Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to invite ex wife to my wedding?

50 replies

Goodgollymissjolly · 08/05/2019 10:08

We split up 3 yrs ago - not pleasant but a lot of water under the bridge. 2 wonderful DC who we share 50/50 all amicable etc.
I am re marrying later this year. Ex got all stroppy that I’m not inviting to wedding.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BuffaloCauliflower · 08/05/2019 10:09

Why would you invite her? She’s being weird

Daffodil2018 · 08/05/2019 10:10

YANBU. She is just choosing to get in a strop. I presume she has not remarried yet?

PinkCrayon · 08/05/2019 10:11

Shes being unreasonable.

CurriedCarbs · 08/05/2019 10:12

YADNBU and she's being very weird.

loveonthewall · 08/05/2019 10:17

My ex is remarrying next year and I'd find it weird if he invited me. If he did I'd politely decline. Very odd

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 08/05/2019 10:22

I know some people do remain on good terms with their ex and might invite them but I don’t think it’s the norm.

The very fact that your ex got stroppy about not being invited makes it clear to me that you would be mad to include her. If she feels entitled to an invitation to the wedding she would probably feel entitled to make scenes and hog attention if she attended.

outvoid · 08/05/2019 10:23

YANBU, I always find it very strange when exes do this but I know it does happen.

Duchessgummybuns · 08/05/2019 10:23

My exH is getting married again this year... it’d be a cold day in hell before I wanted to go to his wedding. Your ex Is weird.

Original poster
Goodgollymissjolly · 08/05/2019 10:25

Few... not just me! I think it’s really odd. I would want to go to hers.
Daffodil if she has remarried her current Partner she hasn’t told me! But then it’s none of my business

OP posts:
Original poster
Goodgollymissjolly · 08/05/2019 10:26

wouldn’t want to go to hers! 😬

OP posts:
notacooldad · 08/05/2019 10:28

Some people invite, some dont.
Theres no right or wrong, just what works best for you.

AryaStarkWolf · 08/05/2019 10:29

oh god no, she's definitely BU

Happynow001 · 08/05/2019 10:29

SHE is being very unreasonable - and also odd. Be very clear and consistent OP - no invitation for her. Actually won't it also feel off for your new wife also? I'm not sure I'd want your Ex at my wedding particularly if she was likely to be "difficult".

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage- hope you will both be very happy. 🌹

Original poster
Goodgollymissjolly · 08/05/2019 10:30

Whyohwhy
My thoughts exactly. We are on good terms as long as I don’t disagree with her or rock the boat... but we are not friends. And I don’t want her there.

OP posts:
LazyLizzy · 08/05/2019 10:31

She's a nosy bitch. Don't invite her.

Original poster
Goodgollymissjolly · 08/05/2019 10:32

I’m sticking to my guns! She is not coming.
My future wife’s language was fairly colourful when I told her 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Goodgollymissjolly · 08/05/2019 10:35

LazyLizzy 😂😂

OP posts:
katseyes7 · 08/05/2019 10:36

God, no. l wasn't invited to my ex husband's wedding, and l wouldn't have gone if l had been. And l certainly wouldn't have wanted him at mine.
Having said that, my friend and her ex (and his current wife) are very good friends - she went to their wedding, she works for their eldest, and they're godparents to each other's children. l can't imagine being like that, but it works fine for them.

applesandpears33 · 08/05/2019 10:37

Are the DC going to be flower girls/page boys? If so, she might like to see them all dressed up before the wedding? I think it would be a bit weird for her to be at the ceremony though.

ElspethFlashman · 08/05/2019 10:41

There have been threads on here before where the ex has insisted on dressing the kids and seeing them that morning all dressed up and seeing them at the church and all "I won't go in naturally, but I can't believe you are depriving me of seeing my little girl as a flower girl!" and then just keeps hanging around for the photos like a poltergeist cos nobody wants to make a scene and say "fuck off now please, you were meant to have fucked off an hour ago"

If they are dressing up, beware of hidden traps! Control the situation from the start.

KurriKurri · 08/05/2019 10:41

You invite who you want - people don't invite themselves !
I'd be gobsmacked if my ex invited me to his wedding (and would decline), and I certainly wouldn't invite him to mine (in the unlikely event that I would ever marry again Grin)

Congratulations Smile

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/05/2019 10:44

Jeezo, I would never get married again, once was enough, but if my Ex did I would not expect to get invited nor would I go if I was - I would spend the day feeling sorry for his new wife! I would be likely to turn up with a sharp object, and that might tarnish the day a bit....

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/05/2019 10:45

My brother invited his 2nd ex wife to his wedding to his third wife.
But that was weird

babyno5 · 08/05/2019 10:45

My partners ex invited us to her sons (with her new partner) christening. It was very weird but it was just her showing off.
She also insisted on coming to the funerals of both MIL and FIL when they passed away. For context she was only married to their son for 18 months whereas we have been together 15 years.
She'd be the last person I invited to my wedding!!

Singlenotsingle · 08/05/2019 10:49

It's not about her! In fact she's the last person it's about! She's being unreasonable to think she should be invited.

Swipe left for the next trending thread