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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH says I have a shopping problem.....

26 replies

FuckYouRichardParker · 06/05/2019 16:23

I've been denying it but AIBU given that I've just tidied our bedroom and unearthed 2 pairs of trousers, 1 top, 4 T-shirts, 1 skirt and 1 jacket?

Oh, and a scarf and 2 pairs of boots!

OP posts:
Processedpea · 06/05/2019 16:25

What ?

Scabetty · 06/05/2019 16:26

Unworn or brand new? You forgot you bought them?

CurtainsOpen · 06/05/2019 16:28

That's nice, dear. Find an excuse to dress-up and get him to take you out looking fly.

Mintandthyme · 06/05/2019 16:29

Do you mean that are still unworn ? And that you had forgotten you bought them?

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2019 16:31

DO you shop a lot? Is it affecting your finances? Do you use shopping to deal with emotional issues, like some people use good to deal with their problems? If yes, then maybe you do have a problem with shopping.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2019 16:32

*food

FuckYouRichardParker · 06/05/2019 16:34

Brand new. But mainly all sale stuff. That's probably the problem tbh, can't resist a bargain (even when it's not).

OP posts:
springandsummertime · 06/05/2019 16:34

I do a bit, to be honest. I don't have debts and it isn't as if I buy designer gear often but I do get a bit carried away buying this and that Blush mostly makeup, skin care, accessories - I have so many earrings.

On the one hand it isn't a problem, it's a little treat to make me feel good, on the other it's a bit (very) silly when I have two unused shower gels and buy another!

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2019 16:38

It's not a bargain if it's something you don't need.

englishdictionary · 06/05/2019 16:44

Well it's not indicative of a problem. I often have things new in my wardrobe for an age before they get worn but I don't have a shopping problem.

FuckYouRichardParker · 06/05/2019 16:44

It's not a bargain if it's something you don't need

So true. I bought a skirt FFS, I never wear skirts. It doesn't matter it was half price.

OP posts:
Motoko · 06/05/2019 16:48

I bought a skirt FFS, I never wear skirts. It doesn't matter it was half price.

Well, that's not good.

englishdictionary · 06/05/2019 16:50

I bought a skirt FFS, I never wear skirts

This is what indicates a problem. Not having new things, but having new unnecessary things.

VictoriaBun · 06/05/2019 17:00

I've been there, I'd go clothes shopping once or twice a week, try on the items in the shop, buy them, come home and put the items still in the bag in the wardrobe/cupboard . Then I had to get my ' fix' and do it again a few days later. Spent hundreds thousands often buying stuff to realise I'd even bought it before when I came home. For me I think it was a form of depression, I was giving myself a high whilst actually trying/ then buying the clothes. Once home they became nothing.
It went on for awhile, and once your cupboards, wardrobes, drawers etc are heaving with the stuff I came to the conclusion it was so fruitless , it didn't actually make me happy, they were in fact a burden.
I stopped, just like that. Most of it went off to charity shops, and now I'm the complete opposite. I hardly buy any clothes, not because I have so much ( I don't) but because I no longer feel the need.

Coquohvan · 06/05/2019 17:01

I love a bargain was out shopping today getting a gift for a new baby in the family. Had a mooch around the women’s clothes department. Saw a winter coat with 2/3rds off grabbed it. That’s me sorted come winter time. I love it, i wouldn’t never had paid full price as it’s a good make so cozy and warm.
Oh and the baby gift was 20% off 👍

Orangecake123 · 06/05/2019 17:09

OP you can stop if you really want to. I was a bit similar but the straw that broke the camels back for me was when I came back from visiting my parents and the bar in my cupboard split in half due to the weight of the all the hangers and clothes!

Except the pair of gloves in January I bought when I lost mine, It's been almost 19 months since I bought any other item of clothing. Now it's like second nature.

Baby steps but you have to want to change. First of all go through all your cupboards and see exactly what you have already.

Stick to a complete 3 day ban.

ForalltheSaints · 06/05/2019 17:10

If you are buying things you don't need, it is a problem. Though you are by no means alone. Even worse if you fall victim to some of the stupid fashions there are.

Fast fashion is also thought to be the second biggest contributor to climate change after fossil fuels.

Sparklesocks · 06/05/2019 17:13

If you regularly buy things you don’t need just to get the ‘rush/joy’ of buying something, then yes you might have a problem.

IPokeBadgers · 06/05/2019 17:20

on the other it's a bit (very) silly when I have two unused shower gels and buy another!

Hahahaha hahaha! Wink
Join us on the beauty product hoard thread and you will soon see that having 3 shower gels in your stash is not a problem!

Seriously though, mindless shopping and consumption probably isn't making you happy other than in a really passing moment....if you think about it, it might be fun and worthwhile to take a more mindful approach to acquiring "stuff" for a period of time, do a month of "no spend" and really explore what you have and enjoy using what's already in your cupboards and wardrobes. It can be quite an eye-opener 😁

FuckYouRichardParker · 06/05/2019 17:31

You all have a point. I've just spent 5 mins shoving clean washing into a completely stuffed wardrobe, there is literally no room for anything else. I'm going to have a complete cull, and I've started by putting a just washed hoody into a charity pile which hopefully I will be adding to.

And no more shopping.😬

OP posts:
llangennith · 06/05/2019 17:45

DIL is well paid and was always buying expensive clothes then a while later realising she neither liked nor needed them. She decided to go and rummage through charity shop stuff. Sometimes she buys things and wears them once before donating them back to the charity shop. Saves her a lot of money.

BlueJava · 06/05/2019 17:45

YABU - give up shopping for a few months and track your progress. You'll be amazed at how much you don't need and how much you can save. A sale "bargain" is only a bargain if you actually need it - otherwise it's just more money spent.

Scabetty · 06/05/2019 18:09

Honestly, you can kick this if you are aware of it. I was awful but this year I am saving money for a variety of reasons and have bought very little in the way of clothes. I like seeing my bank balance Smile

CareBear50 · 06/05/2019 18:25

It's the cost per wear. If you spend say £50 quid on a blouse and wear it twice a week for a year, that equates to a fifty pence per wear. But if you spend twenty quid on s pair of half price trousers and wear them once, it's a cost per wear of twenty quid. For me, that's the important thing

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2019 18:52

I think you will be completely shocked to realise how much money you are spending on tat. I also think you really need to develop an understanding about the difference between "want" and "need." I can appreciate how your husband is concerned about your shopping.

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