to hold on to your own wealth. Can you agree that he doesn't touch the inheritance and you don't touch his business, house divided 50/50 after your youngest turning 18?

Or do you want a good chunk of the business wealth and to keep all your inheritance?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/05/2019 16:37

Or do you want a good chunk of the business wealth and to keep all your inheritance? The law says that if all things are equal he will keep the business and she will keep the inheritance, which is probably why her solicitor said it had to be included.

As it is her stbex is keeping his business...

Queenie8 · 08/05/2019 16:38

OP I was in the same situation, but mine was from my DGM, she died during the divorce process and Form E etc. Mine was NOT included. My solicitor was useless, and I advise getting a second opinion. But I didn't receive the funds until I had my Decree Absolute.

Ellisandra · 08/05/2019 16:42

What has your solicitor actually said?

There’s a difference between “that’s a marital asset, we need to declare it” and “we need to declare it, and he’ll get a chunk of it” and “we need to declare it, he’ll go after it, but this this and THIS are the arguments we’re going to give why he can’t keep his wanker hands off it”.

TeacupDrama · 08/05/2019 17:01

if she gave away an inheritance could they consider it as deliberate impoverishment just like him going bankrupt and therefore still count it as if she was having it within settlement

Missingstreetlife · 08/05/2019 17:31

Future assets will be considered too, pensions, likely earnings. Is he going to inherit. You may get a chunk of his pension and court will see thru deliberate hiding, disposal of assets.

ChocOrCheese · 08/05/2019 17:54

Other posters have covered it really - there is a risk that he may get a portion of it but you do need a solicitor who knows their stuff and will fight for you.

This is a cautionary tale - if anyone separates or is having matrimonial difficulties then their parents or others who may leave them money should consider changing their wills until everything is sorted, so the money is protected.

callmeadoctor · 09/05/2019 18:33

Why did he previously not want a divorce, OP?

Ss770640 · 02/11/2019 22:18

Like previous posters.

Under Scots law the inheritance will be excluded from the marital pot as the law is written.

You don't say which country you live.

Always take legal advice as they know best.

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