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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that my inheritance should be mine? (divorce)

76 replies

gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 13:33

Divorcing my husband at the moment, after an acrimonious break up 5 years ago. I've also inherited a substantial sum from the death of my father 3 years ago. I haven't recieved the sum from my father's estate yet, as the executor is a family member and has held off tranferring it because of divorce. My solicitor today said they think it is likely that the inheritance would be included in the pool of assets considered during the divorce. How can this be? My father would have absolutely not wanted the money to go to my ex husband.

OP posts:

Fairylea · 08/05/2019 14:08

I think if you can prove you’ve been separated and seeking a divorce since the inheritance has come about you might have a leg to stand on otherwise it will go into a pot and split as martial asset. Happened to me when I got divorced!

CanILeavenowplease · 08/05/2019 14:09

Sorry but it will go into the pot and will be divided between you, like all other marital assets

Not quite how it works. With an inheritence that a) exists (hasn't already been spent) and b) was received post-break up, there would be an attempt not to include it in the divorce process. In other words, if the couple have sufficient resources between them for re-housing, getting on with life, pension provision etc. it wouldn't be included. It may alternatively be considered in relation to the OP only - so she may need less from the marital pot because she has an inheritence to fall back on. If the couple hasn't any resources and her ex is disabled and unlikely to work again and the children live with him then absolutely, the inheritence may be included as a joint asset. Depends massively on what the starting point is.

Whatever you do, OP, be wary of not declaring the inheritence you are due and be sure you seek advice if that's the path you intend to take.

bodgersmash · 08/05/2019 14:10

Get a second opinion, preferably from a SHL.

SavingSpaces2019 · 08/05/2019 14:12

Should have divorced him 5 years ago then.
I bet if the situation were reversed you would be expecting a cut of his inheritance as your 'right'.

AdoraBell · 08/05/2019 14:16

Definitely get a second opinion.

IAmTheChosenOne · 08/05/2019 14:17

You can decline the inheritance you know, you can jump a generation and put it in a trust for your children that you have access to. Perfectly legal.

EboWen · 08/05/2019 14:19

Sorry All, I didn't realise I had hijacked a thread, I'm new to this, my sincere apologies!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/05/2019 14:19

It happens Ebo panic not

Outnumb3red · 08/05/2019 14:23

I think it's unfair that inheritance is classed as a matrimonial asset at all. And especially given that you inherited 2 years after you split.
In Scotland inheritance is not deemed to be a marital asset even when received during the marriage, provided it isn't 'converted' ie its paid into a sole account and not into a joint or used to buy marital assets. Etc etc
If you inherit after the date of seperation it's not considered at all.

LemonTT · 08/05/2019 14:23

A will cannot be changed once the person bequeathing the money has died.

She has been advised to declare it. No point not doing that.

MaiaRindell · 08/05/2019 14:25

It depends where you live, OP. I inherited a large sum of money after I separated and it wasn't included in the marital assets. We didn't divorce until around a year after I inherited the money. The only money and assets that were taken into account were those on the day we separated.

Original poster

gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 14:29

I haven't actually got the money yet, it is still in my late father's estate. My sister is the executor . If the money never came to me and was transferred to my sister or other sibling then would that work? Or because I'm named the law does it have to come to me? or could I just give it away, or give it to charity?

Been formally separated for 5 years, different houses, he has a new partner. Not divorced as he threatened to shut his business down and go bankrupt so I would get nothing if I divorced him. Now he's decided he wants a divorce so we're divorcing.

OP posts:

Original poster

gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 14:31

I live in england. Father didn't die until 2 years after separation. Inheritance still in father's estate.

OP posts:

Hopeygoflightly · 08/05/2019 14:33

Get a 2nd opinion - did you get a financial separation order when you split? If you've had completely separate circumstances since the split you probably get to keep it - or have you still been paying a joint mortgage etc?

It depends on other assets - are you going after a portion of ex-DH's pension for example? If so a judge might deem it fair that he gets to keep that while you take inheritance.

stucknoue · 08/05/2019 14:33

I think you may have a case for it to be disregarded if you had already formally separated. Of course the simplest thing if for you to come toa amicable financial settlement and not involve the court in splitting your assets

Original poster

gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 14:33

Situation is

I have custody of 3 children and can work only part time because of this. We live in marital home.

He has own company (which I helped him build up as I looked after his home and children while he worked ) and rents his home. Currently pays me ad hoc money.

OP posts:

Hopeygoflightly · 08/05/2019 14:34

cross post OP - sounds like you've been so separate that you'll be okay. Get the divorce done NOW tho... as quickly as possible.

Cheeseandwin5 · 08/05/2019 14:34

To be fair, if you were my husband and had received an inheritance before the divorce was finalised, I would expect it to be part of the asset split. All these things are not yours or his but both.

Innernutshell · 08/05/2019 14:34

Everyone is entitled to decide not to inherit - so it could go to charity or you could do a deed of variation and decide who you would like the money to go to so for example you can give it direct to your DC or anyone you wanted.

FizzyGreenWater · 08/05/2019 14:36

DEFINITELY get a second opinion.

If you were formally separated for a couple of years before your Dad died, then you might get it excluded.

HollowTalk · 08/05/2019 14:37

I hope you get this sorted, OP. I hate to think of this man getting half your inheritance.

bengalcat · 08/05/2019 14:38

I’d get a new solicitor for a second opinion . You may well be entitled to keep the inheritance that you have yet to receive - a persons inheritance is not necessarily taken into account when they divorce , certainly that’s the case if the ‘ donor ‘ has yet to die . Only the two of you and your legal teams know what’s been going on the last five years . And of course after five years separation where one person contests the divorce , which may or may not apply to your marriage , then a divorce can effectively go ahead .

Absofuckinglutely · 08/05/2019 14:40

If you lived in Scotland, all assets are separate at the point of separation (called the relevant date), so you'd be ok if you were in Scotland.

In England, where the law is generally not as straightforward, you are not so fortunate as it will, in all likliehood, be in one marital pot. I would get a second opinion though, as you have been separated for a long while.

The law can be a complete ass.

Original poster

gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 14:42

anyone got any suggestions for a good solicitor in this area in the NW of England? PM if you like?

OP posts:

Original poster

gingerginger2 · 08/05/2019 14:46

I don't think I could do a deed of variation, as it's more than 2 years after DF's death

OP posts:

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