To ask DH to eat much bigger portions

[EvieC83]

We’ve been together a really long time. DH is very tall and relatively good looking. For the past 10 years or so, he’s been focussed on eating well (mostly a paleo diet) and he always combined this with gym 4/5 times a week.

18 months ago, he got promoted into a very senior role and works very long hours. He no longer has any time for the gym and instead has started really limiting what he eats!! He is now so restrictive about his portion sizes and as a result, has lost a lot of weight and all of his muscle. He’s 6’3” and now wears a 30” waist!!! I don’t like it at all.

He’s restricting himself from enjoyment (now only drinks coffee for breakfast, seems to think sugar and carbs are evil) and if I’m honest, I don’t find him physically attractive nowadays.

He recently ordered some new jeans and casual trousers online. Honestly, his legs looked like thin drainpipes. I had to be careful how I phrased it, as I didn’t want to upset him (thankfully he sent them all back). MIL and my sister have both commented to me that they’re concerned about DH’s appearance. Annoyingly, neither will say anything directly to him!!

I’m a SAHM and would be happy for him to go to the gym on the weekends/whenever he can. Instead, he wants to spend all free time with me and our DC, who he never sees in the week.

I’ve tried serving him bigger portions, more carbs etc, but he won’t eat it and says he doesn’t want to “get a fat belly”. I’m at a loss what to do next. I can’t force him to eat more. AIBU??

I have nc’d for this post, as I fully expect a lot of negative feedback about accepting how your spouse looks. I know this would be totally flamed if a guy came on here and complained about his wife putting on weight.

This is an abnormal attitude to food and eating and those who are focussing on the 30" waist thing aren't concentrating on the gist of the post.
Eating is a social and sensual pleasure as well as a requirement for life.

No, the waist size wouldn’t alarm me either, I’m six foot and I have a thirty inch waist due to my diet and working out at home, I also have a fairly narrow frame.

As someone who had bulimia for a long time, the calorie limitation would concern me as it does seem a little extreme.

Lots of men have thin legs, nothing wrong with a 30 inch waist, his diet sounds fine. He spends spare time with his family. I don't understand what your problem is

Men need 2500 calories a day OP. Do you think he's getting that?

Is he underweight? He just sounds slim and healthy.

DH is 6’5” and has a 34” waist. He weighs about 83kg and looks slim but healthy. I guess you’d say he’s ‘lanky’. So the waist size isn’t necessarily a cause for alarm but it does read like your DH has very disordered eating. I’d be worried that he was tipping into anorexia. Which is obviously a much bigger problem than simply eating bigger portions will solve. You need a conversation with him.