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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister living with me

48 replies

Advicewel · 08/05/2019 11:08

My sister left her private let flat because she was having problems with her neighbours and moved in with me. I was mid way through decorating when she moved in and had plans on buying new furniture and thats now scuppered as she has a cat. My sister and her daughter sleep on my couch as my house is pokey with 2 bedrooms, my kids being a tiny room there's no space to put another bed.
My house is upside down, I can't relax in my home and I'm just fed up wondering when she's going to the council to get a house. Am I unreasonable feeling really depressed? Last time another sister moved in she lived here for a year and had 2 cats that urinated all over my house.
Feel like moving out my own house to get away from it

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 08/05/2019 11:10

Did you ask her to move in with you? Why did you accept the cat? Is she likely to get a council house?

churchthecat · 08/05/2019 11:12

If she's yet to even get on the council list and has 1 child it could be many months or even years before she is given a place.

CripsSandwiches · 08/05/2019 11:14

This does not sound like a sustainable situation. It might takes years to get a council house. She needs to find another private let in the mean time.

Confusedbeetle · 08/05/2019 11:15

Dont rely on the council to give her a house it could be years if ever. She is not homeless

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 08/05/2019 11:16

Did you not have a conversation about how long it would be for before she moved in?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/05/2019 11:18

The council wont give her a property whilst shes housed with you - shes not classed as homeless.
Can she not find another private rental?

IAmTheChosenOne · 08/05/2019 11:20

I would suggest she goes to the council in person and says shes been sofa surfing and has now run out of friends and favours. They'll have to put her in temp accomodation, even if a B&B or hostel, she is priority as she has a child. The important thing is to say she will be sleeping rough tonight.

Littleduckeggblue · 08/05/2019 11:22

Where in the country are you?
I was private renting, no rush to move, no kids and applied for a council house and got offered one 4 days later.

Littleduckeggblue · 08/05/2019 11:23

I don't understand why people believe the myth that you have to be homeless to get a council house.
I work full time, I pay full rent, My council house is actually more expensive than my previous private rented house.

Lifeisabeach09 · 08/05/2019 11:34

She'll be low or zero priority because she gave up her flat (wasn't evicted), especially in an area of high demand for social housing.

She'll have to rent privately.

TraLaLaaaaa · 08/05/2019 11:34

For emergency council housing, you need to be homeless. Otherwise, you're just on the waiting list with everyone else and that could mean years of waiting.

HennyPennyHorror · 08/05/2019 11:34

Duck it's not a bloody myth! It's the usual in most areas.

You may pay full rent and work...that's not being questioned! People who are out of work can still get council housing because they get benefits!

HennyPennyHorror · 08/05/2019 11:35

OP as others have said, if she's living with you she won't get council accommodation.

She's not priority.

fecketyfeck21 · 08/05/2019 11:35

she left a private rent, why can't she rent again or am i missing the point ?

Original poster
Advicewel · 08/05/2019 11:39

I'm in Scotland, I don't know how the work out lists but my home is severely overcrowded

OP posts:
TtcIAm · 08/05/2019 11:43

@adivewel

i work for social housing and the adive i would give is for her to go to the council and join the waiting list and explain that your home is overcrowded (makes a priority) and then you will need to issue her with an eviction notice she will be a priority due to having a child.

CoraPirbright · 08/05/2019 11:43

How was she paying rent to her private landlord? Why can she not do that again?

fleshmarketclose · 08/05/2019 11:46

Give her a letter giving her a week's notice of your intention to throw her out. Then she takes the letter to the council and they will treat her as homeless from the date on the letter. Whilst she is living with you she has no priority. Council may not offer her housing but will source emergency accommodation.

Snowfalling · 08/05/2019 11:47

Yanbu. I've been in a similar situation and it stressed me out. I understand the feeling of wanting to run away from your own home.

You need to let her know that she needs to move out, this was meant to be a temporary solution, and you and your family need your space back.

Don't put up with this, it can affect your mental health. Get her to commit to a date in the near future to move out.

DaisiesAreOurSilver · 08/05/2019 11:48

Give her a date to move out and help her find somewhere. It sounds awful.

cakeandchampagne · 08/05/2019 11:49

At the very least, the cat needs a new home immediately.

Original poster
Advicewel · 08/05/2019 11:52

I'm depressed with it all, my only sanctuary now is going to work. And feel like taking all the overtime going just so I don't need to be here. She won't go to council, whereas id have been there everyday asking for a house. She says because she has a cat she won't go to a homeless unit because they don't accept pets

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 08/05/2019 11:53

Give her a timeframe to find another rental - a month should give her time. I assume she works and can afford it given she was privately renting already. Why did you allow her to stay in the first place when you didn't have space? Her issues with her neighbours were not your problem to solve.

HollowTalk · 08/05/2019 11:56

I think you really need to take stock of how you are with your sisters. This is the second one who's landed herself on you and looks like she's not budging.

I would give her a week to find somewhere. Perhaps she could go to your other sister's - the one who stayed with you for a year? Why should you be the one they stay with?

And when she does leave, I wouldn't have anyone else to stay, even overnight.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 08/05/2019 11:57

While I understand that there are regional variations regarding council housing, your post says I'm just fed up wondering when she's going to the council to get a house

Hasn't she even begun the process of application?

I think you need an immediate heart to heart.

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