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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go? Am I being a baby?

51 replies

Figure8 · 08/05/2019 05:57

Hi
So, a friend of mine and I planned to go to a festival, just the two of us.
She then said she wanted to invite a few other friends who had never been,apparently they had discussed the idea of going. All that was absolutely fine.

It's now a fairly big group ( 8 or 10) and I don't know anyone else apart from my friend. They are all friends, go out toms, and obviously know each other really well.

I'm confident, but I don't thrive on meeting new people.

And .... they're all planning a theme ( lots of glitter and matching outfits).

That really just isn't my thing. If others want to do it, brilliant, but it's not my thing. I'm in my forties, I'm so bloody past doing things to fit in.

So, would I be a baby if I bail?

OP posts:
ANewDawn10 · 08/05/2019 05:59

Yanbu
Make up something and don't go. Doesnt sound like my idea of fun either.

Ambas · 08/05/2019 06:01

they're all planning a theme ( lots of glitter and matching outfits).

Fuck that. I wouldn't go with them.

NowWeAreSuckingDiesel · 08/05/2019 06:02

Yanbu to bail

bellinisurge · 08/05/2019 06:04

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do for the sake of fitting in.
Perfectly ok to go mad and wear glitter etc in your forties but in this occasion it's not for you.

itswinetime · 08/05/2019 06:04

I would be bail. I don't care if that makes me a baby.

ThatsTheLastISawOfHim · 08/05/2019 06:07

If you feel uncomfortable don't go but be honest about why with your friend

Dualmum · 08/05/2019 06:14

Lol I wouldn't bloody go. Sounds like too much effort for me but then again I'm antisocial lol. YANBU if you don't want to go hun

jamaisjedors · 08/05/2019 06:29

Can't you go but do your own thing and meet up with them occasionally?

Which festival is it? Enormous or small and local?

SinglePringle · 08/05/2019 06:31

I wouldn’t mind about the unknown people - more the merrier and festivals are enormous fun when there’s a group of you.

The glitter wouldn’t bother me too much.

The matching outfits would have me immediately cancel. Fuck. That.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/05/2019 06:35

I'd find this off putting personally and would probably drop out

Mummaofmytribe · 08/05/2019 06:36

If it's not your thing you're NBU to pull out

BeanBag7 · 08/05/2019 06:36

Sounds rubbish. Could you go alone or with another friend? You said you like meeting new people so you could probably meet a new group to spend time getting to know. Or just enjoy it alone.

user1493413286 · 08/05/2019 06:38

If you don’t fancy it then don’t go; your friend would still have people to go with and there’s no point going if you’re not going to enjoy it

speakout · 08/05/2019 06:38

I would have no hesitation in bailing out.

Fraxion · 08/05/2019 06:42

( lots of glitter and matching outfits).

For me, that alone would be reason enough to cancel! YANBU.

Harrison376 · 08/05/2019 06:42

I’d want to bail too although I have a feeling if you do decide to go you’d have an absolute blast and if there’s ever a ‘next time’ it won’t feel as daunting.

Ferii · 08/05/2019 06:43

I wouldn't go, the event you signed up for is very different to what's being proposed now.

JenniferJareau · 08/05/2019 06:44

As long as you are not leaving her in the lurch, it's fine to bail. You'll feel like a third wheel by the sound of it.

user1474894224 · 08/05/2019 06:48

What festival is it? Because that makes a massive difference. I would still go and just not join in with the glitter and outfits. Most festivals have multiple stages/tents so you are unlikely to all want to do/see the same thing at the same time. It was always really handy to have a couple of people with a blanket as a base for others to go and come back from. I would be that base ....(but the sorts of festivals I like tend to be ones where you can chill on a blanket). The folk festivals I've been to have had acts inside on tents and theatres and there you can go grab a seat and just chill to the music. If you really want to go because time, location, cost etc fit with you then go. (If it's a Butlins style festival and you will all share accomodation then bail now.)

ShitAtScarbble · 08/05/2019 06:53

YANBU at all. Matching outfits? Glittery shit? When you're not under 25? Fuck that shit! Grin

outvoid · 08/05/2019 06:56

YANBU, I wouldn’t want to go either.

NorthernKnickers · 08/05/2019 06:57

My idea of hell too OP...you are not BU at all...but your friend probably thought it would be a fun thing to do if that's 'her thing'. We are all different I guess 🤷‍♀️ She should have checked with you first though, which was rude...I'd back out but would be honest about why.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 08/05/2019 06:58

I wouldn't go either. Glitter and matching outfits sound like the 11th circle of hell to me.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 08/05/2019 06:58

What user said.

I'm not a glitter + matching outfits person, but if I really wanted to go, I'd go (with them) and do my own thing.

pictish · 08/05/2019 06:58

I’d be pissed off about my weekend with a friend being turned into an event for her extended social group...BUT...festivals are highly social and having a wee crowd is actually better. I’d go along, try to get on with the pals...but absolutely duck out of the matching outfits and glitter. Just say ‘no thanks...not my thing, but you lot go ahead.’
I’d have none of that.