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AIBU?

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Original poster

I unfollowed 3 people and 2 messaged me to ask why!

42 replies

TWISTYBIRD · 07/05/2019 07:00

I use Instagram. Not much and I post sparsely. I unfollowed 3 people last night. They're not really friends, just people I've met a couple of times through other people and have been in the same circle for a few years. I see them once in a blue moon and I don't have their numbers etc.

I unfollowed three people, and 2 of them had messaged me within a couple of hours to ask why and one told kid I was rude. I don't really know what to say Confused

WIBU? Am I obliged to follow them? I doesn't mean I don't like them I just barely know them and they don't interest me. I hardly use social media and didn't realise some people are so hurt by this kind of thing. I don't know how they even realised that I had unfollowed to be honest!

OP posts:
Original poster
TWISTYBIRD · 07/05/2019 07:00

*told me

OP posts:
RogersVideo · 07/05/2019 07:02

Of course you can unfollow. I think it's rude of them to message you about it! I would guess they don't like seeing their numbers drop.

Original poster
TWISTYBIRD · 07/05/2019 07:04

Thing is unfollowing someone doesn't mean you don't like them. I'm just not interested in seeing what their kids are up to and what they had for dinner!

OP posts:
Eslteacher06 · 07/05/2019 07:05

I've unfriended before and had a similar reaction. I'd explain I've nothing against them (BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT REAL LIFE lol) and you've just noticed you barely speak to eachother so it didn't seem fair.

Drives me mad when people do that lol

Fairylea · 07/05/2019 07:07

I use a completely different name etc on Instagram and don’t link to my other accounts for this reason. It’s so annoying! People get so offended so easily. You haven’t done anything wrong. I use Instagram for following famous people / celeb twaddle / tv and animals memes. General crap. I don’t want to see all the billion photos of xxxx and her kids days out that I see on Facebook- which I keep more personal.

Original poster
TWISTYBIRD · 07/05/2019 07:07

I find it sad that people worry so much about it. It's not real life as you say..

OP posts:
TessieVanKendre · 07/05/2019 07:08

YANBU, some people just really need social media validation in order to function. Quite sad really.

Original poster
TWISTYBIRD · 07/05/2019 07:08

I can understand feeling a bit 'oh, was it something I said?' But think it's a bit ott to actually message about it.

OP posts:
HBStowe · 07/05/2019 07:09

How bizarre! I think they have been rude, not you!

summerfun13 · 07/05/2019 07:09

But ok to start a thread on it Grin

Diddleysquat · 07/05/2019 07:09

I don’t think they get messages to say you have unfollowed them. I guess they could tell if they happened to look through their list of followers and your not on it but if they hardly know you why would they care? They must have very few followers for it to be clear who has unfollowed. I have only been on instagram for a year and most of my followers are strangers (I post about a hobby not personal stuff), I’m always surprised at how much my followers list goes up and down every day.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/05/2019 07:10

You have every right to unfollow them, but they have every right to ask you why too. Just tell them.

Original poster
TWISTYBIRD · 07/05/2019 07:10

But ok to start a thread on it 

Eh?

OP posts:
Loubylouchirino · 07/05/2019 07:11

I had the same on twitter a few months ago. This guy followed about 3000 people then I unfollowed him and he messaged me to ask why within seconds. I can only presume that he has an app or something that shows who unfollows him. I told him he was rude for asking, then he unfollowed me in return and spent the next few days trying to refollow me (I have a locked account). It was all very strange.

whatwouldyoubelikeat28 · 07/05/2019 07:13

Social media is very real to a lot of people, but you won't find support here for that! MN readers are particularly disdainful of social media, which is strange considering this site IS social media, ad some of them spend a LOT of time on here.
Instagram, FB, Snapchat - the influence upon your life can be massive - and the way that people treat you, and their manners and so on, absolutely affects your relationship, whether or not PP believe it.

OP, you don't have to follow anyone, but for those that feel the slight, this will affect your IRL interactions. Up to you if that bothers you or not.
If you want to salvage the friendship, maybe make a second account where you follow EVERYONE and have a private account just for your personal close friends. There is also a feature where you can make a group of close friends and only post to them. Negotiating social media hassles can be challenging, follow your instincts as to whether you are doing the right thing or not.

Original poster
TWISTYBIRD · 07/05/2019 07:16

But @whatwouldyoubelikeat28 it's entirely different. This site is mainly anonymous. Surely the fact that you have to create a second account to follow everyone so you don't affect their self-esteem rings alarm bells? That's not healthy.

OP posts:
beautifullama · 07/05/2019 07:20

In my experience people get very offended if you unfollow/unfriend/don't like everything they do, very sad really.

LoafofSellotape · 07/05/2019 07:23

I just hide people, easier all round and less likely to offend.

Unicornshopkeeper · 07/05/2019 07:24

Mute mute mute! You can mute posts, stories or both

Though I don't think YABU and think it both strange that they knew you'd unfollowed and messaged you about it. Rude

Hithere12 · 07/05/2019 07:24

I normally just mute people instead of unfollowing unless it’s someone I dislike. Just because it might be awkward if I ever run into them haha. But yeah they sound weird for messaging you about this so probably for the best.

User11011 · 07/05/2019 07:27

That's insane! How did they even know? They must have forensic knowledge of their followers. Sounds unhealthy and like their issue more than yours!

AndOutComeTheBoobs · 07/05/2019 07:29

I delete people from Facebook all the time, and there's always the odd one who friend requests me again.
One of them does repeatedly.
So now I've left their request open and unanswered.

It's weird.

I wouldn't notice if someone deleted me. How can you even tell?!

PollyPelargonium52 · 07/05/2019 07:48

I think the type of person who actually ends up messaging to dispute the matter in fact DOES see social media as real life. They live by it. To them it is usual to spend hours and hours on facebook and update all and sundry their every move. And to their mind those who do not have a sad non life.

SuchAToDo · 07/05/2019 08:32

I wouldn't notice if someone deleted me. How can you even tell

I think there is app and special sites that you can sign in to and it lets you know the ones who have in followed you and those who have followed you etc...I know.ine.guy who is fanatical about being in followed to the point where if someone in follows him (even if it's a complete stranger) he hounds them in socials media posts tagging them in it, then if they don't "apologise" and follow him he starts again but this time insulting them to his followers (for the crime of.unfollowing him) but still tags them in

I just keep a low profile on social media, I hate all the drama it creates

Eslteacher06 · 07/05/2019 08:42

If social media is considered real, then therein lies the problem.

Most of the stuff on social media isn't real. I could post picture perfect pictures on there while 5 mins before we were all screaming at each other. I don't use Instagram, but I assume people check how many followers they have...and that must be addictive

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