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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get an overwhelming sense of danger from a stranger?

676 replies

ThisIsCheese · 07/05/2019 09:57

The weirdest thing just happened. I’m in the supermarket and as I’m stood selected and bagging vegetables I suddenly feel very uncomfortable.
There is a man about 50 something stood with his elderly mother a few feet away to the side of me and I felt very sick and uncomfortable when I looked at him.
Absolutely no reason for it but it was overwhelming, like a sense of fear he was not a good man.

Completely clueless why I felt that way I moved along quickly but I crossed paths with him again in another aisle and knew he was there before I saw him because the sick / anxious feeling returned.

Anyone else ever had this? I don’t have anxiety or anything but this feeling was so odd, like I could sense he wasn’t a good person.

Never met him before, he could be perfectly lovely but my physical reaction to him was so strong Confused

OP posts:
CurtainsOpen · 07/05/2019 09:59

Natural. Sometimes get it walking alone - either home from work, or even if I'm taking the dog out. Something just doesn't feel "right" and you can't put your finger on it.

BellMcEnd · 07/05/2019 10:00

I’m not massively woo but I do think we have instincts for a reason.......there have been loads of threads about this, very interesting (and often terrifying) reading

Famalamaringwrong · 07/05/2019 10:01

I used to get this with a customer. Everyone i worked with couldn't understand it and thought he was harmless but he then went on to murder another customer. I best name change as this is very outing.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-23423898

BertrandRussell · 07/05/2019 10:01

He probably reminded you subconsciously of someone horrible, either in real life or in a film or something.

Original poster
ThisIsCheese · 07/05/2019 10:02

@Famalamaringwrong bloody hell Shock

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 07/05/2019 10:03

Your instincts are there to protect you.

Original poster
ThisIsCheese · 07/05/2019 10:03

@BertrandRussell I’d be inclined to agree except I felt it before I saw him both times

OP posts:
Roaring30s · 07/05/2019 10:06

Yep.

When I moved house I had dozens of men in and out doing jobs for weeks. No problem.

But when the gasman came I was frozen with fear. Absolutely terrified of him. No idea why.

I waited in the garden pretending to be on the phone until he left.

He gave me the Willie's big time :(

JuniFora · 07/05/2019 10:07

People give off vibes, what they're thinking and feeling is released even if they're hiding those thoughts/feelings with a "normal" face. There are tiny microexpressions in their body language they can't hide and they're usually unnoticeable to our conscious mind but our subconscious picks them up and alerts us to be wary.

So you'll sometimes get a "gut" feeling to avoid someone, you're not imagining it, your brain is just reading them and that's the signal it's picking up.

MyAuntyBadger · 07/05/2019 10:10

I've had this before, about a middle aged guy in the village I grew up in. I was about 13/14 and if he was in his front garden when I passed his house I'd feel sick and my spine would turn to ice. No idea why - he never even looked at me.

The only other time I've had that reaction to someone is when I see a particular celebrity on TV. It's weird.

Loopytiles · 07/05/2019 10:12

I think Gavin De Becker’s book from the late 90s, Gift of Fear, is really good, including on this. Says trust your instinct!

6079SmithW · 07/05/2019 10:13

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horacio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy".
Some things we just can't explain yet, but being instinctively afraid of someone/something/somewhere shouldn't be ignored. If you're wrong no harm done. If you're right it could save your life.

ThatCurlyGirl · 07/05/2019 10:14

I've had this before twice - where my tummy has flipped over before I've even consciously seen the person.

Just like the feeling when you're about to fall down the stairs, but the lurch doesn't stop.

One of them ended up following me on various occasions and was reported by a number of other girls for similar.

The other I never saw again but I had the exact same feeling and could kind of feel their eyes on me / terrible almost violent panic aura around me but I'm not usually woo at all so hard to explain.

Skippii · 07/05/2019 10:15

I get this occasionally. The last time it happened, my friend who is a nurse noticed the man had some medical intervention hooked up (some tubing under clothes) and suspected he was undergoing treatment for some serious condition. I was picking up him seeming off/false in his conversation, but maybe it was just the effort of being in a social setting when unwell or in pain.

LondonJax · 07/05/2019 10:19

I always say to DS to trust his instinct. If you turn around and walk the other way because your feelings are telling you to, no-one will know why or call you stupid. Better that than end up in danger.

Lemonsquinky · 07/05/2019 10:20

I used to get this with a school mum. Our dcs were friends. We went on a day trip a couple of times. But I never trusted her. There was something I felt was dangerous about her. She ended up stabbing her on and off again ex several times with a large knife.
We have instincts for a reason.

Margot33 · 07/05/2019 10:23

Yes I've experienced this too. Always listen to your gut feeling.

scarbados · 07/05/2019 10:26

YANBU.

Back in the days of the Yorkshire Ripper, I was in a pub with an upstairs bar and balcony. There was a man standing by the door downstairs, watching people come and go. He looked upstairs and caught my eye. I've never felt anything like the sense of pure evil I picked up from him. I told my then-husband and friends that I'd just seen the Ripper. They spent the next few weeks taking the piss out of me and my 'vivid imagination'.

Then he was arrested and I'd been right.

FriarTuck · 07/05/2019 10:27

I get this plenty of times. I always put it down to having watched far too many US crime dramas because I really doubt that there are that many dodgy people in my little area, and particularly since none of them avail themselves of the opportunity to murder me. Sometimes your 'gut feeling' is basing itself on utter bollocks from the tv or a book.

Mayalready · 07/05/2019 10:28

Not me but ddog. Always reacted negatively towards our neighbour opposite. Nobody else. Placid, lovely with dc, never met him - when she did reaction was worse.
He killed another neighbour not long after ..... Trust your ddog's instinct too!

Fishywife · 07/05/2019 10:28

He probably reminded you subconsciously of someone horrible, either in real life or in a film or something.
I’d be inclined to agree except I felt it before I saw him both times

I would suggest you had already glimpsed/heard him, enough for it to register in your subconscious.

PeachesAndMayo · 07/05/2019 10:29

I used to be a solo worker who had to go in to people's homes on occasion. I never, ever ignored my instinct. If I had the slightest bad feeling about someone, they were interviewed on their doorstep, not in the house. I'm not especially woo but I never ignore my gut feelings.

Original poster
ThisIsCheese · 07/05/2019 10:29

@FriarTuck I didn’t assume he was murderous but maybe dangerous. I’ve never had this before, it was really pertinent

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/05/2019 10:30

The last time it happened, my friend who is a nurse noticed the man had some medical intervention hooked up (some tubing under clothes) and suspected he was undergoing treatment for some serious condition

Nah, he was probably some mutant alien cyborg.

CitadelsofScience · 07/05/2019 10:34

I've had it, felt very nauseous and uncomfortable with this man in our old village. My dog confirmed it when out walking with just my husband, dog's heckles went up and she started snarling. My husband told me when they came home and I realised it was the same man.