Are you approachable or not?

[Agednotwine]

I appear to be one that people (random) seem to approach and/or confide in.
Typical things would be the band at a work do when everyone else had gone in for food and I was having a cigarette, totally relaxed and said 'well great, we can have a break so! They seemed to think I was 'one of their own'. Clearly didn't think I was the big boss or they'd probably have kept playing!
Other things would be the likes of cleaners having a little moan to me in public toilets.
Waiting staff giving me knowing lucks and winks.
People always asking me for directions.

That sort of thing?

I don't have a nice smile (bad teeth), but I suppose I do smile easily and probably don't have a resting bitch face.

At work events I'd be suited and booted, but people seem to sense I'm not the big boss and that I'm going to be easy to talk to.

I am easy to talk to and am very friendly, I'm just amused that they can tell before I even open my mouth!

It's possible that I maybe wave or something at people - something I'm not aware of doing - that gives away the fact that I'm friendly, but sometimes, people just confide in me!

E.g.s from my youth would be that I'll be the one stuck for a half hour in the pub toilets consoling a girl whose boyfriend has dumped her.

That sort of thing.

I try to be less approachable, headphones in, head down, yet still I'm the one someone will randomly stop on the street to see if I'll help them read their google map (can't read maps).

Is it something particular about the head of me?

I should add, that I don't mind at all - love helping people - just more curious I suppose as to why it's always me?

I suppose if you're not someone who identifies with this, the easier question to ask would be why would you approach someone for assistance over another person?

Yes, I’m approachable. People tell me things and want to connect with me.
But also people don’t mess with me. I’ve never had half the grief that I hear about on here, strangers touching my bump when I’m pregnant, aggression from strangers etc.

I've been the victim of aggression. Never had anyone touch my bump though!

I am not approachable. I’m not sure why, I try to smile a lot but I’m painfully shy so maybe that comes across.

My friend, on the other hand, constantly has people asking her for help and starting conversations with her. I watch her in awe because she’s like a people magnet. She’s charismatic and easy to talk to and instantly puts you at ease. I’m envious of her and wish I could be more like her.

I'm very unapproachable but I put that down to my naturally resting bitch face.

I'm very unapproachable but I put that down to my naturally resting bitch face.

^ same.

I don’t want people making small talk with me though so it suits me.

I’m very approachable. But I am happy to connect briefly with anyone. I probably naturally seek out people’s eyes and often have a shared grin with strangers about random stuff happening in the room or whatever. I’ll also chat to anyone who speaks to me and have very very thick skin. It would take a lot to insult me and if someone says something insulting I usually see it for just an awkwardness on their part and it doesn’t bother me. Nobody ever touched my bump but I get a LOT of comments about my 4 very young kids, I love it! Because it isn’t easy and people always recognise that with all those ‘rather you than me’ and ‘do you not have a TV’ remarks. In work I was always the one to get on with the difficult bosses or coworkers. But I always found that people were often just unkind to awkward or insecure people.

Whatever, people do chat to me everywhere I go and I’ve met some amazing people briefly over the years.

Yes I am approachable. People may not realise you're the big boss in your job, it is a great quality to have even if you don't think so, or feel it undermines your position.
I think it is great when you meet a person, for me my experience, She was a top consultant, she was fantastic so down to earth and APPROACHABLE.
It makes the difference in a hard situation.

Depends if i want to be, i have to 'turn it on' manually. Then i am.

I get told I'm approachable and get confided in a lot , probably as I'm very practical, like 'fixing' problems & hate seeing people struggle (& I know how awful is to feel like your being left to drown by others close to you who just don't get it ). People are often surprised that I take no shit tho. I think they confuse kindness with being a mug.

I am not approachable.

Now just Fuck Off.

I flip flop , some days I am other days I'm not. I hate small talk with a passion so I'll either click into a conversation when it's good or I'll zone out when it's not.

Funny you mention bosses. I can work with anyone and the ones that nobody can work with seem normal to me! I'm usually their right hand man.

It's an odd thing really. I appear to be a people magnet too. It's interesting I suppose.
I don't walk down a street smiling at everyone - the opposite - I try to be invisible lol.

Maybe it's just something that you can sense?
I suppose the answer is more in why would you trust someone over another person? I dress well, but I don't 'look' like I'd be friendly. It just happens that I am. So maybe it's a perception thing. While someone not outwardly friendly might feel upset about being asked for directions, to me, I'll go out of my way to get them to their destination.

In general I am only moderately approachable.

However, it seems that I look weirdly German and seem very approachable to Germans.

I live in a tourist town frequented by all nationalities. I am reasonably helpful with directions and advice, and am occasionally approached by various visitors.

But the Germans!!! I am a magnet to them all. They rush to me with relieved expressions, asking me all their questions in German. What is that about? It's as if I were wearing a t-shirt with "Ich würde gerne helfen" scrawled across it.

I do speak some German, so I feel obliged to stutter some kind of response, but I imagine that 98% of Germans speak English better than I do German.

God no.

I'd say I am unapproachable. Which I don't mind.

Grrr.

Absolutely not approachable. My friend is the opposite and will make small talk with anyone. I simply CBA.

I don’t think I am, but not sure why not.

I'm approachable, no idea why. Like you I'll have headphones in, rushing to a meeting at a client and tourists will stop me for directions. Why!? Although I always take the time as I know it's hard when you are lost. Somehow I suppose that shows in me.

I am actually quite senior at my work, and it comes as a shock to people when they find out. I think it's cause I'm kind of soft and maternal looking... Better than being angry I guess!

I'm like you, OP. Strangers will give me their life story within minutes of meeting me, and at work I'm apparently the 'go to' woman because I'm approachable, even though I'm quite senior. It works to my advantage in many ways at work because I almost always know what's going on.

My adult DS has the same quality, he can talk to anyone & everyone, and people approach & confide in him. The difference is that he's an extrovert & I'm an introvert, which is interesting.

I’m one of those people who gets people telling them everything. Just this weekend I was told I’m very easy to talk to. I guess I have quite a friendly face.

I also get asked for directions every time I’m abroad, but never in the UK

Not approachable at all. Regularly told I have resting bitch face. Several close friends said they were scared of me at first.

Note they do say I'm nice when they actually know me!

It amazes me when you spend time with those people magnets all the things they learn and people they meet.

I've often been at meetings and someone will ask a question and the relevant manager won't be there but I'll know the answer and people will ask 'how do you know that?' 'Oh we were talking about it earlier'. I think some people think I have some magic way of extracting information out of people and since I'm mostly at my desk they wonder who my sources are lol. The truth is I'll have been in the loo with someone and just say 'oh hey - how did the xyx deal go?' while we're washing hands. It can be that simple!

I also seem to know random things that are going on because I'm friendly with the guy from IT or similar lol.
I don't interrogate people! And I wouldn't say I'm particularly nosey either - mostly I don't know which end of myself is up to be concerned about what is going on for other people.

What's more amusing to me is why people stop me on the street so often. Maybe I have a relaxed stride or something.

YY, I'm approachable but not the human magnet you seem to be, OP! Thank god. I'd be well freaked out if everybody everywhere suddenly wanted to share their life story.

I like people. I think everybody's interesting in their way - even if they're only interesting once! I have a "good face for comedy", which may not be sexy or sophisticated but my apparently obvious microexpressions (so not all that micro) seem to be relatable. I look like shit most of the time, am always knackered, and my radiant smile reveals a mouth full of hideous teeth. People must be attracted to my effortless glamour.

So, tell me, what's it like to be the most popular woman on the block??

Heehee - perhaps it's our shared gobs of bad teeth!

It's fine for me. I suppose, less friendly people would cut a conversation short, whereas I'll come away from a conversation about directions knowing where they're from, where they're going, how long they're staying and what they think of the place lol. It's just as natural to me as saying hello to make conversation. And people love to get to know the locals (particular ones with gnashers Shane McGowan would be proud of).