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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get an overwhelming sense of danger from a stranger?

676 replies

ThisIsCheese · 07/05/2019 09:57

The weirdest thing just happened. I’m in the supermarket and as I’m stood selected and bagging vegetables I suddenly feel very uncomfortable.
There is a man about 50 something stood with his elderly mother a few feet away to the side of me and I felt very sick and uncomfortable when I looked at him.
Absolutely no reason for it but it was overwhelming, like a sense of fear he was not a good man.

Completely clueless why I felt that way I moved along quickly but I crossed paths with him again in another aisle and knew he was there before I saw him because the sick / anxious feeling returned.

Anyone else ever had this? I don’t have anxiety or anything but this feeling was so odd, like I could sense he wasn’t a good person.

Never met him before, he could be perfectly lovely but my physical reaction to him was so strong Confused

OP posts:
Cozytoesandtoast00 · 07/05/2019 18:55

I was taking my German Shepherd dog for a walk when I was about 10. My dog was the most placid friendly dog who had never shown aggression to other people or dogs.
It was dusk and a man approached me (very closely) to ask for the time.
My dog growled viciously, showing his teeth. I was shocked.
In hindsight I believe he had sensed something

TowerRavenSeven · 07/05/2019 19:11

Never had this in the sense as someone would physically endanger me but plenty of times when my gut was telling to stay away from someone for emotional reasons (they would turn out to be a bad/non friend).

fizzandchips · 07/05/2019 19:20

Last year we driving along a country lane. I noticed a parked car and a man standing beside the car. The physical reaction I had to him is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. After we drove past I turned to say something about to my DH when I noticed he looked really shaken. He had had exactly the same reaction to me. He described it as feeling what evil felt like.

Natsku · 07/05/2019 19:42

Had this feeling once with my piano teacher when I was 13. Had moved across the country so it was a new teacher and I just got a creepy vibe off him, carried on lessons for a few months but the feeling didn't go away. I couldn't explain it to my mum so I just said I didn't want to play piano any more. In all likelihood there was nothing wrong with him and I do regret giving up piano but I couldn't focus on my lessons because I felt so uncomfortable.

beargryllshasabigrope · 07/05/2019 20:01

I've had this before. My DS was changing schools due to a house move, and there were a few in the new area to choose from. I'd visited this one particular school with every intention of sending him there. I'd enjoyed the visit but I thought the head was a bit off. I ignored my feelings about her, put in my application and took DS for a visit.
On the second visit the headteacher still seemed a bit iffy. Perfectly nice, nothing I could put my finger on. Then I walked past the caretaker and I instantly felt scared of him. I went home, withdrew my application almost instantly and sent DS elsewhere the following week. I'd never felt anything like that and I knew I couldn't send him to that school.

WillGymForPizza · 07/05/2019 20:02

Bertrand saying that you can't take to someone is hardly tarnishing someone's reputation. I just can't take to him, which is highly unusual for me as generally take people at face value.

WoodenToyKitchen · 07/05/2019 20:15

My home town hippy/alt shop had a vibe to it upstairs. Always the same guy (who owned it) working there and offering to do the piercings.

Raped/molested several young woman/girls whilst piercing them in the shop. He also didn't have a license.

Shut down and today, many years on, is an ice cream parlour with happy vibes.

twitterbird · 07/05/2019 20:37

This happened to me last weekend. I had gone into a large city but quite often park 10 min walk away near my office but on a weekend it is very deserted and is in a fairly run down part of the city.

I was fiddling with the parking machine which has swallowed my money when this guy appeared from nowhere and started talking to me about the machine and parking. I became acutely aware I was in front of an abandoned building, not a soul around with a guy who was claiming to be asking parking info but who was wearing dirty clothes with no visible car.

I locked the car and very quickly walked away pretending to make a call. Might have been harmless but my brain clocked several factors which just weren't quite right and I was actually really freaked out.

Laiste · 07/05/2019 21:02

I'm going to use this thread to get something off my chest!

DD started reception in september and i just cannot shake this bad feeling i have about the caretaker there. He's been there about a year as far as i know. It's a village school. He learns the kids names and he gets very involved in them arriving and leaving ect. He likes them to call him by his first name and does a lot of sort of banter and even play fighting ect. Some of the kids gravitate to him. Others stand off.

I was a TA at primary for years (same school in fact) and i know everyone has their own style dealing with children. Some are more obviously and actively involved, more animated, or tactile. But there's something about his guy which sends off a little alarm bell in my head whenever i see him. I feel i want to get DD away from him when he's about. His enthusiasm is just slightly ... no, i just can't describe it. I feel strangely guilty, actually, for feeling like this. I imagine everyone else thinks he's wonderful. I don't know. I don't work there now. But there it is. I see him and i feel it every school day.

There. I said it! I've said nothing to anyone except DH. And now MN!

WoodenToyKitchen · 07/05/2019 21:13

On the plus, my cat has been super attentive to me for quite a while. I'm not allowed to leave the room without her. I got pregnant and she was the same. Had baby, was the same.

I have a brain tumour that's been there for a couple of years, ever since she started stalking me. So I guess, pay attention to animals as well as your own instincts.

ScrambledSmegs · 07/05/2019 21:23

Huh. I've know I've had this feeling a few times but for the life of me I can't remember anything about the people who triggered it. Bit worrying really. I think my memory's going.

YouDancin · 07/05/2019 21:24

@Laiste can you talk to someone at the school? It may be they need to just watch him slightly more than usual to keep a check?
Or use ... is it Claire's Law (?) to check for previous convictions (although the school will have done due dilligence with references but that is ony if something has been caught and recorded.)
I think I would have to say something to someone. Make it clear you have zero allegations but you want to be careful.
I'd teach your DD to avoid him - make something up that is harmless if she repeats it.

4andAbit · 07/05/2019 21:33

I get this with my dd bf dad. She stays at the house often spends ALOT of time there. We all have they have had us round for tea etc. The mum is lovely. But theres just something about him I feel is off. The mum says she thinks he may have mild autism that's never been diagnosed. Maybe it's this. But I duno. He smiles he chats he makes effort with the kids. Etc. But there is something

Laiste · 07/05/2019 21:43

YouDancin - Thank you. Yes he will have been CRB / DBS checked. Which, as you say, would show actual convictions.

Right now i wouldn't dream of saying anything to anyone officially. I'd feel out of line. 99% of the staff have changed since i worked there so i'm not close enough to any staff there any more and DD4 is only 7 months into all her schooling years there.

It's a village - so there is always someone who knows something if there's something to know. I don't habitually get involved in local gossip (it's not in my nature, it was not encouraged as a school staff member and it's sort of stuck) however i can keep my ear to the ground. I'll bide my time ...

He says hello to me and DD every day. He addresses her by name. I smile and drag her past hurry on to class.

Sofagirl · 07/05/2019 21:55

You could be an empath or someone who can sense things / thoughts / emotions that are projected

Definitely trust your instincts - they could save your life

Springfern · 07/05/2019 21:58

I've just scared myself shitless reading this thread. And I'm also angry now because I doubt men move through the world getting terrified at the sight of random women (perhaps with the exception of Myra Hinley!) As women we're taught from such a young age that men aren't safe, with good reason as we all have a horrible story or two I'm sure

Sofagirl · 07/05/2019 22:03

There’s a great book I read once called Fear and how it can save your life

It’s when people / women override their irrational fear and end up getting attacked etc

So our instincts are there for a reason

justasking111 · 07/05/2019 22:06

A customer of ours years ago gave me the willies. I tried not to serve him he scared me so much. He was caught after murdering a little girl, other murders not proven the police believed were carried out by him. He is in Broadmoor for life.

NottonightJosepheen · 07/05/2019 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laiste · 07/05/2019 22:09

Personally although i don't mind a bit of woo here and there, I don't think there's anything woo about this. It's basic instinct but we don't have the language or ability to understand/verbalise it like we do our other senses. Which leaves us unsure when we're right and vulnerable to being wrong.

I think it's not just visual. I think there's a lot to be said about smell. We give out smells when we're scared, when we're ill, stressed, pregnant ect. Pets pick all those things up easily. I think different personality traits might have a smell. We don't know we're smelling them, but we are.

SrSteveOskowski · 07/05/2019 22:11

Happened to me just last week. Was at a family funeral and had lots of people coming over to shake hands (I'm Irish, funerals are a big thing here) One older man came over and shook hands with me and I just felt complete revulsion, just so creeped out. I remember clearly thinking "Dirty fucker" and didn't want him anywhere near me.
My cousins ex girlfriend was also at the funeral. She and my cousin still get on well. He told me before that when she was a child, she'd be sexually abused by her father.
You know exactly where this is going don't you?

Yes, dirty fucker was her father. I'd only met her once before in my life and had never in my life set eyes on her father. I never want to again.

RevealTheLegend · 07/05/2019 22:12

Yep. A kid at my daughters school. First met him a few years ago. He was perhaps 8. he had odd soulless eyes and stared right through me. He really gave me a feeling of fear, even revulsion. I hated myself for disliking a kid.

As he has got older and is in his teens he has creeped me out more. I’m half waiting to hear he has done something unspeakable. hope I’m wrong.

Also I have had a near miss with a taxi driver. Gave off very odd vibes. I got in the taxi and thought nope. So I pretended I was going to puke and leaped straight back out.

RevealTheLegend · 07/05/2019 22:15

The strongest sense of 'evil' I've ever felt was in a shop in Glastonbury. The man behind the till was dangerous, I'm sure of it

Either you have posted that before or I’ve heard someone else say this, I’m sure.

gluteustothemaximus · 07/05/2019 22:16

So our instincts are there for a reason

Absolutely this.

Laiste · 07/05/2019 22:18

Glastonbury is quite strange. I was enthralled by the place but felt so ill we had to leave early. Dizzy, nausea ect. I was fine once we were half way home.