Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL - giving sugar to DS

27 replies

emmar88 · 06/05/2019 20:23

DDis slightly overweight (school recently advised after reception weigh-ins ) however has a generally healthy diet and we are making improvements where we can to ensure low sugar intake.
I've discussed with family members and in-laws about portion control and no unnecessary added sugar.
Since the conversation with MIL a week ago she has continued to bring over unhealthy food for DD when she visits (eg a day after our conversation she gave DD a kinder surprise at 11am when she was babysitting)
I was livid made a comment but thought probably a one off. Tonight she's called over and given my DD another kinder surprise at 7pm I obviously promptly took it of her and we've had a tantrum and straight to bed (advised she can have the chocolate after school tomorrow )
I can't understand if she's 1) absolutely thick or 2) she has no respect for my wishes and thinks I'm a joke
Either way I am going to be texting her tonight, I think I know what to say but does anyone have advice ? AIBU? I'm just fed up with the battle, and don't want to leave me DD in her company which is inevitable.

OP posts:
tinyme77 · 06/05/2019 20:25

Get your OH to speak to her. She's their mother and should be able to deal with it better. Also speaking is better than texting.

Original poster
emmar88 · 06/05/2019 20:27

Unfortunately my OH has a similar attitude to his mother, I feel it's best I speak to her to make my feelings clear

OP posts:
LL83 · 06/05/2019 20:31

Your mil is being really thoughtless/selfish. As well as reading the riot act I would suggest some other small non food treats she can buy for dd as I think changing her habits will be easier if she has an alternative.

WorraLiberty · 06/05/2019 20:43

What suggestions have you made, for her to replace the chocolate snacks with?

Original poster
emmar88 · 06/05/2019 20:47

Fruit has been suggested but in tonight's case I don't want to say ' instead of trying to give chocolate to my DD at 7pm give 'x' instead' the fact is 7pm is bedtime and I don't want my dD to eat at this time.

OP posts:
Likethebattle · 06/05/2019 20:48

Does dd do any exercise as well as changing her diet?

Original poster
emmar88 · 06/05/2019 20:51

Yes, we had just come back from an exercise class when MIL gave the chocolate to DD. Pretty active most nights of the week.

OP posts:
LJS79 · 06/05/2019 20:56

I wouldn't take any notice of the reception weigh in. I got told my daughter was overweight- she was skinny enough to see her ribs!!! When we checked they had measured her 10cm shorter than she was 🙄
I really resent labelling children at such a young age. I opted out of including my second daughter. She wasn't weighed.

Willowkoko · 06/05/2019 20:57

Wouldn’t worry too much about the reception weigh-ins, as an ex-teacher - according to the weigh-ins a third of my class was overweight one year, I would of never guessed it and by the end of ks1, they were all very normal.

GP love treating their GK, I imagine it brings her joy to see DD so happy. Maybe a quiet word, voice concerns, may ask that if she insists on a present for DD a few coins for her to save up? Something crafty from Poundland, I’m sure DD would have a similar reaction to those.

FrancesFryer · 06/05/2019 21:00

Saturday used to be sweets day. My children knew if they got anything in the week it was to go in their box for Saturday. They then chose from the box a couple of things to eat that day.
Could be a compromise?

TidyDancer · 06/05/2019 21:03

What else has she given her? The odd kinder egg as a treat wouldn't bother me if it was all she was giving her but I'm assuming there's more going on? Also substituting chocolate for fruit when you're trying to limit sugar is perhaps not the best plan.

Reception weigh ins are not the best measure to go by either tbh.

I wouldn't be texting her if it was me. I don't think two treats in a week is anything to worry about.

WorraLiberty · 06/05/2019 21:03

For goodness sake.

It's definitely not worth ignoring if your child has been flagged as overweight in Reception.

The obesity rate for children leaving year 6 is almost double, so it's bad advice to tell any parent to ignore or not to worry.

The OP is doing the right thing.

cadburyegg · 06/05/2019 21:06

she was skinny enough to see her ribs!!!

That’s normal in prepubescent children of a healthy weight, it doesn’t mean they are skinny.

mondaycando1 · 06/05/2019 21:06

Ds1 has a genetic dental issue that at times involves lots of lengthy and painful treatment and is exacerbated by sugar and after one lot of surgery my MIL gave him a tray of cupcakes as a reward for being brave, words failed me and I walked out the room. You have my sympathy OP!

Waveysnail · 06/05/2019 21:10

Could you open kinder egg with agreement that child gets the toy and chocolate is saved for later

Di11y · 06/05/2019 21:21

dd same age has a chocolate jug, any sweets or chocolate I don't want her to have straight away go in there, and every so often she has something from it for pudding.

Hecateh · 06/05/2019 21:37

I had it with my next door neighbours. I said 'no' they said 'one won't hurt' and gave both kids a biscuit. I took the biscuit off the children and then said loudly. 'Look - you've made them cry now'.

Neighbours were upset BUT they didn't make that mistake again. And any time it looked likely I said ' Remember how you made them cry last time'.

They were great neighbours generally but just wanted to treat my kids all the time

Original poster
emmar88 · 06/05/2019 21:46

MIL is around 4 times a week, so bringing a kinder egg each time doesn't become the 'odd treat' that's why it's an issue for me.

OP posts:
stucknoue · 06/05/2019 22:02

Thankfully there's not actually much chocolate in a kinder egg! It's about balance and even fruit can be an issue. Yes limit chocolate to twice a week perhaps but also look at portion control - most of us with extra pounds know that this is the number one reason for them, not "bad" foods

Notcontent · 06/05/2019 22:03

That would really upset me too. A lot of people seem completely in denial about the impact having lots of sugary foods and drinks has on our health.

Original poster
emmar88 · 06/05/2019 22:18

A kinder egg still has a quarter of a child's daily allowance of sugar. Thanks for the comments, I'll be telling the MIL to stop bringing food to our house,

OP posts:
pikapikachu · 06/05/2019 22:28

Yanbu to ask that she replaces chocolate with say a 50p coin or a sticker instead. 50p per visit= £2per week so a nice little earner.

Riv · 06/05/2019 22:35

You may need to be more specific than banning her from bringing food. It’s surprisingly common for people to consider sweets and chocolate as something other than food... and then bizarrely think that it’s ok to give them to people who need to control their sugar intake.Confused

MrsDrudge · 06/05/2019 22:42

Maybe MIL could bring a different sort of treat - crayons, colouring book, puzzle book, stickers, coins to put in piggy bank, small toys such as bubbles to blow, ball to play with? Poundland, B&M stores etc have lots of cheap and cheerful little treats which might replace the chocolate.

LJS79 · 06/05/2019 23:22

she was skinny enough to see her ribs!!!

That’s normal in prepubescent children of a healthy weight, it doesn’t mean they are skinny.

  • but it means they are a healthy weight and not obese which was the point being made
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.