AIBU to think some men enjoy intimidating women they don’t know.

[Ghanagirl]

I’m sat in the park watching my son play football as he wanted to get out of the house as hypocrite neighbour is always moaning about balls going over into her garden.
(Whole other thread)
Sat reading magazine and drinking coffee whilst able to see DS playing with some boys he’s just met which is the beauty of football.
4 benches at that part of the park, I wanted to sit on Bench closest to Where DS playing but both closest occupied by lone men 3rd is free so perch there.
10 mins after sitting down 3 young guys drinking beer decide they want to sit next to me despite one bench completely free and other 2 had older white man and other young back guy (I’m mentioning race as I’m black)
So they sit down next to me and the one closest says in Eastern European accent that he likes black women.
I tell him I’m married much older than him and not interested and could they move.
I’m then subjected to them laughing and talking together but have no idea what they are saying.
They finally move on when they see my DS (12 but still waiting for his growth spurt) running towards us as they departed one of them called me a “Monkey bitch”!
I’ve been subjected to racism multiple times but I’m mid forties and thought I’d already fort these battles.
It’s so depressing😔

People are shit. Sorry OP

That is depressing, OP.
There is no sense to these men's behaviour, and I am sorry that you were subjected to it.

Some people are just arse holes. Fortunately good people out weigh the bad but it’s not when you come across a wanker

Dickheads. I'm sorry you had to deal with that vile behaviour. Ugh.

In answer to your question, yes I do think some men enjoy it.

They couldn’t intimidate you so they went for the lowest denominator insult. I’d feel sorry for these lowlifes and hope they find more meaning in their lives than trying it on with random women

So sorry OP. Some people are just cunts.

Fucking cunts OP. I think you’re right that it was misogyny as well as racism, because they targeted you rather than the young black guy. They probably thought a woman would be an easier target so they’re cowards as well as racist misogynistic cunts.

I hope you’re OK

This is awful, and I'm sorry it happened OP. It makes me so angry that people think they can treat others like this. Plus they go off about their day without giving it a second thought and you are left pondering it. It was racist abuse - could it be reported to someone?

Not exactly the same situation, but I went jogging in my local park a couple of years ago, feeling slightly self conscious but really good about the fact I was out and exercising, when a group of teenagers on a bench I ran past shouted "titties" at me. It was so gross, and I just crumbled inside. Carried on running home and didn't jog in that park again. People can be thoughtless wankers.

Pathetic wankers who get angry when rejected as they think they are entitled to attention from any woman they choose.

I've had this before. Some men hate being rejected, especially in front of their mates.

Hope you're okay, OP. Awful behaviour

Some people are awful, my husbands uncle who is in his 80s and white asked me what country I come from and scoffed when I said England apparently I have to not make a fuss because he’s old, I still get annoyed about this 5 years on. Just ignore and pity racist creeps.

That’s absolutely disgusting and you know what? I’d have phoned the police right there and then.

Absolute dickheads OP - I’m so sorry

So depressing, op. I've not experienced the double whammy of racism, but misogyny and intimidation plenty of times. It sometimes feels like the last 50 years never happened.

Thanks for the support feed much more calm today.
It’s depressing as I have a pretty preteen DD I’m already scared for her, honestly thought she wouldn’t have to through the same shit.

Arseholes, so sorry you experienced this. I wonder whether there might be any CCTV footage which might help if you did report them to the police?

the one closest says in Eastern European accent

Im making no comments because I too would be stereotyping.

Sorry you had to go through this OP, I remember when my boys were younger there was an older (Sikh) gentleman sitting in the park and the kids were surrounding him, taunting, calling him 'Taliban man' little shits and my boys came and got me and I walked him home. sometimes I don't think things change much.

That is truly awful, yes I agree with you about enjoying intimidating, I’ve had some minor racism/xenophobia in my life and know how awful it is but nothing on that level.

Also thank you for starting this thread as really necessary for people like me (not black, different kind of minority) to know all the shit that black women have to face in basic everyday life. It’s horrifying.

for you.

Men have always enjoyed intimidating women, yes. Sorry op. I think it's getting worse.

That’s grim sorry that happened to you OP. I’ve lived in two Eastern European countries and the racism was shocking. Completely tolerated. It was so hard to listen to, I can’t even imagine being the person subjected to it.

I definitely think some men love intimidating women, makes their fragile male ego feel powerful. Pathetic.

It's crap. Yes, they do enjoy it.

The main problem (in my opinion), is Men feeling entitled to harass women and abuse those who resist. They know it's the most offensive thing they can say to try to hurt you - that's why they chose it - and why they didn't say it front of a man.

Ugh. They are disgusting, racist, misogynistic: everything that amounts to the lowest common denominator.

I'm sorry you were subjected to this, OP.

Yeah some blokes get off intimidating women (and men they think won't get violent), they're cowards who enjoy the sense of power over other people because they have such little control of their own lives, in my experience. I'm sorry this happened to you, it's really shitty.

That’s awful. But very common unfortunately. I usually stare at them until they back off (but I have the ultimate might be a psycho killer resting bitch face so might just be me).

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve it and I agree some people (usually men) seem to enjoy bullying others they perceive as vulnerable.
I've had a few really nasty comments from guys, surprisingly more so when pregnant, including a middle aged man following me into a car park and shouting full volume. Was also called a bitch a few months ago for not lending a random man my mobile phone in the street. I had shopping bags everywhere, a crying toddler, it was raining and I am clearly preggo.
Funnily enough no one ever says anything when my husband (who is a marine) is with me...
People can be so shit.