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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if 5/6 I too young for a pool party?

78 replies

PumpkinPie2016 · 05/05/2019 15:44

My DS will be six at the end of Nov. He will be Y1 and most of his friends will be 5 as he is one of the oldest. DS has swimming lessons and can swim unaided. I know a few kids in the class have lessons but I don't know if all do.

I was thinking of having a pool party for his sixth birthday. It would be held in a leisure centre learner pool. The pool is only 0.9m deep everywhere and there are arm discs/woggles. Me, DH and my parents would definitely be willing to get in - me, my mum and DH are all excellent swimmers. My dad can swim - not amazing but certainly competent enough.

Other parents would be welcome to join us in the pool or watch.

Would you/your child be ok with a pool party at this age of do you think it's too young? I don't want a load of people not coming because they don't like the idea.

OP posts:

Badgerama · 05/05/2019 16:11

Serious question and I'm prepared to be flamed... why are people so horrified at the thought of going into the pool? It's a kids party... no-one is looking at you in a cossie and judging... it's to help your child have a brilliant time at a friends party... everyone's focusing on the children, not the adults in the pool.
I'm size 16/18 and everything wobbles. I probably look awful in a cossie but I don't care... if people want to judge me, then let them. Why do you all worry about what strangers or people you know from school, or your kids' friends' parents think?! I want my child to see my confidence not me refusing to put on a cossie... it's odd!

TinyGhostWriter · 05/05/2019 16:15

That’s far too young an age group for you to take responsibility for in a swimming pool, even with your parents helping.

For 5 year olds, this sort of event would most likely suit a small group where the parents know each other and will attend. Not all parents will be keen.

On a separate note - are you sure you want to pick a type of party that could exclude some of your sons friends from attending due to a lack of swimming ability/ confidence in water etc?

DontCallMeBaby · 05/05/2019 16:19

DD had a pool party for her 7th, I think. You may be okay with a DS, but we had an unexpected issue ... we had mostly girls and a handful of boys, but almost entirely accompanying dads (me and one other mum, DH and about five other dads). Fine in the pool, but the change facilities for parties were segregated (normal changing includes family cubicles) so the three boys were VERY well supervised in the changing room, the fourteen girls ... less so. That said, other mum managed to wash all the girls’ hair, while the boys sounded like they needed the supervision.

IsYourGoogleBroken · 05/05/2019 16:23

The pool will have life guards and people in the water too.

Clavinova · 05/05/2019 16:23

Both of my dc went to a couple of pool parties at that age - I also felt I needed to get in the pool to supervise (muttering under my breath of course). It is quite embarrassing having other kids' dads in the pool with you, and I'm a size 8/10 - the kids had fun though.

Also, if the party is end of Nov - some kids, including your ds might have colds and not want to go swimming.

Watch the 'pool party' episode of Motherland.

Figgygal · 05/05/2019 16:24

To the previous poster asking what's the objection to pool parties

I just can't be arsed with the getting changed malarkey plus I find them really transactional and impersonal.

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump · 05/05/2019 16:28

My dd went to one that was a sixth birthday party. If they couldn’t swim 25m or were under 6 they needed an adult in the water with them.

None of the other parents were happy to get in the pool in front of the others. But most could swim 25m. Those who weren’t yet 6 lied so they didn’t have to have a parent with.

IsYourGoogleBroken · 05/05/2019 16:29

On a separate note - are you sure you want to pick a type of party that could exclude some of your sons friends from attending due to a lack of swimming ability/ confidence in water etc?

The pool is 0.9 meters deep - 35 inches
The average height of a 5yo is 42 inches (range between 38 and 48 inches)

They don't need to swim, they need to be able to stand, which they can. Unless there are some abnormally short people in the class, but Im sure the OP would have said.

SunshineSpring · 05/05/2019 16:29

We must have gone to a Y1 swimming party. It was well attended. Not sure if some confidence was from the organiser also teaching at the school, so she was a known quantity?
It is the only party I remember seeing so many Dads - we had to go in the pool. The party boys grandparents were general extra hands, not the only supervision.
Iirc, everyone had to wear flotation devices - it was an inflatable obstacle course style thing. Would you have any toys in the pool? That adds to the fun, but also adds to the supervision requirements.

lovelylondonsky · 05/05/2019 16:31

Can't think of anything worse tbh and would decline.

PuppyMonkey · 05/05/2019 16:31

Badgerama, I don’t give a stuff what I look like or what you look like, I just hate swimming pools.

flitwit99 · 05/05/2019 16:33

No from me.

I went to one when ds was 6. The pool was shallow. Lots of parents let their kids go in alone thinking their kids would be fine because it was shallow but many of them didn't like it at all. I did go in and one point had 3 kids clinging to me. I was so relieved when it was over.

kaytee87 · 05/05/2019 16:33

@Badgerama it's a complete faff getting changed etc. And no on actually talks to each other.

flitwit99 · 05/05/2019 16:35

The pool is 0.9 meters deep - 35 inches
The average height of a 5yo is 42 inches

So the water is only 7 inches below the top of their head? If a kid who was not massively water confident fell over in that they could easily panic.

SushiGo · 05/05/2019 16:36

I've been to one for this age, it's fine.

I would invite younger siblings though so it's more like a normal family swim, both parents can come etc. just changes the dynamic a bit!

Nottheduchess · 05/05/2019 16:36

It’s not too young but legally they would have to have a responsible adult with them. You’ll probably get less replies than a dry party.

Waveysnail · 05/05/2019 16:38

Too young. My sons yr3 and just started school swimming lessons. Only a 3rd of his class can swim ok. Quite a.surising number are not water confident

BedraggledBlitz · 05/05/2019 16:38

I would decline this party as my DS cannot swim and I wouldn't want to stand in my swimsuit making small talk with other parents.

TinyGhostWriter · 05/05/2019 16:43

@IsYourGoogleBroken

Just because children can stand in water, doesn’t necessarily mean they will fully participate or feel confident.

Also children on the smaller end of that height range ( i.e. 38 inches) would likely have their nose and mouth submerged in a 35 inch pool!

MereDintofPandiculation · 05/05/2019 16:44

I remember attending a pool party with DS aged 5. Great fun, everyone seemed to enjoy it. Must have been an expectation that parents were there else I wouldn't have been there.

Yes, it may exclude some people, but what sort of party wouldn't exclude someone?

IsYourGoogleBroken · 05/05/2019 16:44

@flitwitt - ifs and buts, ifs and buts. Thats why there are life guards.

Sorry, Mrs Popular as usual, but I cant help thinking we all did these sorts of parties 20 odd years ago, not one single parent got in the pool (other than the hosts father who really just wanted to play ) it's just ramping up another level of helicopter parenting and molly coddling.

Kids do not need to be perpetually hovered round like they are fragile beings. They are robust and they need to learn positive risk taking or they'll end up with acute anxiety and a selection of MN approved MH disorders because they've never had to develop 'copeability'.

OP - they will be a great party . Go ahead and book it.

Kokapetl · 05/05/2019 16:45

I think I'd be OK with this if I could come and watch. And help DC get changed etc because otherwise at that age they would lose half their stuff! Mine go to swimming lessons in a pool around that depth so would be fine. I think most of the kids in our yr 1 class can swim but then we do live fairly near the sea, in a town where lots of families have boats and kayaks etc.

twilightcafe · 05/05/2019 16:45

Pool party? Wearing your cossie in front of a load of school parents? None of whom I want to see in their swimwear, either.

Been there, done that.

Never again.

Gratefulbeyond103 · 05/05/2019 16:46

Way too young. I wouldn't bother sending my ds. Maybe 9/10 would be more appropriate

ohmydaysagain · 05/05/2019 16:46

I hate pool parties for under 8's as I had to get in the pool with the kids and I'm fat, nothing more embarrassing than wearing a swim costume in front of other parents

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