To not lend money even when I have it

[tightass]

My friend is always asking me for money.

The first time I leant it to her and she promised to pay me back on Monday and then come Monday she was posting pics of things she had bought as she had been paid but no offer of paying me back. I felt really uncomfortable but I ended up asking her to pay me back a few days after as I needed the money.

Now that's really put me off lending her money as I don't want to have to be in the situation where I have to ask for it... therefor I always say no, even if I have it and Im worried it's a bit of a horrible way to be. We aren't so well off or anything like that, I have a strict budget I'm keeping to as we are trying to get out of debt and so to lend her money would be out of my weekly budget which is quite tight as it is.

AIBU to not lend her the money?

YANBU and shouldn't feel bad at all. Sadly some people use the words "borrow" and "loan" when they mean "give". Only ever "borrow" or "loan" what you are happy to "give" and if you get it back, ok and if you don't, ok too.

tightass, you cut her off. Don't wait for her to do it! She won't. She'll keep chancing her arm. She's no friend. She's a pisstaking CFer. At least you've finally telling her NO and sticking to it.

Yes @MissConductUS that was certainly correct in our circumstances! My DM told me afterwards I basically owed her for the care she'd given to me as a child. Didn't realise that being born was a lifetime financial obligation!

Yanbu... i lent my cousin money once £100 odd quid, didnt even have it spare..took ot out of my savings account as he was really desperate and promised to pay it back at the end of the month. End of month came and went and about 2-3 months went by. I asked for it back..even if it was paid back half now and half another time. Cant remember response but a few weeks later he asked for a small amount eg £25 and i gave it to him as he promised to pay that back plus the money already owing at end of month because he had just started a new job (was jobless before thats why he couldnt pay). Still waiting for money back and this was over a year ago. Got fed up of asking. Never again lending money to ANYONE, cant be bothered with the hassle

YANBU. There are very few pelple I would lend money to, including people in my family. I know too many people that would rather stitch others up in taking ages to pay back when they have the means to pay them back faster.

YANBU.

I once asked a friend to come with me on holiday, I would provide for us a place to stay, all she had to do was to buy a plane ticket and share the costs for a rental car, food etc. She said she would love to join me, but had no money for the plane ticket (even though she was constantly buying expensive clothes, eating out in posh places and bragging about it on instagram). She asked me if I could lend her the money. I lied and said I couldn’t afford that, because I knew she and her husband were in debt because of their extravagant lifestyle and highly doubted if and when she would pay me back.

Eventually she bought the ticket and we went.
I am so happy I didnt lend her the money.

She said she would pay half of the gift I bought to say thank you for the family member that let us stay with him for free. never saw a penny for that.
Though she did spend money on souvenirs for other friends whilst being there. There were some additional costs for the rental car (booked on my credit card) that she said she would pay me back, never seen a penny for that either.

Trust your instincts OP, I am glad that I did.

Never a lender or borrower be. Not unless you give it with no expectation of getting it back.

Good for ou OP! I lost a lot of money when I used to try and help. Espensive lesson. Now I will not lend to anyone.

money books records cds dvds.

Only lend them if you are happy to never get the stuff back,

Just reiterating what everyone else said ... never lend money to a friend. If it was a close trusted family member then yes but otherwise steer clear and don't feel guilty about it.