My bfs side of the family does not come to visit our newborn baby

[Funnymummy44]

I have a 2 and 3 weeks old baby and I still live at home with my parents. Ever since I’ve had the baby none of my bfs parents and siblings have never once come to visit my baby. I was in hospital for over a week and ever since I’ve come out of hospital I’ve made an effort to bring my nb to visit them( they also live 15/20 mins away) I find it very irritating because they all live together and spend most of the time at home together. Numerous of times they have been in a nearby area (literally 5 mins away) or have even travelled further but have not once stopped by to see my nb. This upsets me because I want my nb to have a relationship with his other family members but I do not want to feel like I’m forcing it or it’s one sided . Also it’s very hard as a new mum to take every thing baby needs there and back continuously and I feel like I don’t get to bond with my nb as much cause im not in my own home. Their reasons for not coming is because they don’t want to come to my parents house because it’s not their own. I’ve made the decision to stop going their until I see efforts reciprocated. Am I in the wrong !

I’m confused at the people saying it would be uncomfortable/awkward for the in laws to visit the ops house because her parents live there...er, why?! What would be weird about that?

Op - I wouldn’t be stressing about taking little one to them. They should be coming to you, if you want them to.

It just doesn't make sense to me because they happy for my parents to come round but not happy to come round to see the baby. I just wanted to know if it was unreasonable for me to put in the same efforts and not go there at all or often

@Oohgossip @Nickpan I don't understand why this would bother the bf's family either, but my PIL were the same. We stayed with my parents for 6 weeks when DC1 was born because our house wasn't finished. PIL sulked and sulked about it and insisted we bring our newborn to them to make it more 'fair'. Bloody ridiculous behaviour and I regret indulging it.

I really think having a newborn trumps whatever awkwardness GPs might feel about being a visitor instead of on their home turf or whatever the concern was.

As PP have said, are there pets in your parents' house that the other GPs might be allergic to? Is there a big difference in the tidiness levels between the two homes? Do the GPs go out much, generally? Some people don't like leaving the house and would prefer visitors to come to them.

Tbh I have no pets my house is very put together as anyone is hardly home.

Their reasons for not coming is because they don’t want to come to my parents house because it’s not their own
So they've basically told you that they won't visit you no matter where you live because 'it's not their own' place.
They'rte expecting you to do all the running around.

Don't.
If they want a relationship with nb then they need to make the effort.
So just tell them straight - they are welcome to visit but you won't be constantly going around to theirs.

I think there is a difference between them being invited to your house, and being invited to your parents' house. Given that you and your baby can see them whenever you want at their house, why would they need to go to your parents' house.

That's my take on it, anyway.

Shame I can't edit a post … I mean, do your parent's ever visit their house?