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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sister being cheeky and lazy

66 replies

blublue · 07/05/2019 08:11

My sister has 4 children aged under 12. They have all stayed at our parents, two hours away, because she's been working all weekend. They are supposed to be back to school today. She told our DM she wouldn't be able to get there till midnight last night so they may as well stay another day and have the day off school.

Me, DM and DD2 was supposed to be going for afternoon tea which we've now had to cancel as the kids will be there. I spoke to my sister yesterday early evening and she said she was home but as she knew me and DD was going over today shes promised her children they can go shopping with me and DM.

She's now taken the huff with me because I said me and DM have had to cancel plans and that the kids should be in school as it's not a holiday. She was also expecting me to bring them home with me but I won't have enough room in my car.

It's really annoyed me as I don't get much quality time with DM.

OP posts:

NCforthis2019 · 07/05/2019 08:58

Just tell her to come now and get her kids!

NCforthis2019 · 07/05/2019 08:58

Your mum is enabling her by giving in - this will get worse.

Blondebakingmumma · 07/05/2019 08:58

I totally get why you wouldn’t want to go shopping with so many kids pregnant! I think it’s appalling that she let them miss a day of school because she couldn’t be bothered to pick them up. She should have thought this through more before they were palmed off to your mum

User199999999o9o999 · 07/05/2019 08:59

Go somewhere nice, you and dd. Your parents need to learn to tell your sister no.

You say you get little quality time with dm, is dsis often with her? Or palming her kids off on you both if she knows you are together?

Holidayshopping · 07/05/2019 09:02

You both seem overly worried about offending your sister. Why?! She isn’t bothered about taking the piss out of both of you!!

HomeMadeMadness · 07/05/2019 09:03

Without knowing your sister it's hard to tell if she thought "oh wow it'll be lovely for the cousins to spend some lovely time together" or if she thought "oh good I won't have to bother getting the kids". If it's the latter and she has form then yes I'd be annoyed.

pumpkinpie01 · 07/05/2019 09:09

Whats to stop her setting off at 6 this morning there by 8, half an hour with your mum back home by 10.30 and kids at school by 11. It sounds to me like she fancied a day to herself. 4 kids is a lot for your mum to have every weekend, cant imagine many GP's agreeing to that.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 07/05/2019 09:10

Her being a single mother and having to work is no one else's problem but hers.
If her job means that her children are having to miss school then she needs to find a new job.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/05/2019 09:18

Well we don’t know the situation do we? Sister might have been left high and dry with a big mortgage to pay and only able to pay it by working weekends. She might be in the sort of profession where you have to work weekends. You can’t just chuck your job in and be supported by the state. You can’t always change your job quickly.

If she finished at five. It would be 7 before she got to her mums and 9 at least before she got home. That’s a long long day.

I think the OP should be having a chat about how she can help her sister not slagging her off.

ShinyShoe · 07/05/2019 09:22

Why isn’t she going to pick them up this morning? Then you could still go to your afternoon tea? Your DM needs to take the lead on this one. She’s allowing your sisters bad behaviour. She needs to call your sister and tell her it’s unacceptable.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/05/2019 09:25

Really sad read. The sister was out working, not raving and on the piss up. Being a single parent is fucking hard. Granted, I don't use my DM for childcare but at some point your mum agreed to it.
Where is the dad in this?
Good question. Men don't answer to anything do they. Or get called CFs for working let alone working and raising children alone.

Drum2018 · 07/05/2019 09:26

I wouldn't bother going to your mums if I were you. She has prioritised your sister over you by agreeing to to keep the kids, and therefore ruining the plans you had with her. Don't be a mug by going and minding your sisters kids fornthe day. If your DM wants to do it so be it, if she doesn't, she has a tongue in her head and can tell your sister to piss off.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 07/05/2019 09:27

But she wasn't out working!! OP confirmed that sister was at home.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/05/2019 09:32

Hmm, I too would prioritise looking after the 4 kids of my single daughter who had been working all weekend over going to afternoon tea with another daughter. One is essential and one is a treat. And I would be very disappointed in my other daughter if she kicked off about it.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/05/2019 09:34

She was home at 5 after working all weekend and faced with a 4 hour round trip to collect her kids.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 07/05/2019 09:35

Diddums. Her kids had school. That matters.

Teddybear45 · 07/05/2019 09:37

My mum is a good mum and would prioritize looking after her dd’s kids who had to work, rather than a jolly with the one who seems to be at home every weekend and weekday. I know you are disappointed OP but honestly you know your mum helps your sister - you know she works - have some bloody compassion.

legolimb · 07/05/2019 09:39

I don't know if sister is lazy - but she was certainly being cheeky.

Unless mother had implied that she would happily have the 4 grandchildren any time with no notice? Who knows. And yes, where is the father of the children?

However taking an extra day off school is out of order.

flumpybear · 07/05/2019 09:43

Personally I'd get them in my car and drive them to school in their own clothes and shame my sister for being a shit parent and shit daughter too

Or I'd tell her to be at your DM house by midday as there's no free childcare after then

She's a cheeky entitled cow

Sagradafamiliar · 07/05/2019 09:45

Yeahhh, humiliate the children in front of all their peers to show up the sister as 'shit', that'll teach her 👏

OwlBeThere · 07/05/2019 09:53

@llangennith...would that it were that simple to just not work weekends!! Long gone are the days when single parents didn’t have to work and you might have noticed that jobs are not easy to come by.
I think it’s really mean of posters to be saying its her problem being a single mum to 4. You can’t win, if you’re on benefits you’re lazy, if you work weekends you’re a shit mother. Nice way to support other women.

AlaskanOilBaron · 07/05/2019 09:54

Really depends on the context.

On the face of it, it's not great. 12 is pretty old to be missing school for no reason.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/05/2019 09:58

Yeah shit lazy fucker, raising 4 kids and working all weekend. Really?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 07/05/2019 10:03

That doesn't mean she can take the piss.

She lied. She told her mum she wouldn't finish till late. OP caught her sister in a lie. She was at home at 5pm. So what's the justification for that? You don't lie and inconvenience someone who is doing you a massive favour.
That would mean that from then on I told them no to anymore help.

FrancisCrawford · 07/05/2019 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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